It's an older joke but it checks out.
@Eldsmidur, as an atheist this isn't remotely funny not because I'm offended it's just simply not funny
@eleven, it's like the Christians that love to say there's no Atheists in a foxhole.
@eleven, I found it hilarious
@Eldsmidur, never heard that expression what does it mean
@eleven, a foxhole is what soldiers would hide in during war, usually while being shot at. It means that when people are facing death they get religious and start praying, like the atheist in the story.
@Eldsmidur, oh well they can't comprehend the idea that we have no one to ask for safety see my reply to box of cats as well
@eleven, yeah everytime I heard someone say that I would just chuckle and walk away.
@Eldsmidur, what choice do we have either that or waste our time debating people who believe in fairy tales
@eleven, there's no debating with them. Those kind of people usually have the belief that their religion is right and everyone else is wrong and they have to convert everyone to their beliefs, I guess to get the high score of something.
@Eldsmidur, It's unfortunate that they can't see the truth that's right in front of their face. If spent more than a second thinking about it, they'd realize that the afterlife would be hell because although human desire is infinite our imaginations are not.
@eleven, the real question is why does anyone give a rats ass what someone else does or does not believe.
@Caine, because what you people believe is inherently foolish with no evidence on your side yet you expect arguments like you can't prove he doesn't exist to hold any water faith healing is idiotic and harmful and killing is just as stupid
@eleven, lol "you people" like you know what i believe or don't believe.
@Caine, most atheists have pretty thick skin you seem easily offended
@eleven, im offended?
@eleven, was just curious about an argument that tbh is irrelevant. Like who really has time to worry about what happens when you die, but thats just me.
If thats offended to you lol then you hang around pussies.
@Caine, I don't hang around anyone due to my asbergers mentally I developed normally however my emotions are fairly numb due to that I am bad at judging emotions
@Caine, I honestly don't care what another person believes. It only becomes a problem for me when they start telling me I'm going to hell unless I believe the same as they do.
@NightShift Janitor, It's raining men!
I mean, hey said "oh my god", not "oh, god, please help me."
jut a couple things "Oh my god" is simply an exclamation and athiests don't actively believe gods don't exist they just don't believe they do (there's a distinction to be made) we don't preach the non existence we just don't believe
@Box of Cats, eh I've seen a couple atheists that I don't agree with. I'm a fellow atheist but I've seen some others preach as a non believer, and I can say it wasn't in a good way either. Both sides have their own crazies.
@Box of Cats, The more angry ones do say that gods don't exist. But they're usually the ones that were raised religious and just fell out of the belief, or are fresh out of middle school.
I went through that phase.
@Box of Cats, we say these things because cursing is filled with religious sentiment the non-religious words are often times too weak or too strong
@Box of Cats, Atheism or anti-theism as the a before a word denotes - is the rejection of the belief that any deities exist. To NOT believe they exist, is to believe they DONT exist.
What you're improperly alluding to is agnosticism.
... and while the bear was praying, the atheist drove a sharp branch through the bears heart, which, to the atheist's sudden surprise was not a bear at all, but a furry costume which was a rental and needed to be returned.
"Sheeit! It's all dirty now and has a hole in it. Man, that kick-asss weed was some strong sheeit! Too bad this god character didnt exist or else we'd have to thank him for good weed! Good weed and bitches! And slaves! Oh... I mean.. Indentured servants...."
And that, the atheist packed up his 15 inch cock (as all atheist are wont to do) back into his pants, and the realized that the costume was not a costume at all; he had just screwed a bear to death!
Bear immediately goes to hell for killing.
@sr2029, no, no it doesn't. "Killing" and "murder" are two different things. We "kill" in war. Most of our men in uniform self-identify as Christians, but they carry a gun and "kill" to protect our (and yours included) civil rights. Murder is the act of meaninglessly taking lives. By your logic, killing a cow to feed is killing. That bear is not killing to cause harm or for some sick need, its killing to feed. Whether you slaughter the cow, pig, or chicken or buy them prepackaged at the store, consuming the flesh of that animal is the same as taking its life, and there is nothing wrong with that. Killing for pleasure, is wrong. Killing to fill your belly (as long as you're not cannibal), is not wrong. Sorry about the rant, but I dislike it when people try to twist and skew words or phrases to fit their own agenda.
@Spadez7, "thou shall not kill" not murder. You think God would be precise on its wording. I actually know a lot of southern rednecks who kill for fun and then sell the deer for profit. Does that mean they are going to hell?
@sr2029, god also says "thou shall not suffer a witch to live" and things about men laying with beasts being put to death. So god says not to do it, but then gives a few examples of when we can.
@sr2029, it is not to kill, however in the context of unlawful killing
@Tentastic, So where is the line of unlawful killing vs lawful killing? Is that in the bible somewhere? Genuinely asking.
