On tonight's evening news, we'll look into the sudden popularity of the jalepeno and the resulting price increase. Farmers predict that at the current rate, we will simply run out of jalepenos by mid summer. It is still uncertain what is driving demand, but it seems to be most popular amongst males ages 16-34. Stay tuned for more.
@I shjt you not, should've just said males, age doesn't affect it.
@lizerdman87, Women have needs too you know *Nudge* *Nudge* *Wink* *Wink*
@I shjt you not, the best part about the comment is 34
@Jethro Skylight , *wink wink nudge nudge trip fall*
@Killing instincts , but do you know what's better than 34?... 35
@I shjt you not, anything's a fleshlight if you're brave enough.
@StuffandThings85, FLESHlight? *shivers in delight*
@I shjt you not,in unrelated news hospital visits are up, men have been getting strange inflammations around the genital region
@Jethro Skylight , cucumbers, that is all
@I shjt you not, You are, like, my ROLE MODEL, like, no joking!! I start feeling depressed, and I read one of your comments, and I sometimes fall off my bed
@ShugaKissu, thank you. All I want to do is give people a chuckle if I can
That's what I call a spicy wiener
@The Creepy Mailman, Carlos spicy weiner here go ahead
@The Creepy Mailman, THATS A SPICYIA PENIS
This would be so.. so painful.
@PeanutButterPopsicle, it's on the internet, it must be true
@PeanutButterPopsicle, sounds more spicy than painful.
@PeanutButterPopsicle, It's meant to prepare you for un-protected sex with a hooker
@Jethro Skylight , you just made me spit my water all over my table hahahaha
@PeanutButterPopsicle, i think that is the joke
@PeanutButterPopsicle, but....but what if it isn't?
@FancyPenguin, FOR SCIENCE!
@PeanutButterPopsicle, FINALY A USE FOR CONDOMS
@PeanutButterPopsicle, *Bane voice* For you.
@PeanutButterPopsicle, it is...... did this as a kid. Was curious what would happen. My parents found out what I did after a good 6 hours of screaming. WORST.PAIN.EVER.
@MGS, Wow, 'My Generation Sucks', if your the real guy I'd like to say that you are one of the greatest under-appreciated commenters of all time.
@PeanutButterPopsicle, not as painful as the fact of actually being able to fit inside a jalapeno...
@PeanutButterPopsicle, it's a good kinda hurt tho.
@PeanutButterPopsicle, Herpes Sex Simulator 2014.
@EveryUserNameIsTaken, Just... What... I... No... Just... No...
@PeanutButterPopsicle, Would you rather use a peanut butter popsicle??
In other news, emergency rooms are seeing an increase in traffic related to groin injuries and chemical burns. One patient was screaming so loud that hospital security was forced to tranquilize him on the spot.
@Fat And Furious, I wish I could upvote you more for making me chuckle
@Captain Britain, thanks captain! :D
Ow I actually tried it and it stung
@Peter parkWhore, thanks for sharing
Girl, are you a pepper...because I wanna get jalapeno a$$
@Nyhilo, I wish I could give you multiple up votes
I guess guys are looking to... (Puts on sunglasses) spice things up in the bedroom. Yeeeeeeaaaaa!
"why do we need so many jalepenos?" "Because mom! Stop asking questions"
Would it be as 'hot' as a real vagina? ...I need help don't I?
I bet this is why Jamal is always at the store ;)
I would not know such things
@And I Am Gay,
Did that before sex. My girlfriend had a big surprise....
You can trust this, it's a random pic on the Internet.
27 May 2014 #27May2014
Talk about a hot date!
Yep. Can definitely trust a random picture on the internet. Going to the store now
I TRUSTED YOU
DON'T DO IT!! IT BURNS!! IT'S AGONY!!
Natural selection at its finest...
Forever alone guy has most likely tried this already
You can counteract the acid in the jalapeño with lemon juice on the tip of your dick and a tablespoon of cinnamon up your butthole. THE MORE YOU KNOW
@Juan Republic, *jalapeno
Is no one going to discuss how small your wiener has to be for it to fit inside a jalapeno??
@MrsPants, who are wee kidding? We all know most of us on here would do just fine with a cayenne pepper.
@SWAT, ha... "wee"
How dose someone find this out? Are guys just putting their d*cks in things? Is there a scientist somewhere who is researching this? Or is it a crowdsourcing kind of thing?
After I do that I'd call my dick Fat Tuesday
"Man cuts off dick after trying to jerk off with a jalapeño" I guess you could say his sex was hot and sweaty. YEAAAAAHHHH
That would burn like hell
Instructions weren't clear, jalapeño got stuck in ass.
Ok... so guess what.. i tried it... bad idea.. but somebody had to do it, and i was that dumbass
Man, my d1ck really stings.
I'm not an expert on jalepenos but I'm quite sure I wouldn't fit.
Wonder who the first person to discover this was actually doing
Natural selection people. Promote this and we will live in a happy world XD
Sry can't.... Diicks too big :(
So.. who tried this first, and why?..
Ha! Their penis fits in a jalapeno.
Ok, first of all, jalapeños are tiny...
*makes hole too big and cries in a corner*
Homemade pocket p*ssy
Instructions weren't clear, accidentally used a fleshjack.
I made a salsa last week and chopped a ton of habeneros and jalepinos my hands and every thing on my body my hands touched burnt for days
This is completely random, but you guys are good at Photoshop, right? What app do you use? I have an iPad and I can use my mom's computer, but nothing ever seems good enough or won't download. Help!
@Horny Bitch, try happypuppies.net
@Stuckpixel Sniper, you are a cruel, cruel person. But I have to give you credit for that
@Stuckpixel Sniper, I can't believe I fell for that. It's....so disturbing.
Natural selection at work
Kinda bad if you can fit in a jalapeño
Yeah... Even I'm not falling for this. And
What that be called a jalapeño on a stick?
@Jun Fan, name it josé
@Jun Fan, *would
Seems legit. *tries* FUUUUUUU...
I will add this to my favourites for reasons... special reason.. ok.. im gona try it when im horny
@Im Sasquatch, please don't
Wouldn't it burn you dik off?
And just like that I'm gay
I'm gonna go with... No
I made stuffed jalapeños for my gf an her mom when I was invited over for dinner and spent the night. Didnt wear gloves when I was gutting them and thought nothin of it... Long story short it was a very very "hot" night 4 me and my girl. Both of us were in a lot of pain because of my stupidity.
I trusted you...
Anything is a fleshlight if you're brave enough...
Who discovered this?
I can confirm this method of self-arousal is not very effective...
StuckPixel is getting kinky...
Natural selection at its finest
This absolutely 100% works. Try it for real.
I was pledging a fraternity once and during one of the line ups in the basement for hazing, they threw hot sauce at us. My balls burned for the next two days
Trust me it works.
I can't fit
U gonna learn 2day
A jalapeño would be too small