I can slay enemies and engage in bodily face painting, all while remaining a cutie patootie. Come to me female so we may embark on our journey of love.
@DOOMFOOL, I have a feeling that someone somewhere has that comment as their online dating profile.
@DOOMFOOL, That happens to be exactly what I'm looking for in a man.
@DOOMFOOL, plot twist, she's really a bear. Don't talk to strangers online
@DOOMFOOL, that's sexy.
@DOOMFOOL, I'll go get my battleaxe.
@DOOMFOOL, all while listening to Dethklok!
@DOOMFOOL, Marry me?
@DOOMFOOL, you are the one
@DOOMFOOL, ME-OW! What are you doing later?
@DOOMFOOL, oh I'm drippin with excitement
@DOOMFOOL, can i use weapons in the brutal display so i can use my katana or narsil sword
Boy, that escalated quickly.
@DirkNowitzki, and it descended about just as quickly
Basically she's saying she wants an assassin from AC
@Anal Flute, YES!
@Anal Flute, pretty much. I'm not gunna pretend I didn't have a crush on Ezio and wish he was real
@Anal Flute, they are pretty perfect fictional characters lql
She's just kidding. She'll date some a-hole for the next three years and complain that there are no nice guys.
@DictatorDom, woman logic.
@DictatorDom, Hello Dom, I want to play a game. What is this about complaining about women. Not all are like this, you must dig deep enough. I am here to put you to the test, of willpower. In coherence with your comment, I've placed a device around your hip, by 9:00 it will activate, projecting a steel rod up your rectum and emerge out of your mouth. This is a personal favorite I call, "The Prison Lover". This is because you appear butt hurt about girls an use your mouth to complain. Both are blessings. This can all be prevented by finding the key to release you from your imminent fate. You may have to shed some blood, and revoke your manhood. So swallow your pride, and cut like no other. This endures even more pain than other body parts. Will you persevere and live? Or die and hit the sack. Where is the key? You will be given a scalpel. Hurry now, the clock ticks. Live or die Dom, make your choice...
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET THE KEY IN HIS PENIS?
@Acorn, OR NUTS.
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, I find this most Intriguing, please continue to sow chaos in the the hearts of mortal men.
@Sithis, Hail Sithis!
@Sithis, sanguine, my brother
@Sithis, sanguine, my brother...
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, i am tired of you taking out funny pic users! I challenge you and by reading this our eyes have locked you have to battle and there is no running! GO CHARIZARD!!!!!
@Acorn, damnit. I wasnt in the mood to read all that but now I gotta know.
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, that was beautiful. *sheds a tear*
@Sithis, HAIL SITHIS
@Pokemon Professor, what a out Typhlosion?
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, Woah, woah, woah, WOAH! I may be wrong but you did you get it in his penis? You just walk in while he is sleeping and just shove the key in his penis and he doesn't even notice?
@Your average Android, How* not you
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, is it weird that the person that commented after you came up with that device has the name of -anal flute?
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, you make my day all day erry day
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, I'd use the scalpel to slice my throat.
@Acorn, I agree. Since this happened my pee has been red. I'm seeing!
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, Couldn't he just as easily cut the device around his waist?
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, he'll bleed out in 7 minutes. I thought you wanted him to do something to save his life, not make him die slower.
@Funny Guy X, usually Saw movies use metal devices to prevent that sort of cheating
@Jigsaw The Puzzler, Wouldn't that suck if he cut of his wang and the key isn't there?
I have all of these qualities, well....... except the good taste in music :(
I fit all of these except cutie patootie, I am more of a cutie pie(at least that's what I have been told)
*violently slays enemies* then *violently paints face with their blood*
@Drizzt DoUrden, *violently lets her borrow sweatshirt*
@Jeff Hardy, *VIOLENTLY PISSES ON A FIRE HYDRANT*
@Dog with an iPhone, *VIOLENTLY SHARES ITUNES PLAYLIST*
@Dog with an iPhone, *VIOLENTLY MAKES A SANDWICH*
Sometimes a rather download the comments then the pictures
I even slew her friends to show her how much I really loved her.
"And then I will friendzone him"
@stool, not all girls friendzone guys :( I try my best not to when I don't like someone like that but how else can we say no without losing a close friend? As I know I haven't friendszoned anyone, but I'm not perfect. Guys friendzone nice girls too :/
I thought that said will lend me his noodles, and I was like I don’t think he’ll want them back
So close, I don't own a hoodie
Well that escalated quickly. .
Dean Winchester. You're looking for Dean Winchester
Well that escalated quickly
Wow, I just came across a picture in the random section where the top comment feature was new.
I can say I meet 4/5 requirements, but I would never lend someone my hoodie!
@Hippolytus of Rome, that's the most important requirement, though!
@Hippolytus of Rome, you sir must be an forever alone.
Or a rich black dude that can rap and or has a big dick. Welcome to the year 2013 sloots
Thats just a list to friend zone, probably the boyfriend list will just lead up a douchebag
I would qualify if not for #3 and maybe #2.
Yeah pretty much my requirements
Does she really mean "lend"?
🎶One of these things is not like the other🎶
What was that middle part?
She wants the H
I guess I need to work on my... "patootie"
I just want a man that will help me murder haters. And help me clean my dildos and rape boats. Do you know how long it takes to get blood and "juice" out of hardwood?
Then I'm the guy for you
You can't forget a man that will help u sacrifice them to Satan!
Aw shucks, thank you Lana Del Ray
I VOLUNTEER FOR THIS POSITION
Hmm, how do o qualify as a cutie patootie?
Well that escalated quickly..
I saw this tweet, I was not impressed.
I think old gamers know I'm bloody
Ew, no. I'm sorry, I'm not giving up my horrible taste in music for you.
What I'm looking for in a woman: Hates makeup, can cook, looks at least- screw this is never going to happen
This described ASFJerome :3
Boy, that escalated quickly
Two words: Scary Mike. If you like being a pit girl.
One is not like the rest. Yeah you guessed it, who wants a guy with humor??
I think I'll just casually slip 'will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood' second last and I'll end the whole thing with 'good taste in music'. Done! Now I just have to wait for cute single men to start falling at my feet!
"WAIT, what was that last one?!" "has good taste in music? Heh"
Well that escalated then deescalated quickly
Omg it's me
Feel that escalated quickly
Well that escalated and de-escalated quickly
Woah woah woah, hold on.... I have to be a cutie patootie?
This... Sounds like the girl I like...
I meet all of these, except I'm a girl, so... (And by the way, I am not lesbian)
Well that Deescalated quickly
Sounds like scary mike is perfect for this girl
Boy, that escalated quickly.
Umm... humor and music for me. Yeah... this girl might not be getting anyone soon...
Sounds like mile
Fyi when she says cutie patootie, she means channing tatum. Its a trap!
I guess your good taste in music happens to be Slayer?
I actually found thia guy! This really is the perfect boy, too :D
Too bad my preference is zombie girls :(
violently slays enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint my face with their blood
I stopped after the first one.
Painting face with blood, I think I can manage that much ;)
i have been told by people that i have all of these qualities word for word. i have been called a cutie patootie.
And I still don't have a girlfriend.
If he's capable of slaying my enemies and painting his face with their blood, I expect a few steps up from cutie patootie. He better be a f***ing sexy beast.
Sorry I only met 1 out of 5 criteria; maybe next time...
To the creator of this pic: that's me, give me a call
Woah woah woah... Calm down. You seriously care about his taste in music that much?
Who says cutie patootie?
I'm coming for you
Wait.....what was that second to last one again?
Lol the uploader name is sort of related