@Spadez7, also by my definition, vegans go to hell for killing plants that they eat.
@sr2029, different translations of the Bible have "thou shalt not kill", someone correct me if I'm wrong I think it's the King James version, but the KJ version isn't very well translated, and it's been edited more precisely in the New King James version to say more properly "thou shalt not murder". Again someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that this is correct
@sr2029, vegans do go to hell, for being vegan.
@GuitarKingX, the Bible has been translated from at least 2 languages to get to English. Also it was all copied by hand, so who's to say some bad handwriting or a troll monk didn't add a few lines or change something.
@sr2029, also you can make arguments for killing animals for fun being wrong, they might not "go to hell" for it, because they didn't realize it's wrong (if it is wrong), the problem is we don't know how God (assuming he is real and we're talking about Christian God) judges us if we do things that are wrong that we wouldn't obviously know is wrong
@GuitarKingX, depending on which version of Christianity depends on what's a sin. My sister had a friend growing up that could wear jeans because they said it was a sin for girls. I think baptists view dancing as a sin.
@Eldsmidur, because we have many books of the Bible (for example the dead sea scrolls) that we can translate again to see if it's accurate. Granted you can make arguments whether certain books should be in the Bible, whether u take some parts literally, and if we don't have an original old book what if it's translated properly. I don't have the answers to all of it, I'm doing my own research currently on stuff like this, maybe someone else has a better answer
@GuitarKingX, I rememebr reading an article about the book of Judas when they first started translating it, and I think it should've been put in the Bible.
@Eldsmidur, true, Im really open to the idea that culture can influence how we treat the Bible, and it makes me sad when we use the Bible to answer things that are really just subjective to you, it's up to the individual to first figure out if they think God (or another God, gods, or spirituality) exists, then decide what version makes most sense to you, personally because so many different versions of Christianity exist, I can't imagine God saying only one is right, all others don't go to heaven, as long as your intentions are good, your open to being corrected, and your willing to learn more about your religion, you'll be better off than most people I know
@GuitarKingX, you are correct.
@Eldsmidur, you are correct as well.
@Eldsmidur, interesting, I didn't know there was a book of Judas, I'll look into it, btw thanks for not being a troll, you've inspired me to keep researching (I have been procrastinating) some more about religion, if you or anyone else feels like having a friendly debate, just yell my name and I'll come running! I have to go my friend, bye
@GuitarKingX, I wish more people would try to understand different religions. There's too much fighting of one group saying they're right over another group.
@GuitarKingX, I try to live and let live and have civil conversations about things. You should look into it. Apparently Judas wrote about Jesus telling him that he had to betray him and would be hated but would be the only apostle to get into heaven.
@Eldsmidur, exactly, we should be debating, not fighting ! If there was more love, and less hate, we might just understand each other more
@GuitarKingX, maybe it's where I live, but christians around here just seem crazy to me. Healing others in the middle of a grocery store, saying Obama / Trump was put in office by God as a punishment, microchipping your animal as the sign of the devil, but cheating on your significant other is ok. I see this a lot. I can't be part of something like that. It doesn't make any sense to me.
@sr2029, I avoid all organized religions. It seems even when they start with good intentions, too many people in a group start having crazy ideas.
@sr2029, the bible has gone through many translations, and was written long ago. Who knows if the exact wording matches the original.
@GuitarKingX, if you sin unknowingly you aren't held accountable. Like for example if you ate food blessed by one of the roman gods and you didn't know that it was it isn't held against you. It is if you knowingly do it.
@Eldsmidur, lol. It breaks my heart to see things like that. Honestly ignorance kills just like it births crap like that. As a Christian it makes me want to weep when my brothers and sisters do that. We are called to make the world a better place as well as better ourselves. Things like that only hinder people and turn people away from God and that is heartbreaking.
@sr2029, it's where you live. Honestly my worst experience with people was within a youth group. Threatened my life among other things. We left that church and we haven't gone back. The one I'm at now practically sings to my heart while I'm there. So many kind and smiling faces when I'm there. We have a charity event almost every month like giving gift boxes full of necessities and toys to the families with a parent incarcerated. Or sending supplies to those in the Middle East. It's not bad everywhere, so don't let a group of people dominate your view on all of them.
@Gubbins, we can't always get the exact wording but the variations are actually quite few and most are like the difference between "over there" and "it was there". The way we make sure it's right is by checking different copies, from different parts of the world, side by side. It's how we know what's real and what isn't. Like "the book of Philip" it only had one copy and it didn't match with the other books.
@Eldsmidur, a lot of sin you just mentioned is due to religion, the way of men, not God. I hate religion, but I do believe in God. Men twist God's word into their own benefit, when God wants us to be fruitful, live, and love
@Eldsmidur, if "thou shall not suffer a witch to live", then why do people say that the bible doesn't support homosexuality? Not too be a smartasz but some of the stuff seems to contradict itself.
