This is actually really helpful
@Captain Morgan, saving it for later
@Captain Morgan, men won't even ask for directions, let alone follow them. Besides I grill the steaks in my house. Very much like this. And no, my husband won't turn in his man card. He's an Army Major whose been deployed 3 times so don't even.
@ShadowofSnape, you took this wayyyyy to seriously
@Bluej, Dude, steak is serious.
@ShadowofSnape, I have voluntarily deployed for six and I still do these things. Just because he's an officer doesn't mean he can delegate everything down. I appreciate his his service as much as the next, but that doesn't mean I should stop cooking.
@City87, he was Enlisted for 12 years. We've never really lived an "Officer's" life. I just enjoy the hell out of grilling. And as for the delegating "down"- uh uh. Hell no. Without the support of his wife and kids, he wouldn't be as successful as he is. NEVER underestimate the sacrifices and hard work of a military family. I'm thankful he only has one Purple Heart, but he leaves again in July so just back off.
@ShadowofSnape, that is good. By no means do I mean any disrespect. I am proud of my fellow brother in arms and respect him as an officer. I have two Purple Hearts as well, one from receiving 5 fractures to my frontal lobe by a suicide bomber, losing all of my memory for awhile and another after being shot in the chest with a 7.62 caliber bullet, breaking 5 ribs, collapsing my right lung and filling with blood. I am glad that he wasn't injured too much and is still alive to praise his family. I was just joshing you about delegating down his responsibilities. As for letting people know to not mess with his prestige, for the most part these kids and young adults respect the military but I must warn you, there are dumbasses who think they deserve every right that they don't have the balls to fight for so just ignore them. Have a wonderful year and I pray for your husbands/my brothers safe return.
@ShadowofSnape, what would your husband think of you arguing about steak on the internet
@ShadowofSnape, you gotta learn to get over stuff
@Captain Morgan, do you even know the argument your five words created? It brought discourse to the army..
@ShadowofSnape, someone's grumpy
@City87, thank you. What you said about them is so true. I'll think of you often and hope your pain isn't too bad. My husband was electrocuted in Mosul (during the double Black Hawk crash) when he ran into a pool of water that an electrical line had gone down in, while trying to save a young soldier from line of fire-who died. My husband actually refused his Purple Heart in honor of those that didn't make it. Now all of his bones are calcified so that can barely move. But he's still Active and leaves for Korea July 3rd. Thanks for your comment. I won't even bother to reply to the others.
@ShadowofSnape, lady men need their wifes to defend them
@ShadowofSnape, Please, change your username to Killjoy or something of the sort. It suits you better.
@ShadowofSnape,If everyone thinks I'm grumpy, I am. I'm stuck in the hospital having a tumor removed from my tailbone. I was looking at funny pics to get my mind off of everything. I only commented because I love to cook but I'll be stuck in a wheelchair for who knows how long while my husband is in Korea for the next 15 months. No help with kids, cooking or anything. Sorry for bringing everyone down. But I didn't think I'd get flamed over an innocent remark. I was just making a joke over my ridiculous obsession with the perfect steak. Can we hold off on this argument at least til the nurse refills my morphine pump? Please?
@ShadowofSnape, lol wut
*pukes up rainbow*
@ShadowofSnape, damn I am glad he is still alive as well as mourn the death of a true American. I had no choice in either of my Purple Hearts either because of my sergeant major for the suicide bomber and the bullet I took was not meant for me but my Soldier who was with me on our recovery mission. When I was sent back home to "recover" his family welcomed me as their white "son" even though he feels I'm more of a father because I was his NCO and that's why I couldn't have a say in the second one. Honestly, I would have rather died fighting over there than return back here to listen and witness America's idiocracy in office.
@ShadowofSnape, you are the single stupidest person, the man card thing is a joke, and it sounds mean but no one cares what you have to say
I read the whole thing, took notes, saved the image, and even memorized the hand thing..... But im prob never going to remember any of this tomorrow
@EmpireSait, thank you for rembering this as a butcher myself explaining this to people is a pain in the ass they don't believe me when I say a bit of fat on your steak is a good thing u don't even have to eat it. It's ther to make the steak tender
@masterbacon, a marbled steak is a good steak
Step one, stake out the perfect piece of meat.
Step two, put that meat in a box.
@Colin Kaepernick, step three, make her open the box
@James got a Harden, oh stop it with the puns a just cook a d**m good steak
@TheWhiteWolf, thats the way you do it! It's a steak in a box! A steak in a box, girl.
@TheWhiteWolf, your comment made my day
@assburgur syndrome , I think it's actually d**n, not d**m.
@TheWhiteWolf, step four: find out she's a vegetarian Step five: laugh
@Colin Kaepernick, step two: if step one fails, repeat step one once again.
