My advice: live the life you want to, fųck what people say, fųck what society thinks, fųck me and my advice even. Do what you want to do today because you might not be here tomorrow
So today I found out I might be on the spectrum, pretty frustrated and angry rn. Here at work taking a crap and just wanting to go home. My entire life I thought I was just intelligent and saw things differently from others, and that I just needed a special type of woman that's easy to understand, and that through time I can get over my obsessions, my anger, my addictions, etc. But turns out I might have always just been broken and never spoke enough to anyone that cared to be diagnosed at a proper age. I'm just so over it all, I don't feel comfortable with anyone in my life to speak about this, as an adult I have those that consider me a best friend but I feel like I'm a thousand miles away completely alone, and now idk if it's because noone cares about me or if because I can't feel cared about. My frustration is so strong I could vomit on the floor if I wanted too.
Sorry for the rant, just needed to vent.
@ Seductive Cheeto, no problem I hope you can get through what you going through
@ Seductive Cheeto, But are you really broken? Judging by the way you type, I would assume with my limited knowledge on the subject, you are high functioning. Most people with high functioning autism can live their life fine without any treatment, but may lack certain social skills. High functioning autism is nothing terrible, your different way of thinking can actually be an upside in your career because you provide an alternative most others would not have considered.
If there's something about yourself you cannot change, why not accept it and make the best of it?
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, however I have done a small bit of internet research on autism in the past.
@ Seductive Cheeto, I know this information is a shock to you and it may take some time to process, but in the end you can allow it to does you or you can use it to better understand yourself, your strengths, and your shortcomings. This knowledge doesn't change anything in your life. You still just need that special woman. You're still intelligent and see things differently than other people. You just now know why! Don't be discouraged and use this to improve your relationships through better understanding of what you need and others may need out of one. Also please don't consider yourself broken, everyone is different and has their own strengths and weaknesses so focus on your strengths and recognize your weaknesses for areas of improvement
@FunnyPicsHoldGuard, heard about you and your honeyed words...
@Empshok, hey! Thats my line!
@FunnyPicsHoldGuard, that's what you get for lollygagging.
@ Seductive Cheeto, whatever the diagnosis, you’re still you. Maybe it will help you move forward with thing you want!
@ Seductive Cheeto, same
@Ald0bii, do you undergo therapy? Cause there are a lot of behaviors that I have that I want to stop.
@ Seductive Cheeto, please know that we don’t consider you broken just because you’re on the spectrum, and you’re not destined to be alone just because of the way your brain works. Getting diagnosed is a step forward- now that the problem has a name, you can address it. I hope you get the care and support you need- at the very least, we’re here for you when you need to talk.
@ Seductive Cheeto, I went to a special class a while back and it did help me a bit about basic human interaction and decency but the rest you'll have to notice and teach yourself. There's also the fact that you have to be conscious about it all the time. I once let my guard down and I ended up shushing some stranger's baby that was crying and annoyed me. At the time I didn't realize that wasn't how you're supposed to act but it's hard since you really don't think you're doing anything wrong. Just think twice before you do something and eventually you'll be so used to it that you do it automatically. You end up looking like a slow person tho and people would think your dumb but just deal with it
Edit: Now that I'm reading this again I'm not sure if this is even helpful. Plus judging from your comment your habits don't seem too bad if you still can hold a decent conversation to have friends. What kind of habits are you talking about anyway?
@ Seductive Cheeto, I know the feeling... the day I found out I had ADHD, I felt awful. And when they talked about putting me on meds, i was pissed off. Like, in order for me to be "normal" i have to chemically change my brain's behavior?! Hell no!
But then I talked to a therapist, and she pointed something out to me. Everyone wants to be special. People like you and me actually are. So why do we feel ashamed? Because we see it as being "broken, abnormal", or "wrong". But if we're the main character of our story, that's our special quirk. The hero always sees the world differently, or has to fight their darker side more than other people. They're not normal, and that's their *character*. Just like dealing with our problems develops our own character.
If it really bothers you, go see a therapist, or take the meds. But make sure you do it because you want to, not because you *have* to.
