I didn't die from a completely preventable disease because my parents got me my vaccines!
@Coozination, oh snap!
@Coozination, didn't get polio today! So lit!
“I didn’t read anything annoying on the internet today.”
@SurgeonSean, god fvcking dammit you just had to go and comment today didn’t you :c
@SurgeonSean, PLEASE LET ME JOIN YOU IN PARADISE
I was able to afford gas
I didn’t die of an OCD attack even though they skipped the 18th century!
"I need a safe space"
Personally, I’d go with “I actually found a job relevant to my degree!”
Peanuts kid: “I got a rock”
@Just Kraze, it's Charlie Brown, you uncultured swine!