A Flying Panda 18554 points

A Flying Panda

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-Deadly virus originates in Wuhan -Quarantine fails, spreads in China -China imposed full lockdown, fails -Countries pull out, economy tanks -Epidemic escalates to Pandemic -Global hysteria ensues, China quiet -Cases increase exponentially worldwide, China reports zero new cases of virus. China: It’s okay guys, you can invest in us again, it’s all under control here. *background gunshots* WHO: What do you mean? Did you find a cure?! How can you have zero cases of newly infected, that’s amazing!? China: *guttural screaming in distance* Yeah no, our lockdown succeeded. Just come back and invest in us and we’ll show you how we did it. WHO: Well gosh, good job! We are very impressed by your ability to handle the situation. China: Ah, well thank you, thank you. We try our best here. *glass breaks near mic* Oh ha ha. Don’t mind that, I just dropped my champagne glass from celebrating so much! on China (Upvotes: 58)
@TexTom69, This happened to one of my brother’s friends back in high school. Real kindhearted guy, just one of the nicest and relaxed dudes I knew. Hooked up with a school thot one night at a party (he was blitzed before she even arrived near the end), and she charged him with rape. Luckily, the judge wasn’t an idiot and after she switched up her story multiple times, the fact that she was on top, plus all the eyewitnesses coming forward and being like, Nah nah nah, she’s making shjt up, she came onto him, and their stories matching his, nothing came of it, but still sketches me out to this day. Like if people weren’t willing to put themselves on the line, or if she wasn’t an idiot and it was a different judge, idk, this guy could be in prison for some BS this crazy bjtch made up. on wha? (Upvotes: 57)
And now, a dance number for the nutcracker on The Nicholas Brothers (Upvotes: 56)
CHOO CHOO MUTHAFVCKERS on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 55)
“It’s an essential oil, he’s got everything he needs to be cured, I just don’t understand how he’s not getting better!” -You mean you don’t understand how rubbing the skin with concentrated plant matter, basically coating the outside of our epidermal layer with plant juice, on something whose main job it is to keep outside things from entering the body, isn’t actively dispersing throughout the entire body and pursuing/destroying every molecule unique to that of a specific RNA virus, something that which, has already duplicated and spread rapidly throughout the kid’s body to the point that visible symptoms are shown as a result of widespread cell death? Weird. Must be God’s will huh? on n/a (Upvotes: 53)

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