Water beds are helpful when your partner doesn’t move during sexy times.
@Kamitha, because they’re either drugged or dead?
Looks like I need a waterbed
@Kamitha, someone once told me that white girls don't move in bed and I still feel the insult.
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, I always pegged you as a waifu pillow kind of guy, but what you said works too.
Bonus: Waterbeds make for easy cleanup!
@Bluemama, Damn that’s mean. I hope you taught them a vigorous lesson.
@Kamitha, Have you ever had sex on a water bed? Because my experience is 100% the opposite.
@Barry Dylan, No I haven’t actually. So I think that you should describe it in great detail.
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, Man, do you have a bad taste. All the fun goes away once they stop screaming. Paralyzed people are my goto
@Barry Dylan, I strongly agree. I bet you have a story or two to share. My pants are already off so get going?
@Kamitha, you generally have to stay in rhythm with the water or it makes it awkward, but not in a kinky this is our first time and we don't know what we're doing kind of way, it just throws the while thing off.
@Kamitha, I am far from inexperienced, but never really regretted any sex. The exception to the rule was my night with two ladies on a water bed. It is important to mention I never orgasm, just plain don't. So I stayed the night with these two girls that were best friends, and the were both really into me. Even though I just wanted to play video games with a friend I don't get to see very often. However I am not sharing a bed with him so I crashed on the waterbed with them. It was decent to lay on, however 30 minutes into the night the blonde starts giving me head. And the brunette starts kissing me. It was pretty dark, and I am more of a lights on person so I think I grabbed a boob of the brunette. But after about 5 minutes of that I am harder than the water level in Ocarina of Time. So I flipped the blonde girl around and ate her out a little bit while the brunette blew me. All the while trying to balance on the slipperiest sheets ever. I fell down and smacked the brunette.
@Awesome Naked Taco, (Continued) in the face, twice. The second time gave her a bloody nose. So she ran off to the bathroom. She stopped the bleeding and told us to get back to it, she called it a night. So I slip a condom on and try to slip into the blonde (who is 4'11") but can't find a comfortable position because she is short and we keep slipping around. So I rip the sheet off of the plastic bag that holds the water, and it rips every leg hair out, so I try to get going again but I am in so much pain, that I stop hop off the water bed. And pull her over the edge of the bed. I finally get it going and I realize, she is completely off key. Every thrust in, she pulls away. It isn't actually her though, it is the water bed. Every thrust causes the bed to thrust back 75% slower. It doesn't line up. At this point I am no longer hard, and decided to eat her out. My dick hurt, my neck hurt, and I now had hairless legs.
@Barry Dylan, Wow. I asked for it. *sweats* I had no idea you would actually do it.
@Kamitha, Moral of the story, waterbeds are for 13 year olds and under. When the sexy times commence, you are better on the floor.
@Barry Dylan, Hey, now floor sex is something I understand.
@PussyPussyPussyPussy, You changed your name. Why?
@Kamitha, for a little while for someone. My name is what I like to eat, drink, suck, and fvck.
@Kamitha, and I’ve been drinking a lot
@PussyPussyPussyPussy, Oh now I see! Sorry. I didn’t know you’d been imbibing of the liqueur.
@Kamitha, waifu pillows and liquor
@Barry Dylan, sexy... I was getting harder and harder, then softer and softer. How erotic
*Jaws theme starts playing*
Heated water beds are the shjt. comfortable as hell