So on an unrelated note, I learned recently that I have severe social anxiety when it comes to talking to women, specifically regarding potential relationships/love interests.
Basically, I like this girl and I know she's aware of this(thanks to the "assistance" of a mutual coworker/friend), yet every opportunity I get to finally ask her if she feels the same, I get this exsistential dread for absolutley no reason and end up shying away. Every. Single. Time.
Not really looking for advice or anything, just needed a place to vent my frustrations.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, well first of all, you don't just walk up to a girl and say "I know you've heard that I like you, do you feel the same?"
You go out on a few casual dates and see where it goes, especially if it's someone you work with
@Not him again, My problem is I can't bring myself to even bring up "casual dates". The closest I've gotten was asking if she was free on a particular day, and when she said she had plans, my mind immediatley took the first out and went "Ok that's fair sorry for bugging you" and dipped out.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, if you're that unsure, try and get a group thing going. That's how I've met most of my past girlfriends. But I also don't really give a rats ass if I get rejected. Can't win em all
@Not him again, I really do appreciate trying to help, but I think you're missing my point friend.
It's not a fear of rejection, or me being unsure of what could happen, it's an irrational fear. It's something that I full well understand makes no sense whatsoever, and despite knowing this it still manages to overcome my desire to be loved.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, love letter might help? I know you weren't looking for advice but sometimes writing it out is romantic.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, I'm not sure if this'll help you, but I've always found the key is to find a shared interest or activity and focus solely on that. Don't think of "dating" or "I like her", but just "hanging out with a pal". Usually just having a good time with someone will make it just a bit easier to be a little more like yourself unintentionally.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, as stupid and ignorant as this sounds, try alcohol. For quite a while i had to have had a drink before i could talk with anyone face to face while maintaining eye contact.
Then I realized that if I drank something I could make conversation no problem.
So I started to adept my drunk behavior into my sober self and now I feel way better. Fake it till you make it.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, I write it down. Forget what it says. Hand it to her. Walk away knowing it is telling her why I'm walking away. If she's worth it. I say she'll understand. That's how I work. I'm terrified of people knowing I like someone. I'm weird. Just venting...
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, have you tried tying her up and throwing her in the trunk of your car to take her to a romantic date?
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, show her your dîck
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, try something easy and simple like "hey wanna grab a coffee" or "hey wanna grab lunch at the cafe"
@Ginger Incorporated, I would recommend against this course of action
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, not to diss anybody but it sounds like you have a simple lack of confidence, and that's not a bad thing. Very few people can pull off the "HhheeEEEYyyy, we should go on a date!" Thing. For what it's worth the way I've gotten all of my serious relationships is through text. If you can get a healthy back and forth texting someone then that simply means they enjoy your conversation. If they are a person of the opposite sex then that usually means they're interested in you. But above all just be yourself and follow your instincts. Because when you get that irrational fear or feeling that going to get in the way of you being yourself.
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, i have a similar situation, but my fear is that im scared to ask this person out as they are in college with me and i dont wanna make it awkward if she says no. Plus i have never asked anyone out before so it wouldnt end well probably
@TheRealDrummerBoyASD, jerk off right before you speak to her. You’ll be relaxed af but that’s obviously different from jerking off right in front of her. Hey try both, you never know
@gettinitfosho, LIFE LESSON ONE: GIRLS WANT TO BE ASKED OUT, GO ON DATES AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES. IT’S MORE RETARDED IF YOU DON’T TRY TO ASK THEM OUT. JUST DON’T DRESS LIKE A GOTH OR SMELL LIKE A TRUCKER OR TALK LIKE A MORON. Caps lock over...
Have you ever smoked a cigarette in your car and tried to throw it out the window and a minute later you smell something and turn around to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat?
@anzubar, still better than find the backseat on fire
Started off strong and ended positive, I like it
Wanna know what my grandpa said before he died?
Watch me die.
Every conversation with my friends