So I have these shjtty neighbors that literally called the cops just now for me walking a sobered up friend down my driveway because we were talking to each other while walking at 1230 on a Saturday. After dealing with cops for the second time, the first being during my birthday party on a previous Saturday, especially this one piece of shjt who basically told me I couldn't have my 6 friends at my house at a table with no music unless we wanted a fine I am seeking discrete ways to ruin their life. I have some plans but could use some outside input.
@Runnin with scissors, order pizza to their house
@dat butt hair doe, that's one of the plans I have including parking this huge piece of shjt in front of their property almost blocking their driveway. Also gonna throw rubber snakes into their yard.
@Runnin with scissors, kill them wait what
@Runnin with scissors, When your neighbors aren't there, put sugar on their porch and anywhere else near their home! Bees and ants will be attracted to it and boom, now they got a insect problem! Hope you get those neighbors of yours well mate!
@Runnin with scissors, If they're gonna be asses than be and ass right back. Soon as they have a little get together complain to the police about the noise. Kind of a passive aggresive "You know why this is happening" If not break into the house and sodomize them.
@Runnin with scissors, go on amazon and buy something called liquid ass. At night, literally coat their door and car with it (bonus points if the window is down)
@Runnin with scissors, you can also draw a penis in their lawn with bleach. When the grass dies, boom. Dead grass artwork of your choosing.
@Runnin with scissors, open a condom, fill it with mayo, and lay it on the hood of their car/their porch...
I used to have douchebag neighbors too.
@Runnin with scissors, where do you live that it was 1230 an hour ago? The middle of the Pacific? It's almost 6 in central time now
@Runnin with scissors, not trying to be a dick, I'm legit asking
@Runnin with scissors, Obtain seeds for various weeds. Scatter them in their garden.
(ofc the weeds could spread to your garden too but I think it'd be worth it)
@Runnin with scissors, Find videos online of cats fighting & blast em. Cats fight all the time but it's still annoying as hell.
@Runnin with scissors, I did this to one of my old bosses. I put a tarp in the back of my truck, drove around all day and night looking for road kill, once I had enough skunks, opossums, foxes etc... I simply pulled the tarp full of dead animals out of my truck and scattered them on his lawn. I even shoved the skunks under his porch and on his roof. Do this in the dark. Lol
@Runnin with scissors, get skunk musk or raccoon urine from your local sporting goods store and put it in their car especially in the intake for the ac. Orrrrrrrr alternatively uoi could put sugar in their gas tank
@Runnin with scissors, Neighbors 3
@Runnin with scissors, we could break into their house, mess everything up by rearranging everything. The thought that something is missing but they don't know what is can really drive a person mad
@Runnin with scissors, poopsenders.com your choice of cow elephant or gorilla poop delivered right to their door has a card that tells them they can find out who sent by digging for another card however card said card adds to their rage by failing to reveal the name
@Runnin with scissors, flaming crossbow
@Runnin with scissors, Cyanide in their water supply.
@Runnin with scissors, bait them into assaulting you.
@Runnin with scissors, so fun fact on adam and eve you can have them send you adds and free gifts by telling them your adress. Also almost any store websight will send you junk mail by puting your adress in. Flood them with junk mail.
@Runnin with scissors, Discretely grow pot somewhere on their property and then call the police once it grows.
@Not him again, I posted after it happened
@Runnin with scissors, Everyday when they are not home turn their hose on and turn it back off before they get home. By the end of the month their water bill will be insane and the residual will kill their grass. If you need any other help making people's life Hell just message me
@Runnin with scissors, slash 3 tires so insurance wont cover it
@Runnin with scissors, Listen man whatever you do make sure it's not obvious that it's you doing it. Some of these are pretty good, like the thing about the sugar or the liquid ass. But blatantly doing stuff that's obviously a teenage prank? They're immediately going to know who it was, and probably throw a big enough fit with the police that you get into some trouble and get a record. They'll only be miserable if they can't prove that someone's messing with them.
@Runnin with scissors, if they have a dog get a dog whistle. Blow it past 1 in the morning and let the dog do the dirty work for u
@Runnin with scissors, is also check if they have a camera on their property before you do any of the above lol.
@Runnin with scissors, honestly why not go talk to them? Sure theyre being rude but there's a chance if you talk to them they'll stop. And if they don't then get a super soaker and spray sugar water on their house and toss cat food in their back yard. Bugs, raccoons and random animals will start messing with them. Invest in a leafblower too and run that bad boy all the time just blowing at bushes or something. Most cities let you run them whenever, just look like you're using it.
@Runnin with scissors, With winter rolling around you can get a flu or cold, may I suggest blowing your nose and/or coughing into tissues and rubbing it on their door handles late at night. Maybe a good handful of gravel sprinkled on their lawn. Perhaps a bucket of water poured on their sidewalk on what should be a cold night. Maybe a laxative treat for their pets too.