@Oakleygirl, I told you I'm bad with directions. Got my d*ck stuck in a box.
@TheWhiteWolf, Step four, profit.
@Sad Floor Food, I though that was step 3
Girls are like barbecues, if it's too hot it will burn your meat
@Australianderp, but at the same time, girls are like cooking on the stove. You gotta get it real hot before you stick your meat in.
This guy is not absolutely right...and no I'm not joking
Well crap, better just hand out my man card now and save myself the humility
Whoevever made this, I salute you.
just tried this with medium rare. best goddamn steak ever.
That's not a porterhouse steak in the pictures of the 3 steaks to buy. (Trust me, I'm a butcher). It contains a muscle called the gludius medius that extends down from the sirloin to the striploin. Almost any place you get a porterhouse steak from charges more for it compared to a T-bone steak; which is a complete dis-service because the fore mentioned gludius medius muscle is a tougher muscle. My point, buy t-bone over porterhouse and definitely prime rib or ribeye over anything.
Where's man tip # 1??
Don't cook a steak until it's well-done, either. Loses all taste at that point.
I froze a streak once. Those were my rogue days
Next up should be Man Tip #3: Sex
@KneelOn, men don't need a tip on that..
@Punker, *Real men don't. However those Susie homemakers that bake their steak do.
This is legit. Take notes. Well, take better notes than you do in school.
Uh. Extra virgin olive oil is the best olive oil...
@meowarina, obviously you are not a man. And if you are, I am officially revoking your man card.
@Lord Reginald, you are correct I'm not. But by grade, extra virgin is best in its make, and health effects.
God, I love cooking delicious steaks but I have always agreed that no one should ever put A1 or any steak sauce on a steak before they taste it because that is disrespectful to the artist who made that wonderful art. I never put any "steak" sauce on any of my steaks, seasoning yes but that is as far as I go. If a woman can cook or grill a steal as well as I can, I try to tie her down with me as quickly as possible because she's a keeper.
And great description. I downloaded this
Brought to you by Ron Swanson.
Finally, I can cook a meal worthy enough to become a manly man!
@crayon, With a name like crayon though...? Haha
@wizardGandalf, manly crayon?
@wizardGandalf, wizard gandalf.
@TheRiddlersAbortion, yes, that is I. Can I help you?
While some people are like, NEVER FREEZE YOUR MEAT, I get an entire half of beef, so what do they expect me to do? Let it rot? Another is to just use Lawry's Seasoned Salt, oiling your steak
@AutumnsApple, i prefer to shy away from the assload of MSG
I'm a teen and I already know how to cook almost all my favorite foods
@Fun Fact, my dad taught me how to cook a lot of stuff when i was about 9
@awkward silence, yep
We've been attacked by thumb trolls. So i thumbed almost everyone up because this is just rediculous with all the REDNESS.
So... Instead of giving me a funny picture, you showed me how to make steak.
@Gerard Gay, it's a fair trade in my opinion.
Never salt the meat raw. Oil if you like but black pepper only and kosher salt after first flip and the rest when taking it off the grill.
I'm gay and I've known all this for a while.
There was much less swearing in that manly picture than I anticipated.
Well i love A1 sauce. If you want my man card, come and get it!!
Well now I'm buying steaks tonight! Got my mouth watering!
I used to love steaks. But then I stopped... But now I have the, ULTIMATE GUIDE!!
Finally, a picture I can relate to.
I agree with all of this but there is one problem... i can't swallow specifically steak. Literally. :'(
@netniuQ08, I....I'm so sorry :(
This was great.
juice without a fight.
This turned me into a man
Like a Man!
One does simply read the whole thing. If not, GTFO!
Amazing guide, ill have to keep this
As a chef, I agree with this guide whole heartedly.
Im glad to see chuck norris is working on building the next generation of manly men
Or, giant style: buy steak; buy ham; use ham to make sandvich (use steak instead of ham! ) keep in back pocket for 30 secs; eat; killing spree!!!!
Actually, real men just eat meat without spending 20 minutes reading a post on it...
Written by Ron Swanson
.... I wonder whats man tip #1.....
Every time it's a really long post with a lot of reading, I check the rating first to see if it's worth it. I can't be the only one..
Have I been eating like a woman this whole time!?!?!?!?!?!?!????!??!?!?!?!!!!!!
The steaks are too high for me to try this
This is a person that rejects variety and lacks creativity I think.
That's stupid wasted time
I don't like steak :/
I love my steak rare. So delicious, and I feel like a man when I eat it. This was helpful, though.
Or just tell your wife to make it for you
Real men don't read instructions ill cook steak how I god damn please
F*ck no....I will use A1 if I want to its delicious!
