Apollo Gauntlet 29507 points

Apollo Gauntlet

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*Morgan Freeman voice* "All this time, everyone thought he simply loved cookies. But his love was more of an insidious addiction, one that he keeps coming back to just make life livable every day. When the world is too loud for him to bear, he drowns out the noise in the form of a delicious, decadent sweet treat that that tells him everything is okay in the world. For just a few minutes, he forgets about walking in on Oscar satisfying his wife in a way he never could. He forgets about losing his job as a teacher, having to give out back alley blowjobs to Ernie just to make ends meet. He nearly forgets the entire world, except for the laughter of his child, sweeter than any earthly pastry. (Perhaps that's why he took the job entertaining children on Sesame Street). But above all else, he never, ever, forgets the accident... He tries to pretend that he's okay, but anyone with eyes and a soul can see he's not well. He may eat the cookies, but it's the cookies that will soon consume him." on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 100)
Mountain climbing in Skyrim on Look ma! No hands! (Upvotes: 93)
I'm gonna fvck that sandwich on Two Kinds of Girls (Upvotes: 69)
She wasn't even in the right generation of game systems on Ps4 (Upvotes: 51)
I like how you can see the cat thinking about smacking the shjt out of him the second time. *Bird bites ear* "Motherf--- No, Clarence. Remember your Aikido training: all life is prec-- YOU LITTLE MOTHERFVCKER" *smack* on Smack (Upvotes: 49)

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