Ellen should play violent, illegal pranks on guests so we can call her show "Ellen is a Fvcking Murderer"
"A ton of people is literally 12 to 15 people"
Normally it'd be like 8 to 10
3 to 4 if you look in the right place(s)
@SqurtieMan, Walmart sounds like the right place
I have preferences, okay?
@SqurtieMan, ^ mmmk, that comment wins
@SqurtieMan, one if you get your mom
Cooking pans are on fire.
Alcohol has never "borrowed happiness from tomorrow" for me. If anything, it's just manufactured stability. I'd like a word with whomever is brewing the stuff.
How do we know two presidents never got it on? The government is probably just keeping it under wraps.
"If Hillary Clinton wins in 2016"
@I Broke Benjamin, so obviously this is older than the election.
Because beef only comes from a cow where as tuna is a type of fish and there are many types of fish, I didn't finish it I just didnt want to
Give your stomach some variety and swallow potatoes whole
This is absolutely remarkable and I’m using it for a business purposal for word class genocide act of 2030 to take place in full affect soon... good day everyone
Celebrity names are portmanteaus, made by taking the first half of one word and the second half of another. Therefore, Katniss and Peeta would be either Katta or Peeniss, not Katpee. It’s ‘Brangelina’, not ‘Brang’.
Isn’t “fat chance” used sarcastically?
According to film theroy the simpsons takes place in Ohio, so its not a completly ridiculous idea
What is my bottom jaw is on a counter?
“Why aren’t phone chargers called apple juice?”
Because there is more phones besides Apple phones dumbass
@InterestingPun , well, they did say "iPhone chargers".
I live in Hawaii, no Puerto Rico, no cuba, no Jamaica, no wait, there are a lot of places in North America where not all driveways connect
Somebody doesn't drink properly if they're borrowing their happiness from tomorrow.
Exercise or not if I could fly I would be all over that.