But...... I love A1.....
What is wrong with Filet? If you don't want to eat a 16oz sirloin or porterhouse a wonderfully cooked medium filet is great!
But I like the taste of A1:(
This sounds like it was done by the guys at Epic Meal Time.
I agree, except salt should only be added once the meat is sealed, otherwise you draw out the moisture of the steak that you are trying to keep in when cooking it on a high heat. That way you get a good seasoned juicy steak :)
I feel like it would be funnier if the uploader's name was Ron Swanson
Or step one get wife to do it
Glad to see chuck norris is teaching the next generation of manly men
Eat it with your bare hands.
Wait.. What is man tip #1?
@TEUTknight, man tip #1. F*CK TIP NUMBER ONE!
He forgot top round chuck steak and t-bone,
@Comrade pissoff, a porterhouse IS a T-bone with the tenderloin on it
@Trust Me, cheaper as a t-bone than a porterhouse
Be sure to take out the fat. That stuff is dangerous
@Moon Gekko, the fat is why you choose USDA Prime over the other crap.
My masculinity just sky rocketed
Any steak is good steak
@green shirt guy, Aren t you curious how artists do
Where is the funny?
One does not simply read the whole thing
@Atticus, Too important to not read.
@Atticus, False. Only lady-men don't read the whole thing
Why is meati so inport arn
@Empolean Latias, I think it's trying to communicate
@The Antagonist, maybe. Just maybe.
@The Antagonist, kill it with fire?
@The Antagonist, this was honestly the funniest comment I've seen on this app. I nearly died of laughter.
@Empolean Latias, my brain is dying.
I'm vegan and I found this offensive.
@Prof Pancake, I'm fine with you being vegan. That's your choice. But how, pray tell, is this offensive? I love meat, does that mean I'm offensive to you? I'm sure most people on this app like meat, does that also mean they offend you? You can eat what you want, but that doesn't mean that you can expect everyone else to do the same.
@Lord Reginald, there are always one dumbass everywhere you go who somehow finds every thing offensive and wastes the saying everyone is racist and discriminatory, allowing none of us to get any work done because they get butt hurt over everything. There's no point in acknowledging their existence because they know they are guilty of everything that this meme says not to do. They just want to take their guiltiness and place the blame on others so they can justify their existence. Do not pay any attention to them.
@Prof Pancake, nope I'm sure you like d*ck whether you're male or female. Therefore you can't find this offensive.
@Lord Reginald, I think Prof is talking about the man card thing at the beginning. Nothing else would be offensive really.
@Prof Pancake, announcing "I'm offended" is telling everyone - "I have no control over my emotions, so I want everyone else to do it for me".
@Prof Pancake, I'm a vegan. I thought it was sorta cool I guess. As long as i'm not eating it. It's good to know.
@Nerdy bird, right, can't hurt to know how to cook a steak
My brother runs a restaurant and he says buying USDA Choice is just fine, Prime really isn't necessarily worth the money. Just don't get Select.
So grilling meat makes you MANly?
Whoever down voted this must either be a useless girl or a sissy pants man.....
This post requires being read in Ron Swanson's voice
But I like A1...
I don't grill
I work in a butcher shop. The steaks depicted as "sirloins" are actually Kansas strip steaks, which come from the T-bone steak but the bone is cut off. A porterhouse steak is just an extra large T-bone.
Time to eat right? *FVCK NO!!!! -pimp slaps-
If sexism was radiation, my death would be faster than Marie curies. Seriously, this post makes me upset. They are
@Mad Stranger, (I pressed send to early) the type of person that thinks all men need to BUILD BIG THINGS, RIDE MONSTER TRUCKS, LOVE MURICA AND DRINK ALL THE BEER. Suzie Homemaker, are you serious? I'm a pescaterian and I know a lot of biological men that don't fit the stereotypical MACHO aspects. Most people do not fit perfectly feminine or masculine according to their sex. Women can work and build big things and men don't have to eat steak. Sorry for the rant. This whole post just made me upset do to the tone of this idiot.
i always hated steak sauce.
I'm a vegetarian and I read the whole thing
Why would you want a naked supermodel? They are odd looking skeletons with skin. They could cut you with their protruding hip bones. They need to eat these steaks.
Ron Swanson quote?
I didn't kno epic meal time posted pictures on this app
Why do they have my exact pepper grinder?
If you grill a good steak... I might just make you a sandwich.
As I said before, it's ok to add a little sauce to the side after tasting it first, but I would like to add that you must use it in moderation. Use no more than if you were using horseradish. You wouldn't drown your food in horseradish would you?
Sometimes i use extra spicy Barbecue sauce, am i a terrorist?