Story time: Do you really want to know why the chicken crossed the road?The chicken was trying to kill itself after seeing all its friends, family, and even its significant other being killed one after another right in front of its eyes. Even its periods were not left to it and were taken to be eaten. It had nothing left. But the chicken was not weak. It tried to fight back as best it could. It pecked at the farmer's fingers every time it was fed. It poked holes in the bags of feed so the ravens could eat and piss off the farmer. It even tried to mimic its lost partner Chuck by screaming at the sun as soon as it came up to disturb the farmer. However, the farmer was not fazed. No, the farmer was more evil than the chicken could have ever imagined. The farmer brought in many new chickens and roosters and left for a while. Something about an "anniversary cruise with his wife" whatever that meant. For that amount of time, things were good. (part 2 below)
@Beggar Mugger, The chicken made new friends and even became interested in a new rooster who spoke in a Southern accent and said "I say" alot. The day the chicken planned on asking the rooster to become it's official partner, the farmer returned with thunderous slam of the coop door and the words that would haunt the chicken for the rest of its life : Man I sure feel like having fried chicken tonight! The ensuing carnage was almost biblical in its intensity. All of the chickens we're grabbed, some taken 3 at a time and ended right there. The worst however, was it's new mate. He was a real fighter, he never gave up even after the end. The farmer chopped his head off in one fell swoop but the chicken's brave, brave partner kept running around even without it's head in the hope that the chicken would be able to escape the same fate as him. As the chicken fled from the coop, it could hear the farmer's cruel laughter in response to her partner's sacrifice. (final part below)
@Beggar Mugger, By the time the chicken reached the road, it could still hear the farmer's laughter and see the images of all those it had lost both past and recent flash across its eyes. It saw a big metal beast hurtling towards it and knew what it must do. Now do you know why the chicken crossed the road? To get to the other side....
@Beggar Mugger, why was i expecting a locknes monster joke? But sill, cool story.
@The Flame War, how does one go from a chicken crossing the street to lock Ness monster?
@Beggar Mugger, life uhhh.... finds a way....
@The Flame War, clever girl
Basically like the Dems and republicans preaching how they will fix things if you're on their side
@TheSecretSavage, Because it distracts the chickens from the fact that the farmers are just raising them for their eggs, until it’s time to slaughter them? Yeah, that sounds about right, actually.