Guys, today is my 30th bday. I'm trying to get enough upvotes to get CatEars to drive 2 hours to give me a naked lap dance.
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, ill give you a naked lap dance for about $3.50
@GunLovingMerican, she probably will too, step your game up
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, fvcking nice!!!! Happy Birthday my man! Fvck I’m older by a few months! enjoy today!!! Question is, do you really want this lap dance? No seriously, how bad do you like your dick? Cuz she will snatch it and RUN
@GunLovingMerican, nice try, Loch Ness Monstaaa
@seeUpee, and long as she puts it to good use, I'll be happy.
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, wow man! My dick and I are such pals I could never do my best friend like that... you know she just going to use it a few times, get bored and throw it in the closet with the rest? Quick! sprinkle it with some catnip, maybe she will get too high to run away with it in her mouth
@seeUpee, I ain't even seen this woman and I can sense through the app she's a fvcking sexy Latina. My man down there would be happy to die with dignity
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, she a freak for sure... but sexy latina? I dunno about that dude... do tell tho
@seeUpee, Latinas are my kryptonite. I can smell her straight through my phone. And she smell gooooooddd. I'll try to get a pic of her to confirm my suspicion
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, does she smell like fresh tortillas straight off the stove?
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, you better record it if she does
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, shjt bro, I was in Indian Rocks Beach all day car shopping! I sowwy. I love you tho. Happy bday!
Oh and if they let me wear a costume at HHN imma be Officer CatEars and I'll cuff and strip search you. 😘😘😘
@ TouchMyCatEars, fvcking FINALLY!!! Jk, thanks for the well wishes, thigh. And I think they let you wear costumes but not masks. And if you strip search me, were both getting kicked out from what'll happen next.
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, I'm totally fine with that! It aint a good story if you dont get kicked out of whatever place you're at! 💜💜
Doggo to the past