Parenting tip: tell your kid they can pick the biggest and most green Christmas tree and then make them chop it down and take it to the car, or truck in my case. If the tree is too heavy for them to carry, they can't celebrate Christmas.
@City87, I like the last bit..
@Blackfrost273, I want problem solvers, not problem contributors.
Heres a fun little story from my childhood that this reminded me of. When I was around 3 or 4, I was scared shïtless of monsters and all that jazz. It got to the point where I bugged my mom every night about it, until one night she couldnt take it anymore. She looked me in the eye, and, I shït you not, she said to me "Chris, monsters are stupid. Do you know why? Because monsters are fake fears that are used to distract us from the real horrors of the world. Like after WWI, there were soldiers who came home, and they had no faces. Their faces were blown off. THOSE are the real monsters." So I looked at her, and said "They had no faces?" Before I began to sob. I didnt sleep in my bed for months after, my mom really dug her own grave with that one
Umm... It'll take me longer than 8 minutes to make the paper plane!!
@MissKissy, and even longer to install the ceiling fan.
@notMrWonka, and at least the same amount of time to have the second kid.
Parenting Tip: Buy a burner phone and tell your kid that's the number for CPS. When they call, pick up and tell them you're on your way to take mommy and daddy away forever. It's up to you whether or not you pay a friend to come and "take you away" or not.
No dickbutt. Wow.
@StephenSkinnerY, hell ya.