So when I was 20 and a sophomore in college, I had this really cute girl I sat next to in my biology class (We'll call her shauna). I had quite an open obsession with lord of the rings, and after talking to the girl, I found she had never seen or read LOTR. But, being clever, I offered to take her on a date to watch fellowship. She said yes and was excited, but she said that she wanted to read the books first before she watched them. So, I lended my non annotated copies to her for a couple weeks. During the few weeks we would talk about the book she was on, and it became clear that she was loving it. At the end of two weeks, she gave me my books back and said she was ready to watch the movies with me.
So we cleared our schedules for that friday night! Now, I had deep cleaned...
@angrynarwhals, my apartment in preparation to ask her, but while she was reading the books I had completely let it go. It didn't help that I had a roommate who could only be compared to gollum. So on friday, I got home from school to a complete mess. I was supposed to be picking her up in an hour! I quickly went to my roommate, who even though was no cleaner than dirt, was really nice. I asked him to help me, but he had one condition. He had to watch it with us. As I screamed internally, I gritted my teeth and accepted. He was very helpful and we got the apartment deep cleaned in no time. I even convinced him to shower (a concept lost to him).
So, with the apartment cleaned, I went to pick up my date. I even got her flowers!
I took her hand and led her down to my car. I opened the door for her, and even put my jacket down so she didn't have to step in the mud. I was doing things textbook perfect.
So, in the car, I decided..
@angrynarwhals, to break it to her that my roommate was going to watch it with us. She smiled and said that as long as we could still cuddle it was fine by her. I think my happiness was audible.
We got to my apartment, and again, I opened her door, and did everything perfect. I opened my apartment door, praying that my roommate hadn't already dirtied it up. Luckily, all there was was an empty coca cola can on the counter which I quickly threw into the garbage. I introduced Shauna and my roommate to each other, and my roommate gave me a disaproving glance. I didn't mind though, and we quickly..
@angrynarwhals, sat down to watch the movie. My roommate sat on the recliner while me and my date got the couch. We snuggled under a blanket for the entire movie, and even snuck a few kisses. It was so cute when my date screamed and buried her face into my chest when Bilbo went all bat shjt crazy over the ring in Rivendell. Also, my roommate had barely peeped the entire three movies. By the time it was done, we were in tears. I looked..
@angrynarwhals, to my date and asked her if she needed anything before she went home (as she was a firm believer in abstinence). "Yea, but it's just something small"
"Anything you want"
"I need about tree fiddy"
It was about this time I realized that my date was actually a 7 story tall crustacean from the palezoic era. Goddamnit! The Lochness monster had tricked me again. I yelled at her as she swam away, never to be heard from again.
@angrynarwhals, I thought this was a really cute story, then all of a sudden that came out of nowhere. Bravo sir.
@angrynarwhals, that came out of nowhere... I feel tricked but I'm not upset at all.
@angrynarwhals, that was exceptional
@angrynarwhals, I knew this was too perfect to be true!
@angrynarwhals, YOU BASTARD
@angrynarwhals, I knew it.. But I loved it anyway
@angrynarwhals, you've caught my interest.. I want to know what happens!! Where is the rest of this??
@angrynarwhals, there's a picture somewhere with the same ending to the story, but it had to do with a guy sleeping with his crush while her boyfriend was away, ..damn if I can remember the pic ID :|
@angrynarwhals, I was the expecting Fresh Prince or Walk the Dinosaur.
@angrynarwhals, I knew it. I just knew it. X) I saw it coming. Most likely because I recognized your name but also the "..." When I know you could write more just made me sure it was coming. 😂
Good job! I'm glad you decided to bring up the joke again and not make a whole bunch of jokes at once that will make it predictable and old.
@angrynarwhals, you can't just stop in the middle if a story!
@angrynarwhals, Still a better love story than Twilight
@angrynarwhals, to be honest I thought it would be spaghetti
@angrynarwhals, I expected this but am not disappoint
@angrynarwhals, *slowly starts to clap*
@angrynarwhals, I saw through it when you put your jacket over the mud, nobody would ever do that, that being said,I was completely wrapped up in your story telling ability!
@angrynarwhals, Son of a bitch he got me
@angrynarwhals, I peed in a horse once.
@Srircha , Sriracha*
@angrynarwhals, I knew deep down it was too good to be true, but the naive little romantic in me bought it hook, line, and sinker. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
@KraigKasala, I know, for some stupid reason when I signed up my auto correct changed it to the spelling I have and if I change it I lose my pictures so yeah..
@angrynarwhals, what a reference. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile
@angrynarwhals, I feel dejected ;_;
I'm very happy, happier than I've ever been before.. And nobody cares or listens but I've decided to let you guys know because I want to share my happiness. I've been single for about 4 years and Always thought I'd die alone and I've always waited for "that right guy" but I've been losing hope fast and everything just seems so lonely as days went on. The other day I met a guy, and obviously he was attractive and he was very sweet
Guy you are looking for! And screw you stuck pixel you ruined my moment but still!
About it but I am so completely comfortable. Really the point is not to brag about how I'm happy but actually PLEASE THE PERSON YOU WANT IS WAITING FOR YOU. Don't waste your time on guys or girls who play games with you! Forget them! The faster you move on the faster you reach them... Respect yourself and don't beg for attention or change yourself . You are you and as long as you listen to me.. You will find that
And we continued to talk this whole week and he is the guy of my dreams. That might seem so far fetched but I am a very picky person and only look for serious relatonships! This guy has swooped me off my feet and I just can't stop smiling! He loves everything about me and vise versa! I feel myself when I'm around him and he even cares about my safety. I feel like we are just right for each other.. Every guy I've ever tried to date I've just had a weird feelin
What a cheeky thing to say.
Must've had some shjtty reception.
"Is that a phone in your back pocket or are you just happy to see me?" -Dickbutt
"Oops. yeah sorry butt dial"
is that a mirror in your pocket? because i can see me in those pants.
Sure, now it's witty and clever, but when I do it, it's "sexual harassment"
Well ya better hurry and answer
Kill Andrew Ryan
For some reason when I read this instead of thinking. "Ew creep." I thought. "No, I keep it in my front pocket." Ah, oh well.
Do you have an artist in your a$$? Because it's ringing my jam.
I think I'm a dog cause your give me a bone
Weird the woman told me the phone was calling the police....