I radio the jet fighters to change targets to Cthulhu, and with my necklace of charisma, I need only roll a 3 or higher to unleash a hailstorm of sidewinders and AP rounds. In your face DM.
@John Titor, broken arrow.
@John Titor, ah, but you see, Cthulhu's diceshock ability makes you have to roll the 4 sided die in all dice rolls. Your move, John.
@Captaincowtj, a 50/50 chance? You make this too easy DM. Did you forget my Gauntlets of Duality allow me two rolls for dice under 8 sides? I'm willing to bet my life for those odds, are you willing to bet your champion?
@John Titor, you forget that Cthulhu's geas of fear causes all failed dice rolls to result in critical failure, are you willing to take that risk?
@John Titor, what will our brave hero do
@Captaincowtj, oh DM you seem to have forgotten my traveling companion, Dudley the Unlucky. He is called such, as you surely recall, from his passive trait Enchantment of the Graceless. Wherever a stray arrow flies or a wild melee is released, he happens to find himself in harms ways. And so critical failure would unfortunately be directed towards him. Additionally, the roll of a 6 or higher would allow resuscitation after victory thanks to his mantra "Dwarven Stubbornness." Even after falling to Cthulhu's wrath, using a vial of greater smelling salts will return my vanquished companion unharmed. The odds remain in my favor, DM, what else do you have up your sleeve?
@John Titor, YOUR MOTHER RANDOMLY JOINS
@stealthapotomous, so many missiles
@John Titor, *DM eyes you angrily* fine then, a chunk of a flying island falls out of the sky onto you, crushing you completely. FVCK you dave
@John Titor, Let's go big boy. Fight me right now.
@John Titor, @captaincowtj, neither of you had ever played D&D when you posted this, had you?
Am I the only one who can't stop looking at this magnificent portrayal of the almighty cthulu?
@chippy14789, All Hail The Dark Lord Cthulhu.
When the bard keeps trying to screw everything.
Seriously, no one is going to talk about the pictures of human faces on its palms?
Oh, well would you look at that? Someone finally got a clear photo of me.
As a DM, I can confirm this will be in my latest campaign.
All hail the 5th chaos god!
Tactical retreat back to orbit, exterminatus the planet