@Osama bin Dead, just to make sure I know what you're saying, you're saying you believe in a higher monotheistic power just with no formal dogma?
@Dr Kriegerstein, kind of, I believe in God, saved by Christ, but I separate myself from religion. Faith is manipulated by men for their own selfishness, which creates religion. I believe in love, goodness, prosperity and peace, what God really wants. Sorry if my wording is not up to par, I just don't have the time to write out well constructed paragraphs on funnypics. I do hope this answered your question, to the best of my ability
@Osama bin Dead, no it was perfect. Just wanted to be sure. We have some very similar views, however for me it's just without the religious aspect. Just with all the teachings of all the religions, I just couldn't get behind any of them
@Dr Kriegerstein, i absolutely understand your perspective. Glad I could explain mine clear and concisely as possible. One other thing I believe, is that I am going to love the non-believer just as much as I love one who shares my same faith, just as God wants us to.
@Osama bin Dead, I really appreciate that, wish we could all have provactive conversations more often with one another such as this, and I wish I could more often. It just seems that arguments or just not being able to find people who like to talk about these things always seem to come in the way. As long as we remember to respect each others religious views I'm sure we'll all live in a bit better place.
@Dr Kriegerstein, you are absolutely correct, and I agree with you completely. If we could wash out hate and just love one another, and humble ourselves to such an extent, there would be peace between men. We are taught by God to use our minds and heart, to care for one another, no matter the costs. It was good exchanging beliefs, really does give me more insight
@Osama bin Dead, it was good to exchange beliefs with you too. Hopefully we'll see each other in the comments again!
@Dr Kriegerstein, looking forwards to it!
@Osama bin Dead, I too believe in God but avoid organized religions. I may be remembering it wrong but I thought in the book of Judas they found Jesus told Judas that Peters church would corrupt his teachings and men would come to do evil in his name.
@Eldsmidur, plus, animals were placed on this earth to feed us
@Petersquatch, unless you really believe the Bible about banning shellfish, pork, and cloven footed animals. I think if God did say that at the time it was for our safety because we didn't understand food safety and hygiene at the time.
@sr2029, so i looked into this my self and while it says your not supposed to kill, it does say that if you were to strike a theif in the night and it kills him ( if you defend your self and end up killing someone) as long as you don't let the body be on your lawn after the next morning, (just leave a dead body on your lawn and not tell anyone like authorities) it isn't bad. But if you just kill someone and let them rot on your lawn then thats bad.
@Eldsmidur, no, in my religion (yes we are Christian) we are told to eat meat sparingly, as it is for times of winter. I only kinda listen, I'm almost a carnivore 😁
@Petersquatch, I had a Muslim friend in highschool that ate pork one day. I told him it was pork before he ate it but he didn't beleive me because he said the staff knew he was a Muslim and couldn't eat pork. He took a bite realized it must've been pork becuase it was a taste he never had before. Then he shrugged and said "Allah's must want all the pork for himself. "
@Eldsmidur, yeah, BACON IS LIFE
and pork chops and all pig meat
@Petersquatch, that's what he said after that. He still did everything else required of his faith, but he started eating pork all the time.
@Spadez7, I agree with most of what you said. But to say that eating a piece of meat purchased from a grocery store is the same as killing that animal is ignorance. Do you have any idea how many pieces of beef are produced from a single cow? You're saying that every one of the hundred or so people that eat a small piece are all responsible for the killing?
There is a difference between being a consumer and being a killer. A substantial difference. Driving an industry by being a customer is not the same thing as running that industry.
As an atheist I would state, "I said 'oh my god' as an exclamation, not actually calling out to you" (i do this) then I would proceed to recite the entire 'Doctor Seuss I don't give a fvck!' poem from the previous meme.
@TheColossalTitan, Edge-E. Man, you must feel really rebellious when you don't go with your parents to church on Sunday. Living on the edge.
@Kekistan Ambassador, Hahahaha that's cute, but sorry friendo. I haven't gone anywhere with my parents in at least 10 years. That's the cool thing about being an adult. You don't have to care. And now refer back to that previous meme for how I feel about your comment.
@TheColossalTitan, Sure sure. Tell me about your fantasies about living in a penthouse in New York and being the US Military's top sniper with 300 confirmed kills. Because anything said on the internet must be true
@Kekistan Ambassador, Everything said on the internet ISN'T TRUE?!? And for your information I am currently living in a shoebox in an alley stealing wifi from the Krispy Kreme next door. I am a 2'9" gay neanderthal hermaphrodite with a penchant for murder and jaywalking.
yes your medieval religion is proven true by this joke. even wild animals are really Christian. NOT
@hawaiitude, You should have at least dusted that "NOT" joke before using it. That thing hasn't been touched in years.
I would have just shouted FVCK so yeah
As an atheist- lol