Comments
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@Siska the Khajiit, Yup... Having a situation with my roommate. He’s loud—wakes me up every night and morning but texted me the 2 times I woke him up (I had to open the garage door to drive to class). I do my own dishes, and he claims I don’t help. I use like 4 per day. He uses 12. Getting super passive-aggressive messages for taking care of myself and not cleaning up after him. He doesn’t care enough to see how he affects others. He only wants it clean because he has Tinder dates come over every 3 days, which is also disturbing my studying...
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@Siska the Khajiit, right? And with that perspective it's a lot easier to de-personalize basically any "mean" behavior, because it's not actually directed at you specifically, but rather whatever role you might be fulfilling at that time, and since you're nothing more than a role to them, they need not be anything more than a role to you.
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@Siska the Khajiit, i would like to think this is true buuuut, i think its just the opposite. I think people rely too much on clarification/justification from others when in reality just like captain obvious said (now in my words) if you live for others and not yourself then you arent living you have to live for yourself because theres no one else in this world who is going to live for you. As morbid as it seems setting out to make yourself happy is entirely different than setting out to make others unhappy.
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@I Am Captain Obvious, true, though I suppose it depends on the motivation for the act. For example, if you're trying to get a new, higher-paying job because you wanna have more money for your hobbies, that'd be selfish, but if you're doing it so you can have more money to then spend it on others, I'd consider that selfless, or at least as close to selfless as a person can get while benefiting themselves simultaneously.
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@Doctor Yak, precisely. A "selfish decision" (one that progresses oneself alone) made in order to directly help others is by definition not selfish. But, what I'm talking about it making selfish decisions that put you in a position that when the time comes that you need to be able to help someone, there should be nothing preventing you from doing it. It's a catch 22 in way, you cant be either without being both
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@Doctor Yak, It can still be a selfish decision depending on the motivation and if it comes at the cost of others to get to that point. Even if your goal is to help others. Selflessness is the act of doing something at the cost of ones self, and without seeking recognition for the act. Its doing something because its the right thing to do. When you start to do things at the cost of others. Its no longer selflessness.
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@Seohn, I wouldn't say that selflessness is doing something at the cost of oneself, but rather without regard to oneself. However, I'm picking up what you're putting down, and agree that, in general if something comes at the cost of others it is selfish, because one's perspective is too narrow to include and account for the people that were hurt.
I personally believe that most of the time it’s neither malice nor ignorance that causes one harm, it’s simply the fact that most people are simply selfish and are indifferent to the plights of others. They didn’t want to hurt you, nor did they do it on accident, they would have done it whether it hurt you or not