I let the dog out 10 times a day; dog does nothing.
I forget to do it once; dog shïts all over the floor.
@SurgeonSean, oh that's because I prefers to shjt in the floor.
@SurgeonSean, that's what you get for having a floor
Lol dad! Oh wait, I'm not on facebook.
I never answer calls. If it's important and not advertising or scammers, they will leave a message.
HA! Joke's on you, cause nobody calls me either way
I actually really like it when no one calls me.
Stop using exclamation points for memes
People only ever phone me while im driving
Accidentally leave it on loud, in the middle of an exam.."I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!"