@NeroSaber, I was gonna say to be contempt with being broken on my own comment but this is a way better and positive way to put it
@Ald0bii, It is, my problem is social cues. I'm usually able to handle a convo but sometimes I can take things a little too far with my humor or opinion, I can end up really offending people and one time ended up insulting a client at my job without thinking what I was saying (honestly I'm surprised that didn't get me fired.). I also have a problem romantically with women, like when having sex I tend to be rather commanding and also can't tell when they want me to hug them or kiss them so I can have awkward situations sometimes, and I really don't know when they're sad or mad so I come off as uncaring when I'm really just unaware. Realizing now why I'm like that and hearing it from your point of view does help me, thanks.
Also the whole friend and family thing, I tend to act just like a fun acquaintance since I'm not sure how they want me to act, and I've been told that some of my cousins disliked me when I was younger cause I seem fake.
@Ald0bii, problem is that I don't know how to act differently with an acquaintance and a close relationship other than a sexual one, I have a way I act with strangers (which I'm actually really paranoid of and secretly hostile if I'm alone) and a way I act with everyone else. Do you think I should make an effort to act differently with those close to me? And if so how? What can I do socially to make them feel like I care about them?
@ Seductive Cheeto, Lol, we're the same so it's obvious I don't know what to do and what others think either. This seems like the type of question you should ask to someone who knows how to be social. But what I've been doing is just being the same ol me but in addition to subtly looking out more for my friends. I sometimes complement them but only when I'm really honest about it. And when they do something I don't like I either point it out or ponder whether it's really that big of a deal. Basically think more about them and what they feel, if you're anything like me you aren't normally that empathetic so you have to learn to be more active with empathy
@ Seductive Cheeto, PT 1) my brother himself too recently found out he’s on the spectrum. Hes about to turn 19, I don’t know about your age but this is still pretty late than most. How he took it was different and he opened up to me directly as soon as he found out, so I hope maybe what he said/how he reacted could help out. He told me when he found out he felt relieved, it gave him an answer to questions he either didn’t know he had or ones he didn’t know how to ask. He believed that he was always a smart guy that didn’t fir properly but with this information it helped him know that he’s not alone, other people experience this too. At first I was shocked and skeptical, but it does make sense, but it doesn’t change how I feel about him or how I act towards him at all. He told his closest friends (some have known him for years and others that have recently met him) and when shown that he’s on the spectrum they just said “oh I can see that” and didn’t change a thing.
@ Seductive Cheeto, PT 2) Maybe it’s an age thing, but telling people when you’re older it doesn’t change much how other people treat you or view you besides having a label to attach to behaviors. Yet again this is anecdotal. My brother’s biggest issues are social cues, and it bugs him a lot because he’s a virgin that just wants to smash any girl with a heartbeat. I understand how he has issues with it, but we all lack things in some aspects of our lives. My brother has some crude humor and while it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, some people will find it funny, and it’s something you gotta enjoy yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate (as he calls it) when talking politics. The only thing is not to be stubborn (from what I’ve found it’s his stubbornness that makes it seem insensitive rather than anything else)
@ Seductive Cheeto, PT 3) My advice for the partner stuff, have an open line of communication. Ask them directly if there’s anything they need or you can give them. It will make sure you don’t come off as rude or that you don’t care and it’ll strengthen your relationship with them (serious or not). Oh yeah about the work thing, idk what to say really besides keep track of things that aren’t appropriate to say while at work? I’m sure your kind of work seems serious enough that it can be difficult at times not to joke around to let off stress though. As for behaving towards strangers, acquaintances and friends; it’s fine to feel paranoid about strangers. We all want to be safe and be careful with who we let close, some people more than others, but it’s fine as long as it isn’t taken to the extreme. As for acquaintances, be yourself and if they like you then they’ll become friends. As for friends, open up to them more and build more trust. That’s the biggest way to separate them.
@ Seductive Cheeto, @ Seductive Cheeto, If I may put my two cents in. I'm on the spectrum as well, and while it's not easy cuz you cant read certain social signals correctly or, in my case in particular, dont know when someone is being genuine, whether it be romantically or sarcastic, we're not necessarily broken. We just see things differently and in ways that people could not always think of. You are never truly alone even if when you feel it and lash out, people are there. When you dont see them, when you think they're only there because they want something from you. No bud, most of the time theyre there because they do actually care and want to help, we just cant see it because in a sense we're confused and scared. You'll work through it. And when you do, tell me how because I'm not even all the way there yet.
@ Seductive Cheeto, everyone else has covered all the bases at this point, but I just wanted to add that we love you, we care about you, and you’re important no matter what labels you may be given ❤️
Looks like both of them have their $hit together to me , just in different ways