Captain Cornleon 10355 points

Captain Cornleon

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The Girl Scouts came at us from all sides. We never saw it coming, cookies were flying all over the place. I looked over at rick he had a peanut butter chocolate lodged I his eye. I held him as he died from his peanut allergy. I still remember the screams, the girls all the while yelled FOR THE JAMBOREE. on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 145)
As long as the Afro is on her head. on Yes indeed (Upvotes: 74)
He literally got screwed over on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 55)
Let's be honest Carol, do you really think you can tolerate eating 2 ounce piece of chicken with five pieces of broccoli every Wednesday for the next eight months? Sure you may lose a few pounds but that jazzecising is only gonna take you so far. Even if you somehow are able to lose all that weight and get down to something that doesn't look like a prize winning squash at the county fair, do you really think Bill is gonna come back? Do you really think you're gonna out do some 20 year old who is now babysitting your kids on a full time schedule as their new stepmom? Yeah let's be real Carol, you need a break from your sh*tty life and these Caramel Delites have your name written all over them, just like that check you're about to's a pen on l9l (Upvotes: 53)
I can honestly say I do believe we've never had a champagne fail update. Well done Asian dude, way to think outside the takeout box on Splat (Upvotes: 49)

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