Who was the first person to see a penis and say "I'm gonna suck that"
@Edward Penishands, your mom
@stephanothebro, best reply ever
@stephanothebro, I'm favoriting this picture just for that reply
@Edward Penishands, um
Who was the first person to think "Maybe if I set my food on fire it will taste better"?
@vagina dentata, sponge gar and pat tar
@Doughnut Boy, and squag
@Doughnut Boy, that episode was great
@Doughnut Boy, spongegar fwifwi! Patark fwifwi!
Who was the first person to decide to use the middle finger?
@Kangaroo Jacked, I think someone told that here and it had to do with archers during the Middle Ages
@Kangaroo Jacked, This is from the middle ages. When an enemy archer was caught, they would cut off the middle finger, because the it is very helpful when shooting an arrow. If the archer escaped, s/he would stick up the middle finger. This was basically taunting their enemy.
@Kangaroo Jacked, it's actually not medieval, but was first used by a Greek playwrite to resemble a penis
@Dr House, The archers in the Middle Ages stuck out the middle three, because it was those they would cut. And more specifically it was English long bowmen taunting the French during the 100 years war
Who was the first person to see a cows udder and say, "I'll squeeze that and drink what comes out
@Average Tumblr User, same applies with d!cks
@Average Tumblr User, I don't get why people think that's so weird. That's what breasts do, someone saw a cow feeding it's calf and realized it could be mass produced.
@Average Tumblr User, I believe than since humans nurse from their mothers, and know how healthy and full of nutrients it is and how it can sustain us, that when they saw cows or other mammals nursing that would try it. In some countries their is not enough resources to sustain and feed everyone, so people will breastfeed their children until they are 5-6 years old to survive. Goats milk is also commonly used, and horse milk is used sometimes too.
@Aperture Employee, that makes sense
@Aperture Employee, because it's disgusting to think that someone was literally like "I'm gonna drink an animals breast milk". We're the only species on earth that does that purposely.
ADD: and several animal species will eat eggs if the birds don't protect their nest well enough. Survival is the name of the game, if you see other animals eat something and not die from it, it means you now have other known items to survive. (the same concept works if you are stranded or lost, only eat things that the wildlife eat from, they don't eat plants that can kill them.)
@Average Tumblr User, what I wanna know, is why don't we use human females for milk instead of cows?
@cunnilingus, Because that would be "inhumane".
Plot twist: The egg came first
@Enter New Username, Your a Dumb@$$!
@Dauntless Cake, it's a joke, calm
And that was the trend that caught on. Imagine all the other shjt that didn't
@I shjt you not, yeah just be glad it was an egg that came out and not shjt
@TheCandyManVan, yes, I was being literal. Good thing cow patties didn't become popular
This one kid at my school said this a couple days ago at school and everyone called him a dumba$$ because eggs don't come out of a chickens a$$
but eggs don't come out of the chickens ass
Who was the first person to mix their dog's puke in their eggs...or is that just me?
@DexterMoserMorgan, you make me gag. Down vote for you
Who was the first person to make a lasagna out of a can of smashed @ssholes?
@DarkSock, Yeah this hopefully never happened...
Same with milk
Whatever the first organism to prey on vertebrate's eggs was.
Who was the first person to think "this bug looks tasty" before proceeding to eat it. I just looked over as im writing this to see my cat torturing a beetle which she will most likely proceed to eat once it is dead.
Scary mike, is that even a real question