Amish Inventor 6630 points

Amish Inventor

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Here are some names that I would like to offer anyone who can't think of one, because I did...In my spare time... Aunt Samantha / Bucktoothed Buck / The Offended Toilet / a Light Switch Blade / Sexual Mime / Gay Starfish / Eco-Friendly Strobe Lighting / NY Times' Roman / a Hail Satan Mantis / Trunk Full of Junk / Mentally-Challenged Nerd / and Gentlemen / Jug Juggler / Extra-Ordinary Comment / (yellow text) Submarine / Butt-Stained Glass Panes / Amnesiatic Goldfish (my fave) on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 40)
@SimonPetrikov, Shop for clothes. Pick up hoes. Eat them out after eating Moe's, then give them wood I bought at Lowes. Bend your knees and curl your toes,I'll show you where my sausage goes. Hint: It's the fridge whose light never glows. My roommate broke it so now we're foes. Does this even make sense? No one knows. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 38)
Okay...*slowly removes shirt* Aren't you impressed? Why do you keep pointing at me? Are you pointing at the door now? IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M A FLAT CHESTED MAN! *runs outside weeping half-naked* on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 61)
I think if you are going to wear ripped jeans, you should come up with cool fake stories for each rip just so I'm not disappointed when I ask how they got that way. I don't want to hear "Uhhh, dude, I bought them this way...It's fashion!" I wanna hear like "So I got in this bar fight, but it was no ordinary on ya see. This real mean looking tattooed guy refused to pay for his drink right...So the bar tender walks into his storage room, starts humming and making weird noises. All of a sudden the noises stop. The tattooed guy decides to walk out, but then all of a sudden, the bar tender rips right out his anus so forcefully, that a shred of his underpants shot across the room, skimming my leg leaving this cut that oozed money of which the Bartender rightfully picked up and placed inside his cash register." Great story right? Now spread the word :D on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 35)

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