A Little Stitious 4159 points

A Little Stitious

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@msgt, So there's one time before prom, I wanted to get some flowers and rent a limo for my date. When I went to the florist, there was no line. When I went to rent a limo, there was no line. All was well, but when prom finally came, I was thirsty and wanted to drink so I went to get some punch. And sadly, there was one heck of a punch line. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 45)
The tie being out of the jacket bothers me on Mark 2016 (Upvotes: 37)
I think it defeats the purpose of a diaper.. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 35)
"We don't have Szechuan sauce anymore"? on My job aspirations are broken (Upvotes: 31)
@TheDoctorsTARDIS, What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier. on Funnyism (Upvotes: 28)

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