BecauseImObama 3098 points

BecauseImObama

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Ok totally random story but today in my health class we took a test and I finished it early. So I'm an ok artist and this asshole girl asked me to draw her a house. The reason I was being nice was so that she would vote for me on class elections( ironic right?) and so I was being nice. She said how bad it sucked, so I started to draw windows, but in the window frame I drew a very dark swastika. It bled through to the other side an that was the only side where it was viable. She showed her friends and said how goo it was and how SHE drew it. The teacher saw the swastikas and asked who drew the picture to the people around her. They pointed to her and now she is suspended. A VERY long story short, don't be an asshole or I will get you, and I will get you good. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 102)
Repost joke time! A man walks into a bar, he asks for two shots the bar tender says to him we have a deal going on right now. The man replys whats the deal man? the bar tender says to him if you can drink this half gallon of whiskey in five minutes and keep it down for another five minutes, then go out back and pull the angry alligators tooth out and then lastly up stairs is a woman who has never had an orgasim if you give her one and do the other two things in that order you can eat and drink here for free forever. The man said that sounds tough but I will try it any way so he chugs the whiskey drinks it in time and keep it down then goes out back about twenty minutes go by the people in the bar hear screaming and just pure pain the man walks back into the bar all tore up bleeding stumbling drunk and what not and looks over at the bar tender and says now where is that woman who needs her tooth pulled. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 83)
I used a Netflix free trial for a month. I spent that month away from all means of sunlight, surviving on only Nutella and Arizona tea. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 47)
That bed looks extremely comfortable... on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 28)
@Sexystorygirl, stop this it is not apron app! I come here for laughs, not to be "turned on", I have Michele for that, and your stories suck. Stop, you are embarrassing yourself and others. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 27)

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