Okay, I need help. Nervous virgin here, but there is a chance I might be losing my v-card tomorrow with my girlfriend. What do funnypics community?
@A Small Whale, whatever happens, tell her she's the best you've ever had
@A Small Whale, how do you have a girlfriend if you're on funnypics? And I don't think most of us will know what to do...
@A Small Whale, don't rush sex just wait until the time feels right you don't want to have a horrible time
@A Small Whale, dude just have sex with her. If she wants to bang you there's nothing to worry about. If she knows you're a virgin then she should expect inexperience and you'll be fine.
@A Small Whale, here's how you do it... get some soft Justin Beiber going on the radio at 1/2 speed, extra romantic. Light some candles and lay down a big black tarp. Get that good baby oil and spread it all over the place, then buy a one way ticket to pleasure-ville
@sexyvampireprincess, she suggested it. We've been together about a year now and I feel like it wouldn't be rushed
@ExPopeBenedict, now you see The Justin Bieber part is where you messed up
@A Small Whale, if you guys are both virgins then its new to you both and neither one of you will know the difference so just let it come natural if thats the case. If she isn't a virgin then just let her guide you and go along with it until you are comfortable to make tour own move.
@A Small Whale, if you feel it's the right time then don't be nervous
@A Small Whale, try to last as long as possible. Thats all that matters
@A Small Whale, 15 seconds at most
@sexyvampireprincess, my problem isn't knowing that it's time to, it's that it's my first. You've all given me good advice, thanks
@A Small Whale, DON'T put it in her butt by accident.
@Blue Caterpillar, noted
@A Small Whale, go with the flow and good things will come.
@A Small Whale, condom or birth control definitely. Do not forgot those
@ExPopeBenedict, I lol'd
@A Small Whale, but if do, and she likes it, keep doing it. Also, wrap it before you tap it. (Wear a condom)
@A Small Whale, well, you might get it in. Better wash your balls!
@its mountainman, I got it covered, condom in the wallet
@A Small Whale, if the time is right then it's right, of course use protection if you don't want the possibility of a surprise child, and just be as courteous and caring as you can. That's all that I can really say, the rest is up to you c;
@A Small Whale, I love the diversity in the comments here. "Wait till the time is right" "just bang her, bro" "put on some Justin beiber" "what's a girlfriend"
@A Small Whale, count to 30 if you make it you rocked her world
@A Small Whale, hope she's not on her period
@A Small Whale, heat ruins condoms. DO NOT used condom stored in wallet.
@Ditto, she's assured me she isn't on it
@A Small Whale, stop seeking advice from complete strangers about personal matters... wierdo
@A Small Whale, Depends what your religious/moral views are. If you want to wait you can tell her and if she is a good girlfriend she'll understand. If you are happy with doing it now just go with the flow and do what comes naturally.
@deadlyninjaassasin, stop insulting people over the internet, it doesn't make you seem "cooler". I'm just nervous about this and all my friends don't know anything on the matter
@A Small Whale, all I'm saying is maybe you consult these fears with your friends or something. Might help... I apologize for being mean about it.
@A Small Whale, in all serious, it's gonna be new to both of you so it'll probably be awkward and a little weird, but it'll be awesome bc you both love eachother and it will honestly make your relationship so much more comfortable and closer. And then you'll get better with experience and eventually you'll be a sexpert:)
@A Small Whale, just keep quoting Spongebob the whole way through and you'll be good
@A Small Whale, LOTS OF FOREPLAY. Get some kissin' going, maybe finger her abit, make sure she's soaking. You don't wanna try and stick it in there while it's all dry. But as always: Don't be silly, wrap your willy! Good Luck Bro!
@Barium man, "are you feeling it now mr.crabs"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" Aaaaaaand PELVIC THRUST!!"
@A Small Whale, Coming from a girl's perspective, the best thing you can do is listen to her and try to learn exactly what she likes and doesn't, or what feels good and what doesn't. Remembering specific things that she likes will make her really happy and realize how much you pay attention.
@ThirstyGirl, actually, she's not a virgin. I'm the only one
@deadlyninjaassasin, it's okay. You just said it in a douchey way
@A Small Whale, I just realized how amazing this community is. All these people are giving you above
@A Small Whale, I didn't get to finish! Ugh I can't type.
@Fionna the humana, I know. It's really cool of tees people to help me out and laugh at the same time :3 LOVE YOU ALL
@A Small Whale, watch out for the sillyband effect
@green shirt guy, Ahhh, forgot about that one
@Blue Caterpillar, "accident"
@Violent Grape, FIRMLY GRASP IT!
@deadlyninjaassasin, The reason we seek help from the internet is because the people have no social obligation to lie to you.
@A Small Whale, if shes a virgin too, let her take the lead. If shes not you gotta nut up or shut up kid. Girls dig confidence.
