I'm not sure how y'all will respond to this because self promotion tends to get mixed reviews, so I totally understand if you downvote me. But, I've recently completed and published my first book. It's called the Nightstalker Saga: Origins and I'm just trying to get a the word out as much as I can. Basically it's an epic fantasy - alternate history combo series that I've been working on for a while. I'd really appreciate if you'd check it out, and I'm more than willing to give more details on what it is about if you want to know. It's here: http://thebp.site/79071 and I guess you do have to buy it, which probably makes me look worse, but it's whatever; I've been here for a long time now, so I know how the community tends to respond to stuff. Alright, thanks guys and sorry for the ads – I know you bought pro for a reason; I did too.
@Dex the Lumberjack, as long as you're not spaming ever pic. Then I don't give a fucc. I'll have to check it out. Sounds interesting.
@Dex the Lumberjack, congrats, I have been trying to write a book for a couple of years now, I am happy for you, but as punishment for your ad I am not giving you a like.
However I will check out your book.
@Dex the Lumberjack, congrats on the opportunity man, hope it brings good things for you.
@Dex the Lumberjack, don't worry,ill fight your ad with an ad! "Are you guys mentally ill? Do you like retarded, stupid shjt? Do you like dankness? Then download Dank-o-meter on the appstore/Google play store! (Please dont. It's shjt. My friends and I made it in an hour while drunk)"
@Dex the Lumberjack, if you were a real friend, you would have typed the entire book out here in the comment section for us to read. Guess you are not a true member if this community. So sad.
@Dex the Lumberjack, good for you man; I hope the book does awesomely! I've self-advertised a few times, so theres no shame in it.
@Dex the Lumberjack, okay so I looked it up, and it actually looks pretty interesting. I think I'll give it a shot for you, but could you give me a little synopsis here so I understand what ill be reading?
@Dex the Lumberjack, good luck! And congratulations on finishing your book, by itself that is an awesome achievement
@Dex the Lumberjack, I'm sorry I can't read it right now, as I'm currently reading ASoIaF, but when I'm finished with those I'll be sure to check it out
@PickUpDaSope, thanks! okay, so there's a long version and a short version, but I guess the short version is that the universe was created into 11 "realms" out of "Oblivion" and ours is the biggest. There is an Ancient Greek prophet named Xeno who they make immortal into a "Lord" and he gets infected by "the Virus" (which is the main antagonistic thing across the series). Xeno becomes a tyrant, takes over the Kingdom, and has a bunch of kids called "Si" (there are two languages: the Ancient Tongue and Si-Rô-Mān, the latter has a basic translation guide in the back). These Si have special powers based on which Realm they're born in. Our realm (the Multirealm) has Master Si because they have all the powers (our realm is where every other realm kind of converges I guess you could say). Skip to like 30 AD-ish, and you introduce Mark Williamson and his brother Bill (who is really in this book solely for one liners, but has a bigger role in later books). Mark is a Master Si and is the...
@Dex the Lumberjack, "pure blood" of Xeno. Basically, it follows Mark as he infiltrated Xeno's empire and takes it down, restoring order under the Creator.
@FuccanA, luckily I didn't. Thanks
@Royal Vizier Nappa, lol that's fine. I appreciate you checking it out. Good luck with your book.
@Smo Queed, I hope so too, thanks!
@Charlemagne, lol thanks, but I'm definitely interested in this app now.
@Let go of my eggo, hmmm, that's an idea... I'm sure it's totally safe and no one would dare copy it.
@MickelPickel, thanks man! Good to know I'm not alone
@Hot Coffee, thanks! But yeah, I've spent the past week straight editing it. The sequel has been slow-in-coming too.
@Jebodeiasque, thanks, but take your time; it's not going anywhere.
@Dex the Lumberjack, how 'bout an excerpt? Give us a taste.
