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What was your biggest “oh shït” moment you found yourself in.
@NameyMcNameFace, i forgot what day it was and missed my final...............
@NameyMcNameFace, my high school gf and I were in the marching band together. It was a brand new high school (we were second graduating class) so the band had an entire section of the building that was pretty much just for us. It had 4 or 5 of these little sound proof practice rooms that students could use pretty freely as long as a staff member was around, but our band director didn't really give a sh!t and would leave them unlocked 24/7. One evening my gf and I were helping to clean up after a theater event, and since they didnt have a lot of storage room they were putting chairs in one of the practice rooms. At this point almost everybody was gone, and my gf and I had just finished grabbing and storing the last of the chairs, when all of a sudden she switched off the light, grabbed me and started making out with me. Things started getting hot and heavy real quick, and pretty soon both of us had ended up top less. I was just starting to unbutton her pants when all of a sudden we
@TheWafflingDead, I was going to post about a recent “blood enema” I experienced, but you go on.
@TheWafflingDead, COULD HEAR OUR BAND DIRECTOR TALKING RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR. We both started scrambling, clawing at the floor trying to find out clothes since it was pitch black in the room. Then, the door knob started to turn, and we just froze in absolute fear. Then Lady Fortune smiled on us, and we heard one of our friends (who saw us go into the room and not come out for a while) ask him to come help him with a piece of music he had "been struggling with." Luckily, it worked, and it gave us enough time to get our sh!t together and sneak out of the room. Never been so terrified in my life
@SirLordKraftDinner, nice escape. Sexy indeed. But I have shagged in a 2007 toyota yaris hatchback with the back seats folded down.
@TheWafflingDead, onto the blood enema:
I ate a lot of food this week helping with food demos and sampling said demos at work. I also ate a shjtload of brie. The result was a fvcking cinder block in my åss. I pushed it out. There was a flame decal on the end of my 1995 buick roadmaster of a turd. I cut my åsshole! Don’t worry, happens all the time. So I go to bed. Some time passes, and I now start feeling I have diarrhea. Not critical, so I was proactive for once in my life and I went to the shjtter. I let her rip. All of my colon was purged. Stand up, look in the toilet, it’s all red. And my åsshole feels so clean. Blood enemas, man, they are great, but oh shjt.
@NameyMcNameFace, mine was waking up and realizing I'm still alive. It happens on a daily basis.
@NameyMcNameFace, here's another story about a hs gf! Me and her were hanging out on her room and her parents room was right next to hers. We were chilling in her bed watching a movie and after some time we wanted to have some sexcy time and she started giving me a handy under the covers. Now her dad is a big army guy, he was able to be pretty scary if he wanted to. I was facing away from the door and apparently her dad almost walked in, noticed what was happening, and walked out all in a quick moment. She didnt even tell me this until after we were done and hooooly shjt i was so scared to come out of that room. Im blessed to say I am still alive and he never really did anything, i know he was more of a peaceful guy but i definitely was expecting him to at least do something.
@420coolguy69, I woke up a half hour late for my final.
@TheWafflingDead, #storytime #bestcomments
"Ape not kill ape"
"YOU ARE NOT APE"
@Sexy Homunculus, Top 10 most Bad@ss One-Liners in Anime
Oh no... this is how they rise!
Ape not kill ape
Should just be:
_ _ _
@NotCaveJohnson, no it’s not a planet of the apes meme it’s a Sekiro meme. There’s a gorilla boss you fight once alone, then later again he calls his wife to help
Just look at Chicago...oh wait