If I faked coughed, would you stay home with me too??
@ TouchMyCatEars, bitch I got bills to pay
@Natural Sarcasm , 💵💵💵 here you go!
@ TouchMyCatEars, yeah I’m sure the vet will take that... you know what no wet food for like a week I’m late for work
@ TouchMyCatEars, fake coughed? No
Played with my balls? Probably
@Natural Sarcasm , you will pay dearly for this.. 😾
@ TouchMyCatEars, OH! Some attitude then! *pulls out tiny squirt gun and shoots* let’s make it two weeks!
@ TouchMyCatEars, Bruh you don't need to fake cough. I'd take a homie day.
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, I'll gargle your balls
@Natural Sarcasm , just when I was bout to offer you some sexy squirts you go and threaten the bad ones! How rude!
@ TouchMyCatEars, *calls in sick*
@SimonPetrikov, awww! Did you make sure to stock to the cupboard with plenty of Temptations treats and Fancy Feast?
@ TouchMyCatEars, oh you think I’m so easily swayed? Sexy time first then we’ll discuss wet food privileges, right now you’ll be lucky to get that pate shjt, you behave and maybe I’ll throw in some fancy feast gravy plates
@Natural Sarcasm , fine! show me the Fancy Feast and I'll show you this pussy!
@ TouchMyCatEars, *taps can and barely breaks the seal of the gravy lovers meal* Your move
@Natural Sarcasm , *squinty eyes* I'm wet and ready but you seem to be doubtful..
@ TouchMyCatEars, Only cause it sounds like I’m trying to fvck my cat... I might have to tap out now
@ TouchMyCatEars, lol on a completely separate note how are you? With everything going on I just wanted to check in
@Natural Sarcasm , lol, if I really was your cat you would be trying to bang me and I'd be ok with it. And I'm okay, just okay. Takin it day by day. How are you doing in this crazy time??
@ TouchMyCatEars, I’m doing alright myself, glad to hear you’re doing okay though even if it is just okay. Last time we talked you were having those relationship problems so I thought I should touch base
I stay home when pets or wife is (faking) sick. Kids still go to school until I believe they're sick.
@ TouchMyCatEars, depends. When we get back from the vet, are you on my lap or arm or chest? Is your chin resting on my shin. If any of these are true then I have no choice but to call in sick. I am immobilized.
@ TouchMyCatEars, *walks in wearing pajamas and slippers carrying a bowl of popcorn* waaaaaay ahead of ya friend
@ TouchMyCatEars, only if wearing a mask is considered safe sex
Because he knew you cared
Coughing isn’t something that is alarming at first (work with dogs for a living) it’s hard to articulate the actual sound a dog makes when it’s vet worthy but 9/10 times it’s nothing to worry about
My dog did that too. Cost $1,000 though.
He’s a faker boi!
@megamanx181x, “she said see you later boi”
Tell your boss he needs to come to work with you to avoid future incidents