@Dex the Lumberjack, sounds like something I could enjoy for sure. I worked at Barnes and noble and I grew to really hate how 95% percent of all books are just pumped out with generic ideas and sloppily written plots by companies and then get a new York time best seller stickers and are complete trash. Your book sounds wonderfully original.
@Dex the Lumberjack, say something again in 3 or 4 days. I think there is a lot of up and coming people on here and their to afraid to say anything and if they do they don't want to say who they are in fear of backlash.
@FuccanA, thanks. I'll keep that in mind
@PickUpDaSope, yeah, I totally got you, thanks. The idea has been in the works for a while, a lot of stuff kind of being poured on from all these different influence until it boiled down nicely into something unique.
@Let go of my eggo, I'd actually consider that. Hold on
@Charlemagne, too late
@Dex the Lumberjack, I guess this introduces the universe rather than the plot, but this is the first bit:
Darkness, nothingness, emptiness– Oblivion. Oblivion destroys all that enters it; it is, like all things, in a constant desire to reach equilibrium. But Oblivion is not something, it is not anything, it is nothing, pure emptiness.
But seven eons ago, a light sparked within Oblivion. Out of this light walked a cloaked, shadowed figure. He swatted away the darkness as Oblivion tried to swallow him with its oozing, grasping tentacles of nothing."
@Cynical Pancakes, Your loss my friend
@Dex the Lumberjack, damnit, now I have to read a new book.
@Dex the Lumberjack, I've got to say, your name is pretty dank (according to Charlemagne's app), Mr. 16th president.
@Dex the Lumberjack, For your next book you should give FunnyPics a thank you page 👍🏿
@Dex the Lumberjack, if this was something previously published on watt pad then I think I've seen your book around!
@The Nopemeister, ....
@Gerggle, I'll definitely make sure I give a shout out in the acknowledgements
@Charlemagne, but yeah, I'm probably definitely gonna check it out. I love the concept and originality. Is there an eBooks version, though?
@oh deer, no, I'm pretty sure I've never used watt pad, which concerns me, because what did you read that would remind you of my book? 😬
@Dex the Lumberjack, I actually was looking for a new book to read so I will be ordering this soon 🤙🏽 and if I come across you on FP again I will give you my honest opinion
@Dex the Lumberjack, I've in the long process of creating my own world and while it'll take years to complete since I don't have time, for some damn reason you gave me inspiration that regular people can still shoot out good books (I'm assuming yours is good)
@Gerggle, awesome. I really appreciate the support and I'd definitely be interested to know what you think
@Basil Fawlty, well I hope mine is good. I'm glad I could be of assistance and good luck with your own ventures
@Dex the Lumberjack, just a quick suggestion. If you want people to support you, don't be so obviously biased in your politics.
@Dex the Lumberjack, Abe, my good friend. I have officially purchased your novel and am excited to read it. I'm a sucker for fantasy, and this new and original story has caught my attention. So you can count me in as a supporter. That being said, I do have one criticism. Not of the writing of course - all I've had to read was that excerpt - but of the cover. Not to be the biggest dick to ever walk the face of the earth, but the cover is not entirely eye catching. So I have a proposition. I would like to take a stab at making you a new cover, if you would let me. It would be free of charge of course, so you wouldn't have to worry about paying me. I just thought it would be a fun project for myself and a good way to entertain my consistently bored mind for a day or so. What do you say friend? Wanna let me make you a thing?
@big freedom, well I'm a government major, sooooooooo. And what do politics matter, anyone can appreciate a good book
@Dex the Lumberjack, at least I think it's good
@Irrelevance , yeah, definitely, I'm all game — I suck at graphic design.
@Dex the Lumberjack, well you're biased and unwilling to listen to different opinions. It matters because you make people like me not want to buy your book because you look down on anyone who doesn't agree with you.
Don't surround yourself with like minded people and live in a bubble. This is what the media and Hollywood have done, and why they misunderstood the election so completely.
