*throws stripper* It's working!
@I shjt you not, Hey!!!
@I shjt you not, I've got a wall... I guess I can throw that.
@I shjt you not, I have a built redhead dude
@I shjt you not, i have toilet paper
@I shjt you not, I have a sword on my left right now, I win!
Well I guess I'm beating him with my pants and tank top! DIE FOUL BEAST I SHALL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH THE POWER OF THE PANTS!!!! Among other things...
@I shjt you not, i just like how everyone has to say i shjt you nots user name and it makes us all sound like were really excited about what we have.
@bubbles the stripper, nice
Well guess my dogs gonna have too bite his face before he gets mine!
@I shjt you not, dude I got Cotten balls on a scale of 1-10 I'm very fcked
@Cpzombie, As do I; I have my saber right here(it's a saber used for fencing, but it still works XD)
@I shjt you not, I have a B̨̥̣͇̭ͦ̓̾̒̈́ͤ̀̓͝ạ͎̹͙͓̠̹͙ͯnͦ̔̐̊͒͞͏̦̣̭̣̖͍a͎͍̖̘͍̬͉̳̽̅̌̂͞ņ̧̺̥̫̤̣͍͓̘ͦ͟a̓҉̶̰̳
*Looks at hands* Which one is my left?!?!?! Somebody tell me!!!
@R0n1n21, the one you don't fap with
@TreeOctopus, except for those lucky few who can charge two watches at the same time
@Deadpoolfist , At the same time? So he has two?
@Presidents Bodyguard, maybe it is extraordinarily long
@Deadpoolfist , Come on, lets be realistic. That's really long, which is more likely?
@Presidents Bodyguard, or both arms are weak and they swap after 2 minute intervals
@TreeOctopus, unless he's left handed like me
I'll plunger the hell out of his brain
@Macatak, Always works on dead rising. Go for it!
@Macatak, stapler I'm safe
Toilet paper? Yeah I'm screwed!
@The Fact Sphere, lol i have a tissue box
@The Fact Sphere, looks like I'm beating him into oblivion with.....my puppy. am I allowed to pick something else?
@The Fact Sphere, *looks left sees pentagram* yeah hes going down
@The Fact Sphere, I've got toilet paper too. Let's team up!
@Patter, 'I shjt you not' already threw her
@Draco MaIfoy, I laughed at that more than I should considering we're talking about my sister
@Draco MaIfoy, OH DAMN!!
Don't worry Patter, I had already paid her.
@Patter, you must sacrifice the weak so the strong will live
@Ice Deliverer, Dude, you had so much potential just then with that username!
My cat?? Challenge accepted...
Go, dinosaur sippy cup, go
Toilet paper? Sh!t's going down
@rumpelstiltskin, I see what you did there...
Dead rising finally comes in handy! Time to put this dildo to use
@Sir rufflebottom, dildo launcher!!
@Sir rufflebottom, dildo bat. Thanks for the idea saints row
My Spanish vocab, helpful.
@CSC, I guess you could bore it to death...?
A 2kg tub of protein powder. I'm about to give that zombie the work out of it's unlife.
I WILL SMITE HIM WITH MY SOFA OF COMFY
@The 22nd Doctor, you... I like you...
My wife...meh...I'm good. He'll be to full to eat me.
Sooooo how would I throw a wall???
@Jar Of Dirt, You'll need some muscle first.
I actually have a replica Elucidator and Dark Repulser sitting together to my left, so that zombie is screwed.
@Paper, I to have a sword to my left
I have a gun safe do I use the guns or the safe
@Firehose, Why not both*Mexican music plays*
A Bat'leth. FVCK YEAH!
I got a pretzel stick. Let's do this sh!t.
Throw my kid and run
Lol a wallet! I'll bribe him.
My penis will do
@BabaBooey, I take it you too are on the toilet.
@King Maximilian, no
@BabaBooey, Boy, that escalated quickly.
Looks like this zombie is going to get a face full of SI Swimsuit magazines...
So I have a stuffed angry bird toy... I guess I could launch it at the zombie.
A pillow... But if it was to my right I'd be okay. Lava lamps can cause some serious brain damage.
Very screwed there's a screwdriver next to me *ba dum tss* okay I'll show myself out
*throws my pudgy french bulldog* best I got
Hell yes in bed with a baseball bat beside me
@Typhoon222, Why? Just... Why?
