I'm one of a very small group of women who actually say what is bothering me.
Imagine my complete and utter shock when my guy listened and reacted accordingly!!!
@Waithuh, I know right?! It's some crazy science thing where when you speak about what's on your mind, people listen
@Waithuh, to be fair... we usually aren’t ignoring you... we are just in very deep thought. Example: Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat?
@Waithuh, I usually have a nasty habit of not wanting to “bother” him, and accidentally bottle emotions. Any advice?
@Shazamanite, is he open to talking? If it's about him start with "when (x) happens, it makes me feel (insert here. Angry, sad, happy)"
If you're going thru something and need comfort or advice go with "(x) happened today and it upset me. I need (hug, listening ear, etc)
@Waithuh, yeah we both like to talk, I just have a default setting of “it’s so small, don’t bother him with it” leftover from growing up an only child. I’ll try to remember that conversational template, though. Even if I use it to death, communication is more important!
@Shazamanite, I liken bottling up like a pressure cooker: if you don't vent every now and then, you'll explode and everyone will wonder why you went nuts!
@Waithuh, too true! Going to invest in a punching bag soon!
I really don't understand why more people do not use their words. Communication and talking things out are so crucial for a successful relationship of any kind.
A lot of men don't communicate either.. why is that? I know we women are normally more verbal in general. It's like men don't want to show ANY emotion. Like they have to be stoic All. The. Time.
@Waithuh, some might call it toxic masculinity, I'd call it toxic society. We need to have better sex ed, read more books and have better talks with our parents about sexuality, as kids.
@Waithuh, Except anger. Anger is the only "manly" emotion, so they don't seem to mind that one.
Agree. But women are actually a little insane, and sometimes, I swear to god, we don't even know why we're upset
@Tinkledink, takes guts to admit that
@megamanx181x Its just self awareness, really. A little "YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, BUT I WANT YOU TO FVCK OFF NOW, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY" has stopped countless arguments between myself and my man, who's happy as long as he knows he's in the clear and I still love him. Anyone who blames a hormonal mood swing on anything except their own brain shouldn't be surprised when their relationships crumble as a result.
@Tinkledink, I don’t think that’s unique to women. Sometimes I’m just randomly irked or depressed, and I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll stop telling my family, because regardless of how many times I tell them I don’t know why I’m upset, they’ll just keep praying.
“Aww, why are you down?”
“I just am. Leave it be.”
It actually ticks me off more when they won’t just friggin listen. So I usually end up walking away.
@I Are Lebo, I feel that. Depression is genderless, and unless you've truly experienced it, it's hard to understand. My mother was the same way. I know she's doing it because it hurts her to know that I'm unhappy, and she wants to fix it. But fvck, she just can't, and that's an impossible concept for your loved ones to wrap their heads around.
@Tinkledink, it’s quite aggravating. I’ve flat out told them “if I’m being upset by something specific, I’ll talk to you about it. If there’s something you can do, I’ll ask you.”
So now when I get down, I don’t spend any time with them, which often makes it worse.
@Tinkledink, very very good advice to know!
Never has a woman ever done this. Because if you cared about her you should know what's wrong!
@Freeman, if you really love a woman you should be able to read her mind. Also if you cheat on her in her dreams you're a piece of shjt.
@Polaroid, if you’re a man and you can’t read a woman’s mind you are a piece of human garbage.
Communication unites the world!
@Luxanna Crownguard, and also circle jerks.
BRO. Sometimes we know we're overreacting or getting upset over something silly, we just want time to calm down without being bothered. Imagine that!
“I think a lot of problems people have in relationships are with communication, because guys don't know what women are thinking. And with Jewish women, you do not have to guess what they are thinking. They will tell you. ... I dated this girl, she'd just stare out the window all day long.
And I'd be like, "What's wrong?"
She'd be like, "You wouldn't even understand if I told you." What the f*ck am I supposed to do with that? My Jewish girlfriend, I don't have to guess what's wrong. She comes in the room and she's like "My stomach hurts!" Then we can move on from there”
"Memes made by single, virgin teens"
I find the whole "joke" about women hiding their problems or not saying what is wrong really childish and stupid. I know they hurt the perception of a relationship, when children see them, as I am now struggling to get a grasp on what a relationship is, because of all the lies I was told the past four years on the internet. We all know porn is fake, but the sex is not fake. Those people are actually having sex, but how do I know where the fake part lies, when I have no experience. It was some very confusing 10 first times and I've come to the conclusion that relationships take lifetimes to understand and that we can only try to prevent bad experiences in the future, by learning from our past bad experiences. Sorry, I went off on a cliche.
@Awesome Naked Taco, it would probably help if there wasn’t such social stigma to teaching your children about sexuality.
@I Are Lebo, The coolest people I know, have an open mind, especially to sex. Unfortunately I somewhat narrow-minded, so I'll have to rely on being nice only when its necessary.
@Awesome Naked Taco, Exactly. My 10yr old sister asked me what an orgasm was, and my 20yr old sis said she didn't need to know that. No, I told her exactly what it was, and that its why most people have sex (not to reproduce, which is a side effect in these modern times). Misinforming children about something as serious as sex can produce disastrous and life changing outcomes. Just talk to your kids people; it's not that hard.
@Tinkledink, just commenting to applaud your reaction