To be babied
Well does the wife work? Because im totally behind the idea of a woman bringing home the money in the family, but then the guy should clean and take of the kids. It’s not sexist if you won’t get a job, you have to contribute something to the relationship or your not the “strong independent woman who won’t clean for some sexist man” you’re just leeching of a dude. And the same goes for a man who won’t work and the woman brings home all the money. Marriages and relationships require effort from both parties.
@TennesseeCousinLover, I recently inherited enough money and a business to where I can retire at 30 and my wife works (I offered her to retire too but she wants to contribute) anyways since I'm home all day I cook, clean, and basically everything around the house inside and out. Our team work is perfect like this
@Chimon, I'm jealous
@TennesseeCousinLover, I would love to be a trophy husband
@Chimon, adopt me please
@Chimon, adopt me too please
@Chimon, wow it's like you're me but respectable
@TennesseeCousinLover, I definitely agree, it’s not fair to ask either partner to contribute more than their fair share of either workload in a relationship. Personally, though, in my experience, most men who think the woman should be doing all the housework, they have women who have their own jobs and other responsibilities outside the house. There’s a lot of men out there who don’t care about a woman’s job or other contributions. They still expect them to be housewives on top of it all. With my wife and I, we both work, and we both clean. There’s some chores that she does more of, and some that I do more of. However, there’s a lot that falls behind, because we’re both tired as fvck, and we have alternating schedules, which means we rarely have direct support from one another. Add two kids on top of that, and expecting anything from either of us is asking quite a lot.
@TennesseeCousinLover, Honestly, she can do whatever the hell she wants as long as I get a home cooked meal majority of the time. I hate cooking and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm trying to be financially responsible I would be eating out every night. I already keep my house nice and tidy so cleaning isn't an issue for me.
@Berntley, on the topic of chore sharing. Can you give me a any advice on how to deal with a partner who procrastinates? My husband has a full time job and I’m active duty, so we both try to pull our weight when it comes to house work. I noticed though that he always puts things off or half asses it when he does do the chores, which just makes me turn around and do it. I always get the advice to just stop doing the chores, but living in a dirty house is something I just can’t stomach.
@GingerGold, Best I can offer is to make expectations clear, and explain yourself and why you’d like it to be done a certain way. I’m a procrastinator myself, so it’s real hard for me to get around to a sink full of dishes that I don’t need right now, but at the same time, I know that my wife appreciates when dishes are done, so I make the effort. Ultimately, you can’t change a person’s desire to do chores, but if you can frame the objective to be your appreciation, rather than the completion of a task, which any respectful spouse should strive for, then it can change the game.
@Berntley, I’ll work on being more vocal in that direction. I’ve kinda always preached the sense of achievement from getting things done, but maybe that wasn’t the right way. Thanks for the advice.
@GingerGold, Sure thing. I know it’s a bit cliche, but communication really is the cornerstone of a working relationship. Talk about needs, expectations, but also make time to talk about stupid shît that doesn’t matter. Tell each other jokes or send funny little texts or even memes when you’re apart. Ask questions and learn things you never knew. Never take what you know about each other for granted. There’s always something more. Best of luck. Active duty can put a lot of strain on yourself AND a relationship for a lot of reasons, and it takes a lot more effort to really put each other first sometimes.
@Berntley, that’s very true. I have issues just stopping and relaxing with him. I’m not used to just sitting still. It’s not fair to him that I can’t even sit through a tv show because I just have to move and do something. Meeting in the middle is what we’ll need to talk about. Give and take.
@TennesseeCousinLover, I have to disagree. If you make the mess you should clean it up, whether you have a job or not.
@TennesseeCousinLover, it’s not sexist, a lot of women just don’t want to work and are spoiled and greedy. But stupid feminism have ruined women now. Becoming very entitled.
@TennesseeCousinLover, Also keep in mind that doing outside choirs such as mowing the grass, changing oil, and fixing the cars. Counts as contributing.
@Chimon, I recently had sex with an older women because I make bad life choices and that's how I make my money at 30. Two peas in a pod, huh?
I actually think guys want some stay at home wife type. From my experience they hate it when a woman is too independent and clearly doesn't need them. I think men like to feel needed. Not wanted but needed
@Kayda, why not both?
@phalcon , I think you can want someone in your life but you either need them or don't. I always try to show a partner that they are wanted but I struggle to someone they're needed, because they just aren't.
@Kayda, everyone wants to feel needed in one way or another. It’s a natural urge to want to feel useful and important to people you care about
@Kayda, Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather feel wanted. But yeah, there are some men who prefer a stay at home, domestic type woman. I had a friend for a long time who wanted a woman who would do all the cooking and cleaning, and pop out seven or eight children for him in the process. Regardless of what else she had going on, he expects that the household would always come first.
@Kayda, I do like to feel needed, but I also like that we can split the bills if she's planning on moving in.
@Kayda, that is honestly why my boyfriend and I broke up. He was fine with me working, until we got married. Then he wanted me to quit, have kids and stay home to homeschool them. I love working, and am very proud to be an engineer. I am not a good teacher, and believe public school can be great. He couldn't handle the idea of not getting his way, and broke up with me
@Kayda, it’s nice to hear someone else say this. I feel like no partner should be “needed”. When my husband tells me he needs me or that I’m his world it makes me uncomfortable and apprehensive. When you’re wanted you feel like they’re choosing you, but if you’re needed I feel like I’m only here out of necessity.
@GingerGold, that's exactly my point! But why do men want to feel needed instead of wanted? Is it some white knight thing?
@Salem, omg I'm so sorry. He didn't deserve you if that's the case!
@Kayda, I honestly have no clue. I’ve tried talking about it, but all he says is that he’s just trying to convey how much I mean to him. Maybe it’s just how some people are wired.
@GingerGold, must be! I know I'm not wired that way. I can take care of myself perfectly well, if I have someone in my life it's because I WANT them, not that I need them or don't have options lol
@GingerGold, @Kayda, I think generally, men are hard wired to think they must be the main provider of the house. So their services are needed. If their partner doesn't "need" them, then they clearly are doing something wrong and need to fix that. Women, generally, want to be chosen, to feel that out of everything and everyone else, you are the one I want. So feeling needed instead of wanted is unsettling because you're here because you have to be, not because you want to be.
Really a mindset change needs to go on. It irks me to no end all of these expectations and demands that men put on their wives and themselves
@Salem, what about the expectations put on men too? Who are probably working long hours in jobs that make them miserable because they feel they have to provide for 2+ people lol.
The world does need a readjustment. I don't know why we separate the genders as much as we do, it baffles me.
I'll just say that, as a man who works his ass off and has an awesome stay-at-home wife, it's really great when you both understand that you each have a hard job and you have to share responsibilities when you're both at home, but it's necessary to split them when one has to provide for bacon. That's what we work for right? Bacon? I can't think of anything else.
@smittyspitoon, more bacon?
@Hot Coffee, gimmedat
It's the same with women claiming their guy should be tall, rich and driving some special car/ owning a house, etc.
This is my fetish
They don’t mention she also doesn’t go to work and raises the kids
*angry comment about why whamen need a man*
Source: I have a big(smol) djck
Oh no, this’ll set off the hyper-masculines
I have never known any guy ever who has said those words.