Shameless /r/fellowkids promotion.
So, I have a German girlfriend, she likes to rate my performance in bed on a scale from 1-10. Last night, I decided to surprise her with anal and she kept screaming 9. She must have really liked it, I've never done so well.
@ archiethesailor, Did it hurt when she put it in?
@ archiethesailor, subtle, almost missed the joke, love it, here's an upvote
@JAMA, probably Jewst a little bit.
@ archiethesailor, sounds like you have a weird porn stash
everybody who has a small penis, downvote my comment
@Archduke of pies, Was it? I hadn't known that. Looks like most people think it's funny though
@ archiethesailor, are you coming up with these yourself or getting them from somewhere?
@I Are Lebo, I've made one or two myself, but most I'll openly admit that I got from other places. I just share them because I think the jokes are worth spreading and the upload process on this app isn't always reliable for getting them out because of the rejection rate.
@I Are Lebo, I really hope that knowing that doesn't ruin your enjoyment of the jokes.
@ archiethesailor, not at all. Very few of my non context sensitive jokes were written by me. Especially when told verbally, telling a joke does't necessitate writing it.
Half of the fun of a joke is sharing it.
@I Are Lebo, I'm glad you agree.
@ archiethesailor, I'm more glad that we're getting along. It's much preferable to me than arguing.
@I Are Lebo, Definitely preferable. Believe it or not, I actually don't like arguing, I just have no self control. You seem like a nice enough guy(?), it was always a shame that we never had good conversations.
@ archiethesailor, it's probably best if we continue our until now unwritten rule and avoid conversing about religion. It seems to be a hot button for us both, and it also seems that we agree on most other topics.
And yes, I'm male. I was pretending otherwise as part of a personal experiment, but the results were useless so I stopped doing it. Also, I plan on using the name Lebo for my professional life, and it'd be nice to have some small personal connection on here. I do the same for my Xbox Live profile.
@I Are Lebo, as a side note, my Xbox Live profile is the same as my username, and my gravatar is a photo of me with a black and white filter added.
@I Are Lebo, You have Xbox too? That's cool. I've been playing Ark on it a lot recently. Lots of fun, they still seem to be updating it. Building houses and punching dinosaurs, what could be better?
@ archiethesailor, I haven't got that one. I've mostly been playing Minecraft lately. I'm an on again off again Minecraft player since beta. I find after I spend a few months playing I need to leave it alone for a few months. Especially with how slowly the console version updates.
I mostly play single player stuff, but every now and then I go multi. I got bored of Overwatch a few months ago. It's been a slow year for gaming.
@I Are Lebo, I responded below. Bit of a long comment
@ archiethesailor, that is so old joke
@ archiethesailor, #bestcomments
Sweet! Speeds 50mph over the speed limit
@KiritoSAOHero, i dont think they thought that one through.
Cool guy cops
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
@LawyeredApe, sorry, first thing that popped into my head when I read this
Never once paid an automated ticket. they can't prosecute you which is why they don't give a point value or report to insurance. That's why California has 96 million in unpaid tickets from red-light and speed cameras.
I have minecraft for the 360,haven't touched it in a while. Funny story, Hitler wrote a second book about his love of knitting, it was also called minecraft
@ archiethesailor, lol nice.
You what Hitler and Terry Fox have in common?
Neither of them could finish a race.
@I Are Lebo, You know there's a Berlin marathon? Kind of weird considering the Germans have a history of not being able to finish a race.
@I Are Lebo, Anyways, if you're ever interested in playing a game together, my gamer tag is Evanph.
@ archiethesailor, cool. I'll add you.
@I Are Lebo, I've added you too
@ archiethesailor, how did you like Dead Rising 4? I haven't gotten it yet and I've heard some disturbing things about its quality.
I absolutely loved the first one, but they've been kind of going downhill since then. I've played every game but 4.
@I Are Lebo, I liked it, but not nearly as much as the third. I never liked the time limit thing that made the first two so stressful. Definitely a drop in quality from the third though and, if you preferred the first over the others, I can't really imagine you enjoying very much.
@ archiethesailor, really what I enjoyed the most about the first was that it more or less took itself seriously. Each one has been getting goofier and I don't like that.
I think 2 was the worst one. The backstory of Chuck needing to do whatever he could to protect his daughter didn't fit with what you could do in the game. Frank was a self centered glory hog and Nick was a kid. Them risking their own lives made sense.
@ archiethesailor, and while some of the combo weapons are fun, they're very badly unbalanced. And often ridiculous.
@I Are Lebo, It's not nearly as ridiculous as 3, the combos aren't nearly as over powered or weird as they are either. No fire swinging scythe.
@ archiethesailor, cool. I heard that the true ending is locked behind dlc. Is that true?
@I Are Lebo, I hadn't heard that or played the DLC, so I wouldn't know. The main game ending, without getting into spoilers, is satisfying enough though, even though it's not my personal favorite. Definitely not the problem I had with the game. I would think that you could play it without the DLC and not lose anything in the experience.
@ archiethesailor, well that is a legitimate business practice. Locking main story content behind an additional paywall, especially when the game itself is $80 in the basic version, is a despicable and underhanded practice.
@I Are Lebo, It does sound bad, I'm always hearing people who are against DLC for that reason. I've either not played any games like that or I've never noticed.
Is this cringy or kind of funny? I can't tell.
@UmActually, well they did use it right, and someone did put a few minutes into making the graphic
I don't like traffic cameras, it's cheap and also scary to us anti big brother people!
Lol awesome. I love it when police use memes correctly