*someone does not text back: they wish I was dead.
@Super Hans, I tend to go to the "they are dead" route....
@Conan34, I like to think that everything is my fault and the world hates me.
@Super Hans, oh. Most of my friends live far away and I would really have no way of knowing if they died.... So I get freaked out
Holy Fvck, I'm not the only one who does this
@daveguy11, hypochondriacs, unite!
Falling asleep on my arm: great never going to use this again
The last one.. The last one is psychic. I said that yesterday. 😂😂😂😂
What happens if Jesus comes back but they abort him?
@Sebastian Pumpernickle, maybe god should stop raping women and then this wouldn't be a problem
@Sebastian Pumpernickle, Please tell me you got that from Always Sunny.
@Slijkster, I'm pretty sure Mary was asked first.
@CriTiKa1, sorry, I just thought of that because of the pic. I've never watched ASiP.
@CriTiKa1, she was not asked, she was told.
@copdeeznutz, Luke 1:38, And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
She was told it was going to happen and she accepted it, that doesn't seem like rape to me.
Whenever a cop walks by me and a group of friends we all say to someone on the group "dude the cop knows you're high" even if he isnt
*passes test without cheating, still amounts to nothing.*
I was like, ok... ok... ok...ok...ok...ok...ok...no can't say I've ever had that problem
I just got a sunburn yesterday and number 6 couldn't be more true
*someone leaves the toilet seat up* "its like I never even existed! My life is a lie!"
@Viral Oreo, *slowly fades away*
This person's got anxiety to the max
*has a seizure*: ... (Unconscious so I can't really think of anything)
I read these in a monotone voice and that made it so much better. And for some reason I read the last one in a guy voice.
This reminds me of the time a teacher's handbag got stolen from in school and the police came down and took a bunch of fingerprints. I had never even seen that bag before but was terrified that my fingerprints would have somehow been on there
Dude get out of your own head this is horrifying, like the exact way to lead an unhappy life
Behold, the mantras of Tumblr
I can relate to some of these but not all. Got meds to help with that.