@A Small Whale, k seriously bro I'm gonna say a few things that you need to think about and think about hard! (Pun intended). First and foremost,and this is going to sound extremely parentish, ask yourself if this is someone that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Be brutally honest. If the answer is no consider waiting, you may regret making her your first later on in life. Now, with that outta the way and knowing that you will probably ignore this sagely advice as all proper teens will let's get to the good stuff.
@A Small Whale, forget everything you think you know about sex and foreplay, you probably learned it from porn and porn is fake. It's totally 100% fake. It's acting. 99% of women are nothing like what you've seen in porn. Porn stars are athletes with nearly superhuman strength and endurance and most real women want nothing to do with what you see in porn. Do NOT expect your first time to be ANYTHING like that. This is especially true if it is her first time as well. You will be fortunate to last longer than about 2 minutes and that is completely normal. Fortunately there are a few tricks and tips that can make a huge difference for you both. Realize and learn now that foreplay begins hours before you ever get into the bedroom. Women are emotional creatures and she needs to feel close and connected to you to really truly enjoy herself. Do something to make the day really special for her. Go for dinner, talk to her, LISTEN to her. Buy her flowers that kind of stuff. Show her you
@A Small Whale, care. When the time comes make sure you are prepared. Have condoms (plural) and a lubricant that is safe for latex condoms. Common cooking oils and hand creams can cause the latex to fail. Be super gentle with her and take your time. (Unless she indicates otherwise, always follow her lead and listen to what she and her body tells you). Don't go straight for the goods, in fact avoid her 'goods' for the first while and just tease her with your hands and mouth coming close, but not actually touching those areas. Be gentle (I can't stress that enough). Teasing her will drive her NUTS! Soon she will be begging you to touch her closer and when you do, be gentle, not forceful. Pushing to hard or too fast or too deep can actually hurt a woman. Be gentle at first and pay attention to her body language. Like I said before: Porn is 100% bullshjt and real sex is usually nothing like it. Don't expect porn sex. Have fun!!!
@A Small Whale, don't set high expectations. I didn't even finish my first time, and most guys I've talked to finished extremely quickly. Most people talk up losing your v-card as a huge moment, and for some it is, but honestly it's most likely going to be unimpressive on your end. But it gets better. Waayyyyyy better, and there's a lot to look forward to once both of you get comfortable with each other. So if you don't perform well don't get down, it's normal.
@A Small Whale, there seems to be a large amount of whales here...
@itseverywhere, wow, that actually helps a LOT. Thanks man/dude
@I shjt you not, I meant to upvote you.. I sincerely apologize.
@Assassin1812, aha I see what you did there.
@deadlyninjaassasin, don't lie to us you arnt a deadly ninja assassin your a lonely person with your best friend Jill.
@Twinkles , actually, I apologized for being rude. I have tried to understand this guy's situation. I do not understand seeking validation or advice from a "community" on a funny pic app, which I've enjoyed reading most people's comments since I've had this app. But I can learn to understand and respect other people's choices. I am bigger then that. And not as close minded as I showed earlier.
On another note, I'm happily married with two kids, but that doesn't mean I can't pay Jill a visit once in awhile. That's between me and her!
@A Small Whale, be polite and eat her out, finger her, and make sure she's very hot and horny by taking your time and making her want it, so if you come quickly you won't have to worry about dissatisfaction, also masturbate before the date so you can last longer later in the night
@A Small Whale, don't keep your condom in a wallet, it makes it less trustworthy, store it properly, then hold it in your pocket when you're expecting
What if i told u the text is being reflected off his glasses
@Brightlight, danget. I need to read through the comments before I comment, I just posted that. Haha
What if I told you... I have no experience with this. *Single tear rolls down cheek*
*mystical goat* the truth has been spoken
What if I told you, whenever I see this meme, I check if "I" and "if" are in the correct order
What if I told you I'm actually good at bjs and I know it?
You're in a truly great relationship if you and your sexual partner tell each other you could improve and how.
Notice the text shows on his glasses
Or its because it feels so good every time that it's impossible to distinguish between... Ahhh who am I kidding. Defiantly true. ^
Verses "oh, yeah that was fun...see you around some time...*achem*"
They know too much...
I was told I was really bad at it... What does that mean?
What if I told you that every guy is obligated to do that so that the girl won't b!tch him out.
Ill just have to take your word on it.
A girl blew me once I was on fire
Stop giving out our secrets
Actually if you say it was ok, they'll assume they weren't that good and try to be better next time
I see Neo and text in his glasses. Wow.
Well I mean it's not like telling them someone else is better will get you blowjobs....
Yeah I can totally relate...
the text reflects in his glasses
Unfortunately, that's not true. The first girl who gave me a BJ was asked "is it bleeding?" And subsequently asked to stop.
Or say she has room for improvement so she'll try harder
What if I told you the text is still reflecting off his sunglasses?
I tell her there's room for improvement, after all practice makes perfect
To be fair every current bj is the best bj in the guys mind.
What is this BJ you speak of?
I just say it was awful so she tries again but harder
30 March 2014 #30March2014
Ok, maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't do that.