What about take-out orders?
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, you: "can I see the kids menu"
@Vegetable Soup, I’m just going to hand you my account
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, no, I'm not as good as you at being a creep
@Vegetable Soup, well you’re getting pretty good. Keep it up
@DwayneTheCockJohnson, that's very kind. It means a lot coming from a pedophile ❤️
@“Vegetable” Soup, I only use kids to get Trix
Me:*lays on table* yep this feels good
Him: sir you’re not dead and we don’t condone suicide
Me:*sighs, fiddles with shirt pocket pulls out a 5*
Him: right this way sir would you like to be cremated or do you want to be placed in a coffin?
Me: whichever one hurts more
Me: *pulls out a Washington*
Him: cremation it is
"I'm here to pick up my date!"
"Sir, this is a morgue"
"I know" 😏
Ahem, i want to die and be buried NOW please.
Did I stutter
*stuffs gun in mouth*
I didn't stutter