@asmb100, anythings a dildo if your brave enough
An ice pickaxe?
A loaded shotgun? Well thats convenient.
Fvck, I got tin foil
A baby bouncer
A shovel. I can dig it
... *Throws cat at him*
Walking dead replica sword. F*ck yeah!
I have a chair... I'm going to live!!!!
Toilet roll GO!
I shall strangle him with my blanket
A stuffed unicorn....shiiiiiit
A replica of the World Heavyweight championship.... It worked in the Rock.
Oh well... Pillow fight!!!
Every damn time I see these, I am laying in bed and a freaking pillow is my weapon.
Lovely, I get to throw my teddy bear. How useful.
Gallon jug of Arizona tea... I'm screwed
My weapon is a garden hose
I have Doritos..?
I have a garbage can... *puts upside down on top of zombie* problem solved?
Toothpaste to the rescue
@MANTHEHARPOON, but... I love lamp.
@SpaghettiCunt, but do you reeeeeeealy love lamp
Dumb bell I think I'll be ok
A bowl of cookie dough. I'll warm his heart with deliciousness?
My 2 year old sister ... I think I win
A towel. A freaking towel. I am very screwed.
A Wendy's Double. I hope he likes extra pickles.
I only have one shot with this football then
My 8 month old
@Blue Caterpillar, you know what to do
Dove moisturiser, I'm screwed...
A bowl full of water hmmm better chuck it and hope he's a witch
@Penface, why exactly do you have a bowl of water
@Penface, if its a witch then we burn her!
A wii remote...
A pillow. God damn it
A bag..... Im screwed!!!
I have a mic on my headset
A metal fork.
Lol i dont think a bag of chips and water will suffice
I have a door rug. I will win this.
Okay lotion and tissue box here's your time to shine.
A jizz rag...
Snickers....he'll change into a friendly one that I put on a leash so that I blend in with the zombies...
I know, I'll choke him out with my usb cord!
My shower curtain...great.
To the left teddy bear to the right shotgun dang
A SH!T TON OF CACTI! BRING IT ON!
Object to my left is a book of black magic spells I think I'm good.
What am I gonna do with a filing cabinet?
Well I'm in my organic chemistry lab and there's a bottle of concentrated sulfuric acid to my left.... It might work
Railroad spike and an oil heater, I'm pretty confident in those weapons...
Oh god my PS3 controller
A bowling ball. STRIKE!
Well I'm gonna have a zombie pillow fight.
I'm in the car. To my left is the door... *rips door off hinges*
Ahh pillow, we end how we started today, with you murdering zombies
My M134 Minigun? Because 'Murica
I am holding a pencil.
A Nokia phone. I'm good with this
Special K pastry crisps
I'm good, my kinesiology book will bore him to death
A paper shredder. Come at me, zombie scum!
Pickled onion monster munch! Rub that sh!t in his cuts! Winner!
It's a blanket but I guess I could throw it over his face and run away. After I fvck everything of course
Haha, I have a sonic screwdriver! Lol
I don't think pillow cases will save me...
Pretty screwed consider my classmate may not want to be a weapon.
Does it have to be to my left? To my left are oven mitts, what the heck am I supposed to do with oven mitts??? But to my right is a chainsaw...
@drawAline2UandMe, why the fvck is your kitchen in the garage. Bitch better be grilling.
Well im fvcked im in solitary confinement
@Dartmaster720, so did you suitcase the phone you're using at the moment?
@lemmiwinks, maybe dont rat me out
The chick that's to my left better have a gun or something.
My ka-bar knife? I think I'm good
I have a sword...
@natzu, I have a sword too!
Im at a barber, its hair
Dead homeless guy with needles sticking out his arm...
Is mayonnaise a weapon? No Patrick mayonnaise is not a weapon
A door. But...He just busted it down. Fack
I got my bed sheets...
To my left is a couple of samori swords, I think I'll be fine
Fairy tail celestial spirit keys!!!
Sweet my Smith and Wesson M&P 15 I'm all good
Paper cut that dude to death, with my birthday card of power!!!!
Nasal tissue! FEAR THE TISSUE!
A 17 year old girl on my bus? ...lets not. Her backpack could help though! :D
Well on my left is the ceiling so I'm either completely screwed or... Yah I'm screwed
All I have is my teddy bear...