@Dex the Lumberjack, Fantastic. Sadly there isn't a personal messaging system on Funny Pics so I'll have to put some means of contact in the comments. Do you by chance have a twitter?
@big freedom, Wow, your even more of a dick than I am.
@Irrelevance , yeah I do. It's @ivorybloodsh3d
@big freedom, cool dude. I'm can't say I'm happy you aren't supporting me, but it really doesn't matter all that much. Also, I grew up in Georgia, so it's not like I lived in a bubble
@Dex the Lumberjack, Brilliant. I will message you as soon as I am back home from work. At that point we can discuss the nitty gritty and get you a new and shiny book cover.
@Irrelevance , not trying to be a dick. Sincerely want to help.
@big freedom, I appreciate that your trying to help, and telling some one that they should surround themselves with a variety of opinions is fine in my book (variety is the spice of life after all) but funny pics is not the place for political discussion. I totally agree that people should be open to many different and diverse ideas, but telling someone that they're book is less desirable because of their political stance on a meme app is so incredibly dull.
@Irrelevance , you're*
@Irrelevance , /funny pics is not the place for a political discussion/
That's what I'm saying. He puts people down for their political views, refuses to see things from another perspective. This is fine to do of course, but makes some of us not very inclined to check out his book.
I would definitely check out another funny pics user's book and be glad to do so. I'm just less inclined for someone who's political views are so outspoken.
@Dex the Lumberjack, instantly interested
@Dex the Lumberjack, Definitely gonna check it out; however, when I see "Nightstalker" in a title, I immediately think "Richard Ramirez", which immediately piqued my interest initially because I'm a horror type of gal. I'm not much into sci-fi or fantasy, but I'll give it a shot. :)
@big freedom, I do apologize if I come off rude or what have you, not my intention. I've just been very passionate about politics my whole life, so I can get a little heated at times.
@Polaroid, I'm glad, hope you give it a shot. Thanks
@SCBeauty, lol yeah, I came up with the name and looked it up a couple months later and was like "serial killer, gotcha." In all fairness though, he was originally an assassin when I first created the character. But like actually, thanks
@Dex the Lumberjack, oh I get it for sure! I'm not saying that you shouldn't be passionate, I know that I am and also quite biased. Just put yourself in others shoes. Would you want to go to a concert for instance and listen to a hard core right-winger spouting their political views? Even if you love the music it becomes tiresome, especially for those of us that are not "progressives". I am very 'liberal' at least in the classical sense of the word. I'm just so sick of the 1 sided narrative the moron talking heads all parrot on the idiot tube.
Sorry if I come off as obnoxious I really did mean to be helpful.
Well she's a dude too, so....
She's a guy, so...
Hey guys, I finally made an account! I know a lot of people say this, but this community has helped me through a lot of hard times. Even when I couldn't communicate with you guys, I still felt like I was part of a community. I just wanted to thank all of you for being awesome and making me laugh even when things weren't all that great. Thank you and keep being yourselves! Unless you suck, in which case maybe don't. Or do, I'm not your boss.
@Nitr0Nerd, do I suck? I don't want to suck D: now I'm scared if I suck D: joking haha, welcome!
@Nitr0Nerd, fine then, I'll keep on sucking
She also offered to blow everyone who voted Hillary.......#stillwaiting
@MasterCylinder, yeah, that was why I didn't vote for Hillary. Well, that she the the negligent handling of classified materials, ignoring Americans fighting for their life, her stance on late term abortion, her constant flip flipping and pandering, her health issues, her destruction of evidence in a federal investigation, her blind eye to Bill's sexual adults and help in the cover up, her laughing about getting a child rapist off charges, the horrible way she treats people that work for her, her poor economic policies, her support of BLM... But mostly because I didn't want a BJ from Grandma Madonna.
I need to hang out with Madonna.
Is there a way to change my profile pic to a picture other than what is offered on the setting?
@HSRunner, yeah it's called "gravatars". Just look that up, sign in, then you can upload whatever