Let’s here some brown note stories ! I’ll start, back in college I worked at a bbq dive bar. We were closing it was just me and the cashier, she does the front of the house I cleaned the kitchen. I felt a little stomach ache from some old thai food I had lying around, so I go to take a dump. But she comes out of the John with gloves and a scrubber, I didn’t want to make her clean it again so I’ll just hold it I thought. BIG MISTAKE ! I thought she had maybe 5 mins of work left, no this Btch takes 45 minutes closing the register. Keep in mind by this point that stomach ache turned into a demon demanding to be released from the intestinal prison I was trapping it in. Finally she finishes up, I clock out. And it’s 3am nothing is open nowhere to go. So I floor it home. Normally it takes 15 mins I made it in 5, it was not enough. Cause as i began driving, I could no longer focus solely on closing my sphincter. About halfway home the turtle head was out and the mudslide soon after.
@generic zombie, I once got out of a ticket by yelling "I'm about to shjt myself!" Out the window as the cop was walking up. He told me to go like a commander telling his troops to storm Normandy. I'd didn't really have to go but I pulled into the first gas station and went to the bathroom Incase he followed me.
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, and he didn't care that you didn't have pants
@generic zombie, it was my final year at a church camp. From my church, it was me, one of my best friends and a really pretty girl as the only seniors. We had a thing in the cafeteria. That morning I ate a bean burrito, lunch time was Asian food. They did not agree with me. I'm sitting there holding as tight as I can, don't need an embarrassing situation in front of the pretty girl. The thing ended so we all got to go back to the rooms. On my way back, a fart slipped out, but it wasn't alone. I hobbled as quick as I could to the bathroom to clean up. Terrible. Nobody said anything.
@generic zombie, little league baseball. Was in the middle of a game. In the outfield. I couldn’t just stop playing but the inning went on FOREVER! And it was the last. My mom called me a dedicated, but laughed the whole way home!
@generic zombie, here’s another that happened recently! My wife and I went somewhere to eat and later on we both had upset stomachs. I was already pooping and let my wife go when she had to go badly. Except I wasn’t as done as I thought! I frantically paced trying to hold it, but was failing. So I calmly asked my wife: “hey, where do we keep the older diapers that don’t fit? And where are the wipes? Cool, thanks.” I went to the only room with no carpet: the kitchen.
I then proceed to take large dumps in my sons old diapers! It sure was liberating! She was laughing for the rest of the night. She had no idea that’s why I was asking about those items!
@Empshok, he literally never made it to the window, I yelled it as he walked up. He stopped, looked stunned and/or disgusted and said "GO GO GO, DONT SPEED". I laughed the whole way to the gas station.
@Child Slapper, props for willingly (sort of) shjtting on your own kitchen floor
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, actually, I got it all in the diapers!!!
@Child Slapper, is it possible to learn this power?
@Drunk Pantless Uncle, not from a family with multiple bathrooms.
I read this while pooping
The true duality is. When there’s soft in the crunchy vs. When there’s crunchy in the soft