My son's only 2, and I still make sure I fully explain everything I make him do. If he doesn't know why he's doing something, he's not going to do it when I'm not there to tell him to, and that's not the goal. They're not kids, they're people in training.
@KushAndAnarchy, same. I have found that if you speak as you would to your parents, they learn words better. I actually hate the way kids learn how to pronounce words these days. When I took medical terminology, they didn't teach us the phonetics of the words, but break down the sounds of the words so we could learn them better. My daughter's reading skills actually diminished after starting school. They teach our kids to be average. I hate it.
@KushAndAnarchy, what if you explain it and he still doesn't want to do it?
@KushAndAnarchy, I've even tried explaining this to my mom, because if I understand why I'm always more than happy to do it. But then she tells me to stop challenging her autority
@Autismo, then he gets beat. Lol no, if he's being stubborn I usually threaten to give him a time out, then he's real quick about doing it.
@KushAndAnarchy, Just wait until you start putting in all that time and energy to explain it, and he goes “what did you say?” every single time. That’s about when I stopped. I still explain some things, but you can only tell your kid so many times in a row that milk will go bad, taste yucky, and make them sick if they don’t put it back in the fridge before you absolutely lose your mind.
@KushAndAnarchy, I work with kids and there are times when I will explain the same thing to them 5 or 6 times in great detail with emphasis on choice and consequences and they will continue to ask repeatedly until I say “because I said so”. It frustrates me more than them because I prefer them to connect with the reasons behind the rules and expectations but often they just want to know the boundary/rule is set in stone and explaining the why makes them search for loopholes. (Which can be fine but not in situations that are dangerous or illegal.)
@KushAndAnarchy, wait until they’re 9 and use the question as a delay tactic in order to avoid doing what they’re told.
@KushAndAnarchy, when I have kids, I'm going to try never lying to them (within reason, deep dark personal shït and kinky sex stuff stays inside). It's going to be interesting...
How to be a bad parent 101
@Horse Lime, do you have kids?
@clintfromhere, I don’t have a pilot’s license but I can tell when a pilot is doing a really sh**ty job flying
@Horus, that doesn’t have any premise with the comment. If you want to converse please try to stay on point with the topic. We can talk pilots if you want but that changes the subject. How do you spot a bad pilot, if I may ask?
@clintfromhere, the metaphor is that it is absolutely not necessary for someone to have kids to call a bad parent, a bad parent
@Horus, but can you really tell bad parenting vs discipline and teaching if you don’t have children? Every parent on here knows exactly what this picture means. It’s that time at the end of a day or week and you’re cleaning the house, doing laundry, shopping or any other maintenance task and you ask them to help by cleaning their room or picking their toys up or putting their clothes away and you ask them several times but they don’t listen or they start and trail off to do something entirely different. Or it’s been 2 years into trying to teach them them when it’s inappropriate to interrupt a conversation but they still do it. That’s the just of what this meme refers to and that’s just how kids are, they take time to grow up and learn and we have to make sure they become good people when they reach adulthood. It’s tiring but worth every minute.
@clintfromhere, to answer your question, yes you absolutely can. That’s like asking “can you really tell a gas from a solid if you’re not a chemist?”
90% of the time you tell you’re kids exactly what’s up and why they need to do something. Then there is that 10% of the time where they have been questioning your authority all day and simply ask “why?” Just to delay having to do it. That’s when most parents snap and give this response.
@ios11, What just ends up happening is they start questioning your reason. Then eventually they just find your reason stupid and don’t do it.
To be fair, unless you have crappy parents, they take care of and want the best for you. Unless they are asking for something unreasonable they shouldn’t have to explain every little detail of why they are asking you to do something. Like if they say walk the dog or cut the lawn, because I told you to is a very reasonable response if you ask why
@George Feeny, yeah I mean for normal stuff it’s fine. I don’t get why it would be an issue. They are the parents. Respect the orders.
Now if they said “go dig a hole in the backyard and start filling it with marbles while I grab the pool noodles and peanut butter,” then you might have grounds to ask what’s going on
@George Feeny, surprised there was so much disagreement with this post. At least 3 of Y’all must be some right bastards to your parents.
I'm so glad my parents never did this to me and I have yet to do it to my own son. It doesn't take any more time to give them the explanation they deserve. "Because I said so" is just lazy to me.
Never say "Because I said so." Instead say, "Because if you don't do what I say you're going back to the orphanage."
Actually, I feel like that’s the exact problem with society. Kids expect a explanation and a reason... Well, you don’t always get a explanation and a reason. Life really isn’t fair. It’s unlucky, it’s difficult, and it doesn’t give you the answer to everything.
When an authority like your parents or your boss tells you to do something... well, you do it. Life isn’t going to cater to you. Maybe after it’s done and you did what your told you can ask why.
What happens is a kid will then start to question your reasons... and what do you do then?