Comments
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@stewies wig, Do you work for FedEx?. Because I caught you checking out my package.
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@stewies wig, Do you like jalapenos, cause in a minute, I'll be jalapeno pussy
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@stewies wig, did it hurt when you... Have sex with me
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Your ass is pretty tight. Want me to loosen it up?
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@stewies wig, your dad must be a farmer, cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
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@stewies wig, you must be a colonel, cause you make my privates stand up straight.
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@stewies wig, I have a knife and a p*nis. You choose which one goes inside you.
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@stewies wig, if i flip a coin, whats the chance of me getting head?
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@stewies wig, I'm going to sex you
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@Albert E, i laughed so hard XD
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@stewies wig, let me wipe your seat *wipes face*
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@stewies wig, do you use an inhaler? Cause you got that Ass-Ma.
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@Mickeys Fingers, nopenopenopenopenopenope
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@stewies wig, this is a nerd one that I thought of during biology: if I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes
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@stewies wig, are you from Japan? Cause I'm tryna get in japanties.
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@stewies wig, is there a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself In them!
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@stewies wig, Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don't love me I'll kill myself.
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@Mickeys Fingers, OHGODNO NOT THOSE! NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!
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@stewies wig, Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather have an abortion than use a condom with you.
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@stewies wig, hey girl do you like dragons? Cause in a minute imma be dragon these balls across your face.
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@stewies wig, you into fitness? How about fitness dick into your mouth?
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@stewies wig, or from Hall Pass: are you from ireland? Because when I look at you my penis doubles in size.
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@stewies wig, I'm an astronaught. Next mission, to Uranus
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@stewies wig, Girl are you a beaver? cuz dam
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@My Generation Sucks, no no, its, "my penis is dublin"
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@My Generation Sucks, that's what I said!
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@acsdog, ...im in...
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@stewies wig, I got skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow? AND I know your not a horse but I wanna ride you anywat
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@stewies wig, wanna come over and play house? You can be the door and I'll slam ya.
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@stewies wig, are you from Ireland? Cause when I see you my penis is Dublin
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@stewies wig, don't turn this rape into murder
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@stewies wig, does this smell like chloroform?
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@stewies wig, Do you have a mirror in your pants, cuz I can see me I'm them.
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@theweepulguy, the same as the odds of getting tail
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@stewies wig, Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a knife, now get in my van!
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@theweepulguy, the same as your chances of getting shoulder.
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@stewies wig, Your moms like a shotgun to cocks and she ready to blow.
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@stewies wig, do you know what has 37 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper
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@acsdog, actually i think its is there a mirror in your pocket? Because i can see myself in your pants
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@stewies wig, my dick died, can I bury it in your ass?
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@LaxBro2121, that's crazy bro I heard this about 5 years ago
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@stewies wig, JUST CALL ME WILLIAM HERSHEL BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO DISCOVER URANUS
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@stewies wig, have breakfast? Cuz omelet you suck this dick!
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@stewies wig, I'll flip a coin. Heads you give me tail, tails you give me head.
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@LaxBro2121, That was a pic on here a little while ago. But nice try :)
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@stewies wig, girl are you at the airport? cuz youre going to Bangkok
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@stewies wig, I'm no chicken but watch what my cock-le-do-to-you
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@LaxBro2121, Aren't you one of the moderators of the funnypics instagram page?
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@stewies wig, what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?.... I can't peanut butter my c*ck up your A$$
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@stewies wig, lets flip a coin. Heads I get tail, tails I get head.
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@stewies wig, are you from Tennessee? Cuz I wanna get you pregnant.
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@stewies wig, roses are red violets are blue I'm using my hand and thinking about you
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@stewies wig, Does this cloth smell like chloroform *shoves cloth into face*
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@stewies wig, Do you like tapes and CDs? Because I'm gonna tape your face to my dick so you can CDs balls.
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@stewies wig, Do you like tapes and CD's? Because I will TAPE my penis to your forehead so you can CDs balls.
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@stewies wig, do you like tapes and cds? Cause im gonna tape this dick to your face and make u cds nuts
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@Mickeys Fingers, my therapist says I can't see you anymore.
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@stewies wig, hey baby if you were a car door I'd slam you all night long
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@stewies wig, Mickey Mouse: "Take off my glove"
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@stewies wig, let's flip a coin. Heads I get head, tails I get tail
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@stewies wig, roses are red, my name is dan, i hav a gun, so get in my van.
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@stewies wig, If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass
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@stewies wig, Roses are red Violets are blue I touch myself when I think of you
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@AllGoodNamesAreGone, which one? Cause the biology one i honestly thought of during biology when we were learning about it haha and the other i got from a movie
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@Chapsdick, no haha I don't even have an Instagram
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@stewies wig, Are you a wrench? Because you just made my nuts tighten
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@stewies wig, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants. - Joe Barbaro, Mafia II ftw
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Given that he's a sloth, it will be both a slow and mild sexual experience
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I'm about to pepper your angus.
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@MACWE, this explains everything.
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8. Screw you, i'm still counting pluto.
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Epic pick-up line
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@Epic Comment, my favorite is shouting "get in the van"
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@Epic Comment, epic EVERYTHING
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@Epic Comment, I like you
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Im a sloth, Creeping in the Grass, Coming to rape your A$$!!
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Hey why don't you take a seat on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
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That sloth never ceases to both creep me out and make me laugh my as* off
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But, but.... What about me?
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Have you ever been to uganda? Because uganda be bouncing on this dick.
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You know what rhymes with sloth?...you know, I know you do
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@Ross Geller, broth, froth, Hoth, moth, doth, David Lee Roth?
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@Cesare Borgia, rape
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Has anyone seen the full pic o the sloth and the girl? It's actually a naked girl holding a sloth
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The only thing I ever whisper in a woman's ear is..."Shh, don't cry. Everybody sleeps. Yes, everybody sleeps.". Then she gets the hose again.
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Roses are red violets are black prepare your anus I'm about to attack. - RLF
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During sex he'll whisper "shut up Meg."
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Does the carpet match the drapes
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I would like to hire this sloth
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Maybe that's what happened to Pluto...
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People who make this funny pictures must really hate whoever makes those girl photos.
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I tried to upload this photo a few days ago...what the hell funnypics? You just hate me don't you :(
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And he'll be destroying Uranus real, real slow
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@Tmsnicka, um...excuse me?
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First pic to make me laugh in a whi... Ever.
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Where are all of those arms coming from in the top?
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Do you like tapes and CDs? Cause im going to tape my dick to your head so you can CDs nuts....
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Do you like candies? Because i wanna know candies balls fit in your mouth.
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GODDAMN SOMEBODY STOP THAT F*CKING SLOTH BEFORE HE DESTROYS MY FAVORITE PLANET
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Do you like jalapeños? Cause later I'm gonna be jalapeño p*ssy
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Bow Chicka bow wow
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*looks over my shoulder to make sure the sloth isn't there*
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This made me laugh.
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Your anus*
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I actually think that's a really sexy pickup line
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Hey how you doin lil mama let me whisper in your ear Tell you somethin that you might like to hear You got a sexy ass body and your ass look soft Mind if I touch it and see if it's soft?
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*whispers* give me the apples....
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Hail hydra
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Am I the only one who thinks that lady I scary
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Only 6 after I blow Venus.
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Does anyone else think the face next to the sloth is just as creepy
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I could not stop laughing when I read this!
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This is so EPIC.... CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!
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joke's on you sloth, my boyfriend already has.
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By far the bet animal on the planet.
Dirty pick-up line contest... GO!