This story takes place when I was on my vacation in Thailand a few years ago. I've been meaning to tell it for a while now. I had heard of the infamous red light district in Bangkok and wanted to get a closer view of it for myself, at no point in time on my way to the red light district in Bangkok did I expect myself to pick up a prostitute, there was no way I would have wanted to and that just wasn't me, I had originally just planned just to look around and maybe go to a few shops there (just so I could brag to my friends that I had been to the infamous red light district of Bangkok) Anyways... when I was walking around I kept seeing numerous prostitutes and initially I thought to myself, "Damn, this is just weird..." but some of them were kind of pretty. Soon I started wanting to see what it was like to do a prostitute (I was young and dumb) ...
@Nipples, continue plz
... I flagged one of the more beautiful looking streetwalkers down and asked her how much she wanted to charge for sex, to my dismay, she did not speak any English so I went on my way (on the prowl) looking for another prostitute. A few minutes later I spotted another one and this one was the most gorgeous girls I had ever seen in Thailand so far, I'm guessing when people think about prostitutes in the red light district of Bangkok, THIS is who they think of. I flagged her down as well and I was very elated to find that she did speak English, very well in fact. I asked her how much it was for her "services" and she replied to me "I decide after the sex, but I promise it won't be more than 500 dollars" I almost reconsidered because 500 dollars was a lot of money for me at the time, but I ended up taking the deal...
... Apparently she was pretty high end for a streetwalker and we ended up going to my hotel in a completely different area of Bangkok. So, we go up to my hotel room and have the best sex I have ever had in my life, it was absolutely phenomenal. (PhenomAnal) After the amazing sex we laid in my bed together and did something I thought prostitutes don't normally do, we cuddled, hugged, and kissed, I finally got around to asking her what the bill was and she said it was free.
"Free? Was I really that good?" I asked her and she laughed, she said yes, I was the best client she'd ever had...
... She looked me in the eye and said "But I need one little thing..." and I honestly thought she wanted another round of sex, so I eagerly replied "What do you need?" She replied "I need about tree fiddy" Now it was around this time that I realized this prostitute was actually 7 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. Goddamnit! That Loch Ness monster had tricked me again! I yelled at her as she swam away, never to be seen again.
@Nipples, tldr version, doesn't matter, had sex
@DarthPanserbjorn, tl;dr: Haha.. Bangkok.. what a funny name.
@Nipples, God dammit sea monsters love your dick
@Nipples, this again? Personally I think these would be funny if you could read back through them and pick up hints about the "plot twist"
@Nipples, I dont get it
@classical nerd, Google "tree fiddy" and click on the knowyourmeme link
@Aperture Employee, also @350 is one of my accounts, just to clarify.
@Nipples, i love these. Keep it comin 350 Latvian Nipples.... or whoever you truly are.
@Nipples, FRICKFRACKPADDYWHACKGIVEADOGABONEDAMMIT!! GOT ME AGAIN!
@Nipples, I had a feel. Also these are getting old.
@CaptainSwordsman, this is really technically only the second one I've posted but I'll do them a lot less often then I guess
@Nipples, gat dang loch ness monster! Always after that tree fiddy!
@Nipples, there was also 350's
@CaptainSwordsman, exactly, I posted that one and this one. And one other short one that only got like 9 upvotes under my 350 account.
@Geek Squad Agent, I like that. "350LatvianNipples" it has a nice ring to it
@Nipples, god damnit
@Nipples, im glad you think so as well. Now im terrified as to how much you like it.
@Geek Squad Agent, I like it as much as Latvians like potatoes. Okay, I don't know if that's actually possible.
@Nipples, is that because thats all they have ever eaten or that they never got to because of the malnourish?
@Nipples, I wasn't aware you were 350
@CaptainSwordsman, 350LatvianNipples ;)
@Nipples, yo- you're Latvian comedian? LIFE OVE- oh wait I found that out a while ago.
@CaptainSwordsman, haha you'd be surprised at the amount of people who still don't know
@Nipples, Damn you and your sex!
@Aperture Employee, (btw if you're "aperture scientists" in the fantasy football league I thought I'd let you know that Wes Welker got suspended so you shouldn't be starting him)
@Latvian Comedian, (yeah just checked and saw that, thanks!)
@Aperture Employee, (no problem, just trying to help!)
@Srircha , I love that exclamation
@Nipples, tell this from Latvian comedian perspective.
@I like Ike, It'd take me a while to type that out and make sure it's good. Give me a week or so
@I like Ike, to write a completely different story I mean
My history teacher said batman movies were stupid today. I'm doubting everything he says now
@Ajax the Adequate , I used to think that... Then I put Dark Knight in my DVD player... Now I'm obsessed with Batman still.
@Tyler643, Ledger did a REALLY good job with his role, I honestly believed he was a psychopath while watching
The L in tumblr is actually a one. Amyone else notice that?
@Aperture Employee, go look at the website's L it looks like a 1. Idk maybe its just me
@RuizTheChamp, oh, like on the actual website, not this picture. That's where people's confusion was.
@Aperture Employee, oh okay yeah i was thinking "maybe it's not a one..." but I wasn't being specific sorry.
4 September 2014 #4September2014
#nipples #story #350
I think of a bald, white kid tumbling down a hill..
@Raditz, with a blue shirt