(Looks at random stranger in my bed)
@MrWonka, *looks at random stranger in their bed*
@SWAT, *kisses anyway*
@MrWonka, *looks at my right hand and cries*
@MrWonka, plot twist: I am the random stranger
@Your Grandmas Tits, (screams)
Looks at pillow
@The Obvious User, looks at Dakimakura.
@The Obvious User, *violently fücks pillow*
Looks at phone
Looks at dog
Looks at mirror
Looks at nonexistent boyfriend
Looks at severed horse head
*Looks at girlfriend sleeping next to me* *realizes she's been away on a trip* *screams*
Looks at poster of yoda
Where I live you get thrown out into space
Just realized I live alone....she's making me food as we speak...I'm scared guys and slightly aroused
@Personal Jesus, well say three my fathers and don't do anything you wouldn't do.
Looks at cat. Purrfect
Looks at Kate Upton. Wait is this a dream, why are my boxers wet?
@Thinlizzy, no, you left your phone on. It's an ad
@Thegirlfriendsshirt, hahah clever
Looks at hand *insert Mr. Bean face*
Looks at couch
Looks at self
Yeah, but usually I get chased out of the house by the owner
Looks at inmate
*looks at computer with Netflix open*
Yes. Yes I do
*goes and wakes up mom*
Looks at dark abyss full of hatred and loneliness
Looks at hot guy...on TV.
I don't understand the "train" thing ? 😕
@mothergoosexxx, woke up on subway, kissed a stranger. Presumably whole car noticed triggering extreme embarrassment.
@KMN, ohh. Gee-whillickers, thank you. I was just overthinking it.
Yea "train" full of men