As a Witness we find this stuff pretty amusing at least. At least I do. Also protip if you sleep during the day leave the porchlight on and we won't knock!
@X4N4T05, You da real MVP
@X4N4T05, my mom's side of the family are witnesses and, while maintaining respect, my dad and I probably make these jokes more than the internet does!
@X4N4T05, not trying to be rude or funny or anything. I'm honestly curious. How often does it work? I mean, forgive me if I'm wrong, but don't you go door to door to convert and share Jesus? Something like that? How often do people chat with you and convert or whatever? Unfortunately, I'm very ignorant to most religions so please bear with me. Sorry to waste your time. Hope you're having a great day(:
@X4N4T05, *leaves porch light on forever*
@normally weird, it's not a rude question. :) honestly it's a very common misconception about witnesses that our goal in our ministry is to 'convert'. If someone does, of course we find joy in that, but our real focus in the door to door work is to encourage people to read their bibles and to help answer common questions people have. Over the years I've had many, many very interesting, enjoyable conversations with people who never converted to a jehovahs witness. *I hope this helps a bit. Obviously I am also a witness, and yes, we do laugh at the witness jokes. :p*
@normally weird, It's a good question and like the other guy said our aim is to encourage bible reading and study. We teach what the bible says, and if the person is interested enough and wants to they'll get baptized as a JW. We also do a lot more besides knocking on doors in an effort to reach everybody with our message.
@discount clown shop, to be honest, that's probably more of a certain area thing. Witnesses in my area will still knock.
@X4N4T05, and why is that?
To caress or not to caress, that is the question
@Scout410, ballsy move 👏 👏 👏
@Scout410, I am the one who knocks
Knocks them balls
Sorry that was forced
Do your balls hang low? do they wobble to the flo
@duckingfumbass, can you tie em in a knot can you tie em in a bow?
I live in Utah. I could very much use one of these for those mormon creatures.
@MasterDebater12, I somehow doubt that. There are no more missionaries in Utah than there are elsewhere within the country, not to mention we don't go door to door like Jehovah's Witnesses do. (Btw, calling people "creatures" is terribly rude regardless of the context.)
@Magnamon, first of all I really didn't mean to insult Mormons. You guys are Christians too and I respect that. I forget I can't joke online like I can to my actual mormon friends. But secondly, being in a military family we've lived I Ohio, Florida, utah, and Germany and we've had missionary come to our door at some point every place we've live except when it was base housing.
@MasterDebater12, I also have Mormons that come to our house. I think it's because my grandfather is a Mormon? But it's weird my grandpa is Mormon and my grandmother catholic... And we're Methodist. Is that weird?
@ForeverBuckskin, haha no. To each their own. I'm Christian but I don't claim a religion. I go to a different church almost every week. I even go to church with my mormon friends sometimes.
Or they could, you know, knock on the door itself?
@Duke Of SamJax, apparently that's waaaaay too advanced.
@Srircha , Meant to upvoted sorry. Think of it as a red upvoted, with s minus instead of a plus!
I'd hit it
As a professional burgler who dresses as a witness to gain entry into homes, I suggest you beat them up on site just to be safe. If theyre true believers, God will protect them.
Now....how do I keep missionaries away? (I hope I spelled that right?)
But how do you stop them from licking those balls?
"Hey, why are you sucking on my door"
Ah, Scary Movie 2, when it was actually funny...