Hey everyone, not to put a downer on things but I have PTSD, and today is a really shjt day for me. I keep getting flashbacks and really bad thoughts; that being said, i need a little pick me up. Reply the dirtiest, most offensive joke you know. Thanks guys!
@DinkIeberg, whats the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus stop?
@DinkIeberg, what's red, six inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her. Her miscarriage
@DinkIeberg, how do you get a black guy down from a tree? Cut the rope.
@Brave Sir Robin, what?
@Brave Sir Robin, seriously, what?
@DinkIeberg, one is a busty crustacean and one is crusty bus station!
@Brave Sir Robin, aaaaaahhhhh good one.
@DinkIeberg, I can feel the sarcasm emanating from my screen :) I thought it was so dumb it would make you laugh.
@Brave Sir Robin, no man that was good! Lol no sarcasm
@DinkIeberg, What's the best part about having sex with twenty-two year olds?
There's twenty of them.
@XDsmileyDX, ooooohhhh man, that was horrible! Thanks everyone!
@DinkIeberg, how do you know your sister is on her period? Your dads cock taste like blood!
@DinkIeberg, how does a black girl know when she pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon all the cottons been picked.
@DinkIeberg, do you know why there is Cotten in medicine bottles?
To remind black ppl they where Cotten pockets before they where drug dealers!
@DinkIeberg, I saw a black man carrying a television the other day. I thought, "Hey that's mine!" Then I remembered that mine was at home cleaning my house.
@DinkIeberg, what's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? I don't come on an orange before I skin and eat it.
@DinkIeberg, what's the difference between babies and strawberries?
Strawberries don't squirm when I put them in the blender...
@Scary Mikey, oh.
@Scary Mikey, "how dare you stand where he stood!"
@DinkIeberg, What's worse than a dumpster full of babies? There's one left alive at the bottom. What's worse than that? The baby has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.
@DinkIeberg, how do you make the little girl cry twice? When your finished, you wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
@DinkIeberg, what's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage
@DinkIeberg, how many blacks does it take to start a riot?
@DinkIeberg, A little girl comes to her father and complains "pappy! A strange man touched me at school today". Her father stops what he's doing and kneels down to her and says, "now sweetheart I need you to tell me everything that happened I promise you're not in trouble
"Well first he told me to sit on his lap"
And her father groans "oh god"
"Then he put his hand on my leg"
"Oh dear god!"
"And I could feel something poking up under me"
"Oh Jesus phuck! And then what sweetie?"
"Nothing after that"
"Well hurry and make something up, I haven't finished yet!"
@WilfredMott, hahaha, no but on serious note those Ferguson riots are just stupid.
@DinkIeberg, well, *psst psst whisper whisper mutter mutter* P.S., your vagina is in the sink!
@DinkIeberg, what's worse than twenty babies stapled to a tree??
One baby stapled to twenty trees.
@DinkIeberg, How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
@Shreknado, Hahaha *shjts pants* Ah, crap!
@DinkIeberg, *Reads long list of dirty jokes* *closes app, takes shower, goes to Church*
@DinkIeberg, *saves picture for the dirty jokes*
@DinkIeberg, how many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.
@WilfredMott, Dude... Given recent events, this took the cake for most offensive. You win, in my opinion. Lol
@Shreknado, I don't know if you know, but they actually told what this joke was. Not as good as I'd hoped 😕
@DinkIeberg, this one is a play on words but it still gets me; they say that oral may make your day, but anal makes your whole weak!
@DinkIeberg, what do you call a black man in a suit? the defendant
@DinkIeberg, What's funnier than a dead baby spinning on a rope at 200 mph? Stopping it with a shovel.
@DinkIeberg, What do you call 5 black guys having sex?
@Futt Buckery, who thinks Darren Wilson is guilty?
@XDsmileyDX, I just pooped😂
@DinkIeberg, what do you call four black guys in a red convertible? A kit Kat. What do you call two black guys in a red convertible? Half a kit Kat. What do you call one black guy in a red convertible? Thief!
I eat bread over a toaster so when the crumbs fall out BOOM. A retoast.
Wasn't the same saying on here just like 2 days ago 😕
This is a quote taken from Rhett and Link's, Good-Mythical-Morning!
@sushi fish, I'm glad someone else noticed haha
@sushi fish, came to the comments just to say this. Love them!
@sushi fish, this*
@therutabagaclub, I created my account just to mention his. Lol
@Metzger, I like it, it's like retoast that was reheated to the perfect amount
i dont want to self advertise but check out this video me and my bff ana made-- it would help A LOT!!! http://youtu.be/nMc661_GnQQ
My parents ridicule me for this. "One at a time! Don't be a pig!"
Why aren't we funding this
Gringo can't eat a taco....
Hey everyone, I don't like my username but I don't know what to change it to so I let you guys decide. The comment which gets the most thumbs up on this post will be my new username (if it doesn't fit completely I'll take as much letters as I can)
@overusedjokesniper, How bout RustyNippleClamps
@EatMyAss, Here is an upvote for that awesome suggestion
How about Dang Lee Weener?
@Slyfa, I knew asking the community was the right decision
I forgot to say that you've 24 hours for your suggestions and then I'll see who has the most upvotes
@Slyfa, you sir are way more creative than I am
Last one...gotta think of something good... BootyBreaker69!
@Slyfa, thank you for all of your suggestions. They were all good. I especially like your last one.
@overusedjokesniper, drugs not hugs?
@overusedjokesniper, chicken nuggs and drugs?
I'm sorry guys but EatMyAss and Slyfa had three upvote on one of their suggestions so I'll have to give it another try. Watch out for it on another picture
Boom Clap!!! 🎵
Why haven't I thought of this...
@Padawon510, Its a great idea innit