I've got a badass dagger to my left. I've got this.
Great I'll use this 2x4. Why I have it here? I have no clue
Well 90% of people will either end up with a shower curtain or toilet paper as their weapon...
I have a fan a chair and computer witch to choose
A recliner... The zombie is fvcked beyond belief
I CANT THROW THIS WALL. FVCK
.44 mag is under my night stand... It's to my left, does that count?
No kidding, machete. Im prepped for this very situation.
I got a remote
Yo I have an alarm clock that will knock him out in the nick of time! Ha! Haha! Ha....ha...guys?
I am in my car, so my door? If that doesn't count, I have a bush. I'm pretty screwed.
Baby bottle. FUUUUU-
I guess I could just throw my cat at him.
Oh darn just my grandfather well he is a veteran
A bottle of beer fvck yeah!!
My fist....my dream is to fight a zombie in hand to hand combat!
A box of tissues
@Not tellin, *insert mr bean face*
This jar of honey should slow him down... Why can't I just use the handgun on my right?
Well my small dog is next to me
Throws bathtub and runs
A sandwhich... well at least it tastes good...
Ohh some toilet paper. What will I make him a mummy
I am good. I have a .45 Cal pistol next to me.
I have a bag of haribo starmix, I feel I may be the one bursting through your door at some point
Put it in his face and knock him over. Start kicking his head in.
Didn't say I couldn't use my feet.
Could illegal liqueur be considered a weapon?
I guess I'll be b*tch slapping that zombie, cuz my dog (which is female) is lying next to me.
Whoops sent too early and autocorrect fvcked it up
I'm right handed, why in zombie hell would I grab something to my left?
A wall. A motherf caki
i would have a pen or book
A pillow? Damn!t!
A knife... I am so screwed.
The remote would be my weapon. The real question is "how fast will it take this thing to rip me limb from limb"
A fridge... Hmm
Toilet paper. So very.
OH SHlT SON!! Ima live! I love being the Dragonborn, I have my favorite Machete already in my left hand!
there's a baby to my left...
I have a pillow... But I'm a marble so...
But I love my dog...
Cinder block wall. I guess I get a cinder block?
Its a cup
Um does anyone know how to kill a walker with a granola bar?
I actually have a katana hanging on my left from when I visited Japan, not that screwed.
I trust my cat to protect me... "The Calico Warrior"
My purse. I'm good lol
well by good chance I just shot him in the head.
ITS MY PILLOW
"Here kitty kitty kitty..."
Paper. Goodbye world
I have a wall... I'm doomed.
I got a lamp
A couch. Sh!ts going down
Fridge. I win.
I'm so down with using a bathroom sink
Well first off, He would be screwed because I just used this "toy" to screw his mom if you know what I mean...... Giggity
TEddy if you kill this zombie I'll give you a treat!
My pool cue.
I have two cold steel katanas on the wall to my left. I'm screwed!
The heavy wooden bookcase next to my door. Flip that shjt over and I have a barricade!
Cat with claws... I will survive
My cat. If she's in the mood to fight then I'm not screwed at all
A large dresser drawer, a deadly weapon in the hands of those who are worthy.
I wonder how well this couch will work
Cause of death, beat by cat
A wall... Think I'll be fine
I'll beat him to death with my kitty!
I have a couch....awesome
My left hand? Ill be fine.
A Bowie knife, no joke! =)
A hair brush
Since most of us are on the toilet, the objects to our left is toilet paper...
I got a table!
It's a plastic spoon in a plate of black beans and rice with spicy rotel tomatoes .-.
Co2 airsoft pistol
Well I'm on the toilet and there is a digital weight scale right next to me... Better use a sharpened tooth brush lol
A pile of dirty clothes and paints with the belt still on and about 2lbs of stuff in the pockets...
My cat? I'll take it.
Hmmmm I have toilet paper to my left
We'll looks like I gotta beat a motherfvcker with a fridge....
I think I'm capable of beating a zombie to death with a role of toilet paper...
I'm fine I have a gun to my left......
I got a pillow
A plastic bottle.....
I'm at work and I have a Bob cat to my left. I think I'll be ok.
PlayStation controller... I'm fvcked
A bag of spitz, wonderful
Empty coffee cup, fvck
A blow torch ?
