In undergrad, I had a friend who would come over after every group meal. Without fail, he would destroy a toilet. A plan formed: we ran into the house, taking over the bathrooms, and just chilled in there until he gave up and went home to poop.
@PBnJ, my brother, who is 30 and lives in a different state an hour away but works 15 minutes away from me, will sometimes stop by just to poop in my toilet. Should’ve never gave him a spare key. He has to cross a bridge and pay toll to poop at my house, but he still does it.
@Fatpossum, what kind of amazing tolit do you have?
It’s a women’s restroom isn’t it?
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, that's describing the pooper, not what comes out
Don’t poop shame me.
I'll poop wherever I damn well please
I worked at Guitar Center in Nashville a few years back and, we had a visiting general manager stop by. When I came back from lunch, I saw an employee angrily mopping the men’s bathroom floor with the door wide open. I asked him what had happened and he said, AND I QUOTE, “A human buffalo clogged the toilet and it overflowed!” As a good friend, I laughed at his misfortune and went on my way.
Well, the very next day the exact same thing happened! The same general manager was again in the store and, when I came back from lunch, the same employee was again angrily mopping the men’s bathroom floor!!! What the heck is going on? This is where the story gets interesting.
I go to my department laughing at the situation and I mention in passing that I can’t believe this happened both days that a general manager was in the store. That’s when I noticed the expressions and sideways glances on everyone’s faces. It took me a little prying but, here it is. (Continued on the reply)
@Unitard, On the very first day of that future general managers employment at GC he met his new manager. He puttered about for a while just getting his bearings. It wasn’t until a good long while later that the manager realized he hadn’t seen his new associate for a very, very long time. They thought he’d gotten lost but, they finally checked the bathroom and saw him face down on the floor in the stall. They couldn’t get him to answer so they called an ambulance! The paramedics arrived but the stall door was still locked. When they finally Jimmied the door open, the female paramedic screamed and instantly vomited!!!!!!! What in the world would make a paramedic vomit?!!!!!
He had passed a turd so massive that he passed out from the effort and fallen face forward onto the floor! (Continued On next reply)
(Now this is the only variance of the story, depending on who I talked to about it) The turd was so thick and long that it was still attached to him, UNBROKEN and draping over into the toilet OR, it was sticking up out of the toilet looking like the Titanic sinking!
As impressive as either of those possible variations were, neither is as impressive to me as that fact that after that epic first day, he actually came back for a second and, worked his way to become a general manager!!!!
One last note, the day he left, the mysterious human buffalo stopped visiting.