GET! BACK! DOWN! THERE! YOU- AH FVCK
This is how you do CPR right?!
@RiseoftheWitnesses, This is the basic maneuver. Pro tip: Hold one fist in the air and shout "Why God!?" between compressions.
@lockke, Meh, seems like a lot of work doesn't it?
@RiseoftheWitnesses, For lay people, if the Fist-God maneuver is too much, you can abstain from raising your fist and just look at the sky yelling Whyyyyy!? This simple modification is still 70% as ridiculous.
@lockke, Fair enough. I'll choose looking at the sky, while yelling "Whyyyyy" and some profanities, since the AHA recommends 100-120 compressions a minute. I'm not fast enough to do that many compressions and raising my fist.
The #1 reason I can't masturbate anymore.... Except mine is a kitten, not a puppy.