I have a knife to my left. Win, I guess?
Paper. *throws paper at zombie, it decapitates him! Wow, that's one hell of a paper cut!
A chair, not bad
Uploader's name how I met your mother reference?
My cat is sleeping to the left of me... think i'll be fine ^_^ he'll eat that zombie for dinner
Jokes on you! I can use a wall as a weapon now!
I just got finished softball practice. My bag is to my left. I have to medal bats.
@madhattan13, *two or 2
My dog is not a good weapon, too fluffy.
I have a table so yeah
My sister? I'm going to hit one ****** with another ******
Dog and T.V., fvck yeah
Very screwed since there is nothing on my left
My dog that's afraid of toilet paper. Literally.
Uhhh, toilet paper?
A tact flip knife... Im all set
A lamp and a belt hmm this could work
So I'm going Saints Row on this bitch with The Penetrator
Dont fail me know laptop!
... I get a pebble... I'm dead.
iPad let's go
An APUSH text book. I'm perfectly okay with this
Great! Just fvcking great: a wall 😞
@Lvl 80 paladin, why are you on the ceiling right now
@Barnacle MAN, he might be on the floor on his right side
@Supdalat, not necessarily. After all, he IS level 80.
I have my bow to my right and my alarm clock to the left...
@Alletaire, a hair bow
@traveler of time, no a recurve that launches projectiles
@Alletaire, i am just joshing, i just sold mine, love bows
@traveler of time, I am also a lover of bows. I course my first bow found out that I got a secondary bow, and ever since our relationship has been spiraling downwards...
If I spread this lube in the floor he'll slip and fall... success.
1 April 2014 #1April2014
Pic Rating: 2/10
Mines a pug..
Luckily I have my trusted.....backgammon board! Well, that's the end of me.
My penis....wait, what
Well I'm in the car...
Awesome sauce! I just got my cold steel Gladius machete! Perfect.
I am in a truck and there's an empty gatorade bottle, empty soda can, and half-full gatorade bottle.
Not my laptop!! NooOoooOoo! I think I'll just let him eat me.
Am good I got cz75 to my left
What's Facebook doing here
I'm not joking, The thing to my left is a flintlock.
I have a pillow. I'm gonna die.
A sock. Yayz
I'm gonna beat him with a pillow
A fvcking pillow again
I guess I could slap him with a camera right?
Thanks apple for making some pretty sturdy keyboards...
I'm good cause I have my 9mm right next to me. Loaded.
I have my cz75 p0-1 one my left
TV remote so... Yeah I'm pretty screwed
A m good I got my cz 75 p0-1 full of 9 mm hallow points
GUINEA PIGS. ATAAAAAAAACK
Nothing to my left
I literally have a genuine katana i got for my birthday, sitting in its open case on my bedside..... I win 😎
In the gym, dumbell, to my left "I think I'll be fine
Car scratching post club
My sleeping girlfriend, huh DISTRACTION SWEET
The only thing to my left is a roof ledge... so suicide it is
Well your mum is quite a good weapon...
I have a wardrobe to my left, which looks like the one in Narnia... Cya bjtches, I'm off!
My little brother... I will live
Haha, my boyfriend... Sacrifices must be made...
Good thing im a murican and sleep with all my guns
All I've got is a curtain. I guess I could blind it and kick it out.
My mom ftw, I showed her and she said he would be screwed
My door is the weapon.
I'm lying on my side *grasps at air*
Am I the only one that never has anything to my left when one of these show up of funnypics?
A subway cup
I'll be ok. Im in a truck.
@RadioactiveAngel, same, but I feel like it be more affective then you think.. Whether he gets eaten or claws him to death, you can run
Well it looks like im gonna fight the zombie apocalypse with a soda can
A Pringles can. Filled with chips. Welp, better eat them before him!
I've got a laptop
My volleyball team
Yay im not screwed! I got my shotgun *hugs shotgun* you come in handy *laughs* some many puns...
I have my stair bannister. One problem: it's heavy as fvck
Portal gun replica....WORK DAMMIT YOU WORK....oh wait...
I've got a pillow...
Haha my ac machine.
A fat class mate.
I actually have a knife
I can mummify them with my toilet papery goodness
This is awesome cause there is actually a chainsaw next to me
My grandmother...I'm fvcked
Wall, I got this
A car door! Does that count as the car? Either I will have a sick shield or the best killing machine.
