I like this version better
I mean. If God did start off and create two people, then they probably wouldn’t have been like regular people. Maybe they were some mythic creatures that became what we see today from all the inbreeding that would have had to happen, the same way that when people today inbreed it causes all kinds of problems. Maybe we’re all just the retarded inbred babies of Adam and Eve. Probably not.
Eve can eat my ass that sinning bjtch. It’s about as ripe as that apple I think she’d like it.
Not even as ridiculous as the actual bible
This must be from the Message translation of the Bible
Damn I want to know what the prizes were for first second and third place
And Adam said "Could you please tidy up after yourself?!"
And Lillith shriekethed, " Bring out your manager, pig!"
And thus God intervened.
Then John said: "WTF am I suposed to do with a toaster if electricity hasn't even been invented?"