Hey everyone I just want to say I love this community and everyone in it thank you guys for always being here for anyone in a time of need, seems it’s my turn to be in need. if anyone here is religious please send prayers my and my ladies way.
it seems like the spark has died in our relationship and it took me a month to realize it in her. I really do like her I want to spend the rest of my life with her she just says dates don’t feel the same like the excitement is gone but she’s agreed to give it a shot to get that spark back. I’m pretty much a mess because I feel like it’s my fault for not being there as much as I used to but that’s for sure going to change in the next couple days or weeks or however long it takes. We used to talk all the time and see each other all the time and now we barely see each other twice a week because of work and we barely talk anymore. I’m just hoping it goes well, I do love her.
Okay sorry guys I’ve said my piece thanks for reading if you got this far.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, I just really needed to tell someone I hope y’all understand.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, relationships are work. You've gotta find ways to keep the flame lit. Even just something simple as a cheap little bouquet of flowers just because or a foot massage for each other. Little things mean a lot.
@Marie Celeste, I know, this is just my first serious relationship in a couple years and I’m rusty af. it just hurts to know that this has happened without me noticing it. She got her eyebrows done today and didn’t even like show me and when I asked her about them she said “you wouldn’t have appreciated them if I showed you” and man that stuck me in the heart and that’s when I was like “what’s going on..? Like are we good..?”
@YourMomRidesMeGood, in times like these, small gestures can mean a lot. For instance, if you know you might not get to see her that night/morning, leave a little note where she'll find it saying "I love you" or something corny but sweet. Really small gestures can have big impacts when time becomes an issue.
Good luck my guy. Dont let this ruin your confidence going forward.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, I've lurked in this app for a few years and I rarely speak but, I've actually had something similar happen just recently. The spark I had for my boyfriend has slowly faded, I told him after holding that back because recently we had been more distant and not hanging out as much as we used to. But, after talking things out, he really thought I might be happier with someone else because he failed to notice these things. And as much as I do agree with that, I still wanted to spend my life with him and keep going. We both decided to give it another shot and try again to get that spark again. Hanging out more because we still do love each other. I hope things really work out for you and you find that spark again, I understand and I wish for the very best for you!
@YourMomRidesMeGood, did the spark die because my mom was riding you to good?
@YourMomRidesMeGood, I've been in this situation before and I have seen it a dozen times. I hate to say it but there's definitely another guy involved. Always trust your gut instincts. Your gut is always right.
@walse, I was thinking the same thing. It sounds like she’s talking to another guy and is subtly planting the seeds to break up by making it seem like it’s his fault.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, you love this community? That means you love the ladies and the guys in it.
You love guys?
( You didn't say "no homo" 😘)
@YourMomRidesMeGood, sometimes girls aren't right for us but we cling to them anyway.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, relationships change over time. A relationship isn’t based on the initial spark, its about how you keep the fire going. You have to keep adding wood, brush and more to keep it going. Then the elements will attack. Outside forces like wind and rain and you need to stay on top of it and keep the fire safe because when you forget or lose sight of the fire it will quickly dim and fade. That initial spark and wow of finding a fire will only last so long eventually it will die, seeing beauty in keeping the fire alive is what you need to be in a lasting healthy mutual beneficial relationship. Most importantly, it takes two to build and destroy a fire, in almost every case with the exception of someone cheating or being unfaithful. Good luck, the journey of a long term relationship is the hardest thing in life.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, hey it could be a blessing in disguise, even if it burns a lot right now. Sending you prayers to be able to handle whatever comes your way
@YourMomRidesMeGood, I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. I wish you the best. While no relationship is perfect, here’s some unasked for advice I’ve learned from mine.
Through our lives we all grow. If I met my wife in high school there is no way we would have ever gotten together. We each grew and happened to meet at a time when it could work. The trick then, is to recognize you’re both still growing. Communication and shared experience are key to make sure you grow in the same direction. Date nights are an obvious option but reading the same book, texting/leaving notes for each other works. my family only had one car and so we had to drive each other places. That car time was time to catch up with one another.
It seems like you’ve already got plans to work on this but remember, it’s a marathon not a sprint. One or two big gestures are nice but be prepared to have small improvements that you can maintain. Good luck to you both. We’re here with you. Not in the creepy way...
@YourMomRidesMeGood, similar situation here. My wife and i are were in counseling a year ago, then a month after buying a house she decided that the counselors were wrong and that ahe had no changes she needed to make. So the negative in me suggests caution... But the positive that i strive for wants to believe in love, so i do pray that everything works out for you.
@YourMomRidesMeGood, we broke up 2days later
@YourMomRidesMeGood, I know you didn't ask for advice but I would love to leave my piece. I always find whenever my wife and I get snippy and short with each other, it is almost always due to a lack of quality time together. I find the best immediate restoration is a bath together with a bottle of wine. No phones, no screens, just face to face time. It's always followed by other fun activities too.
But that only works temporarily. To truly belay that slow dimming of the spark, you need to actively share and experience each other's lives. I always find the ride to and from church every Sunday as amazing time to debrief our week. If you aren't into church, maybe Sunday brunch could be your thing? Or Friday night drinks. Whatever it is, you need at least once a week to sit and just chat without being on your phones or watching a screen. At least that's what has worked for us.
Good luck man.
Shjt, didn't read your comment about the breakup until after typing this out. That sucks man.
@Breast Day Ever, thanks for the comment man! It means a lot! But she felt we were delaying the inevitable and making things awkward, so she wanted to call it quits which I wholly understand. I’m actually the happiest I’ve been in a long time but it probably just hasn’t hit me yet.
Unfortunately we hadn’t moved in together yet and she has a 2y/o so we couldn’t do the ‘nights out’ as often as we liked and also couldn’t really do much without cutting our working hours down to 20hr/w to save our relationship. So I said okay if you want to end it that’s fine I understand blah blah blah all the mutual break up stuff. So overall it went good and I’m in a good mood, I just wish my friends would go out drinking with me to celebrate lmaooo.
I like to call this exercise ‘trying to manage my financial responsibilities’
That’s why you can’t catch a crack head
When you're trying to have a bowel movement and that guy keeps peeking through the crack in the stall door...*smh*
Mofos out training hard to dodge the draft 🤣😂
@DavidRomeroBruh, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge the draft.
@Sarcastic Wombat, listen up crotch stain
@DavidRomeroBruh, I know it's a meme but hopefully people understand there is no draft
@butternut squash, they can bring the draft back any day lol we live in a police state if u haven't realized
@DavidRomeroBruh, I don't
@butternut squash, u don't what?
@DavidRomeroBruh, I don't live in a police state, nor do many, that kind of totalitarian outlook is not adopted by many country's,
Plus I'm too old, wouldn't it be a twist of fate if they did draft and 80 percent of the millennials were gone and all that was left were boomers
@butternut squash, boomers time is almost up.
@DavidRomeroBruh, not if you get drafted lol, and I'm not a boomer
@butternut squash, wat r u gen y? Gen z? Gen x? Mill? I won't get drafted because my bank account is over drafted. Boo Yah!
I honestly just wanted to check out the man in the fronts meaty arse.
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I mean....it’s cardio I guess.