@UncommonSense, the uncommon sense side of me would be to let the petty shït go, but where's the fun in that
@Runnin with scissors, get the cops to charge them for calling them over stupid crap. Seriously, it can be a crime to waste the police's time like this
@Runnin with scissors, you can literally order truck load of fertilizer and have it dumped in the driveway
@Runnin with scissors, if they have a porch you could put meat under it so it festers and stinks their house up
@Runnin with scissors, if you slash 3 tires insurance won't cover it
@Runnin with scissors, I have and had some really awful neighbors. The key is making it seem like a natural problem and not one that could be linked to a specific vengeful person.
Weed killer on their lawn maybe? Oh, maybe find a way to lure sketchy people into knocking on their door.
Give away their contact information to every travel agency, religious group, and volunteer club you can. Then those organizations will pass on that information and their lives will be spammed horribly.
Or you could apologize and say you have PTSD because your father/relative they will never meet was killed gruesomely in front of your eyes as a child. Or you were abused and sometimes can't handle your volume. They will feel awful if you start getting emotional. It will also help f you scream at yourself sometimes with the window open.
Good luck. I wanted to give you some different options to work with if you don't want to be held liable for anything.
But give 'em hell.
@Runnin with scissors, whatever you do, promise to give updates
@Runnin with scissors, tell your local post office you used to live at their house (say you were the sole occupant) and tell them you recently moved to a different place and have all their mail transferred so they don't receive important things in the mail (bills/letters/etc). They wont know it is you and will be really annoyed when they no longer receive important documents.
@Runnin with scissors, wait until the coldest day of the year. Must be below zero (Celsius), preferably -10 at least. Get some friends, have them wear face covering gear, which should be less suspicious considering the low temperature. Split them into two teams. The first team is to egg their house, being very cautious to not hit any windows. Ideally this should be done at around 2-4 AM. While the first team is throwing the eggs, the second team should take water balloons that they have previously filled with their own urine (or with milk if they are unwilling to pee into a balloon) and douse the person's car. If going with milk they can just pour the milk onto the car. Be careful to get a good amount on all the door handles.
To reduce their chances of being caught, they should take no more than two minutes from first egg throw to them leaving. Have a getaway car parked out of sight of the targets house.
As tempting as it is to go yourself, do it only through proxies.
Risk: misdemeanour charge leading to either community service or hefty fine if caught.
Reward: the bricks of their house will be permanently stained, and their house and car will stink for months.
Ideally you should set this up so you have an ironclad alibi.
@TheyCallMeTaterSalad, ah some comments just get better and better
@Runnin with scissors, don't order pizza to their house cause it only ends up hurting the pizza place by wasting their time and money
@Runnin with scissors, as other people have said, you don't want them to be able to trace anything back to you, but you really don't even want them to consider it a possibility. Which means most of the more fun pranks are sadly off the table.
As a pest control guy however, I have some ideas for insect warfare, muahaha...
To attract beetles, take a mix of water, brown sugar, and yeast and spray/splash around their lawn.
Hornets and wasps have changing tastes depending on the season, but assuming you live in the northern hemisphere, we are about to start autumn. In autumn hornets love sweets, and I find that sprite soda is a favorite of theirs. Spray this under the eaves of their house and near doorframes. As a bonus, this can also attract ants.
If rodents are to your liking, take tootsie rolls and cut them up thin. Then spread on the lawn and in cracks/crevices or hard to reach areas.
Give 'em hell.
@Runnin with scissors, hey, and if all else fails, you can burn their house down.
With the lemons.
@Runnin with scissors, old fish, hot A.C. unit
Or under the hood of their car
@Runnin with scissors, this is the most evil thread I have seen... but it is a nice evil
@Runnin with scissors, try planting some poison ivy all around there house. No animals will eat them since poison ivy seeds are poisonous. So if they get big enough, mowing over them makes aerosolized itches
@Runnin with scissors, not even sure if this will be see at this point but every morning go to the window that faces them butt ass naked and just stand there. By law, they can do nothing. You are naked in your own home. So just do that every time they're outside, looking out they're windows, taking out the trash, whatever. Don't be afraid to give them some windmill action
@Runnin with scissors, wait till someone they want to impress or respect is coming over to their house then act extremely arseholish and friendly at the same time marking it seem like your friends but really your just embarrassing them.
@Runnin with scissors, please update us with your future adventures. Better yet, record it all into a text post and put it on funny pics
@Runnin with scissors, buy a bunch of cockroaches (I'm pretty sure you can get them at pet stores) and put them around doors. Soon the will get in, and won't get out
Don't worry, I'm still interested in breasts.
@A Math Dealer, ah, a man of culture I see.
Who isn't into breasts?
I don't think eating ass has become popular. Sounds gross as hell
@Oujosh29, i too find it repulsive, but there's no getting past how popular it is
I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with you, there.