Hey look a bow :D
its a bible
@J0K3R13, Those mother fuc*ers need Jesus
Do you think garden clippers will do?
I have a metal baseball bat... and a gun....
@PhilosoCat, jk about the gun
My left fist? I'll be fine
Welp I'm having a pillow fight with a zombie!
*stabs with sister's barbie* Well that went over smoothlye
Hand sanitizer. You dirty!! Zombie!!
My sword. Oh. I think I'll be fine.
*throws girlfriend* like these pussy
Well i could use mister wall to defend myself
Toilet paper roll
Fortunately I'm cleaning my rifle...
I got a machete.. i think im good!
My weapon is toilet paper
Ive got a window
I have got 3 things next to me a replica bilbo knife from LOR a strong good lengthed walking stick and a laundry basket yeah i think im good
A pillow fight with a zombie... This will not end well
My dog is my weapon. Hm I may actually survive!
I'm left-handed, so fyck it, I'm going out with a smile and a healthy dose of shame.
aww not my cat blanket
Lava lamp and alarm clock. I think only partly screwed
Apparently it's time to duel
My teddybear.. Yea I'm fvcked
Now how the fvck am I supposed to throw a 75 gallon fish tank??
@Gay Hippopotamus , dump it over and grab the broken glass its simple
*looks left* *sees empty toilet paper roll* well I'm screwed either way
I was scratching my beard... So yeah, I think I'm pretty much good.
Throws BIG friend IT'S WOKING
Well, seeing how most of us are on the toilet...most aren't in good condition. Mine is a thick shower curtain.
There are like a thousand people with cats on funnypics
a ps3 controller
My clawless cat... I'm screwed
*proceeds to throw large quantities of toilet paper.*
Dammit! I've got a fupping pillow! *realizes heroic destiny*
The object to my left is a fvcking wall
Well that's good considering I have a machete next to me.
*throws wall and misses*
Bathtub..I need to build my upper body strength for this
12 ga. I think nor
Titan fall collectors statue to the brain
I'm actually prepared... I have a bat
I literally just got done priming my .22 lol
Good thing my cousin Bob Bobington left his nokia on the couch ... I got an account to post on this pic
I got a lamp, so I am pretty set
A musical stand, a lamp, and/or a piano... hmmmm decisions decisions...
Its a good thing I always keep my lazor cannon of death to my left. *misses 80 times and gets eaten anyway.
A sink. How am I supposed to use a sink.
I have a wall motha fukas!!!
We'll my door is what's next to me soo...
A couch pillow..... Well, I'm dead.
A knife, yeah! Well if I am correct this is a zombie and zombie hates O- blood and I have O- blood, so I am safe and don't need a weapon.
Fire ax from a Panama fireman. Nice
My printer? Hell yeah!
It's our time to shine mr. chair!
I have a pack of balloons...
The first true blood book and my remote... Pretty screwed
An empty tank shell?
@Sir rufflebottom. You have a dildo sir???
Coloring pencils. Fear the colors of the rainbow!
:D I has a metal baseball bat
Pillow slap a bitch!!
A seat belt... Damn
A tuna sandwich..
My little sister...
A Gatorade bottle -_-
i'll be throwing toilet paper, just like most of the people looking at this pic
A sink... I'm screwed
My machete was resting nicely by my left, so I'll be fine
I have a sword, a tomahawk, and a machete hanging on the wall to the left of me... I might make it... If i can decide which one to use in time
my polypropelene Escrima Sticks? bring it on, zombie.
@A ball, it Semites before I could finish typing. What it was was a textbook
@A ball, submitted* I am just not having a good day
@A ball, why does your autocorrect change it to Semites?!? Lol
@bacontastic, I don't know
A cordless drill...should do the trick.
Pure steel ball
A bread knife...
Yes i got something pointy!
My PC should do the trick
Well it ain't even my rig but it'll do a bunch of damage
A car door...effective if I can get it off these hinges
A satellite dish that I'm building.
A large box of knives... Sweet
A chair... I'm not screwed at all!
Ehhh not so much. I got a desk on my left.
I have an electrical outlet, something to plug into it, and some Scissors. I think I'm safe.
I have a chair
@The Gamesphere, are you sitting on the floor then? Lol
@Imaginedragons, employee break room