InebriatedTortoise 1015 points

InebriatedTortoise

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And sometimes it'd be a close friend or relative and they'd get p!ssed if you didn't recognize their voice and they wouldn't speak to you and you'd have to choose between apologizing or killing them for letting such a little thing come between what you thought was a valuable relationship and you'd inevitably choose the latter and end up burying the body in the empty lot down the street and then when they found it during construction you'd blame someone else and tamper with the evidence and they'd be executed and you'd have to live with the shame and devolve into alcoholism. Also, sometimes you'd have to turn a dial and if you messed up you'd have to completely restart the number, which could be mildly frustrating. on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 33)
Yeah, this is why Elagabalus died. Not because he prostituted himself in the imperial palace or worshipped a Persian deity. Definitely the fart noise thing. on The invention of the whoopie cushion (Upvotes: 41)
@Sexsnakes, pregnancy is really just the first stage of the STD known as "life" on safe sex (Upvotes: 19)
Bad Luck Britain on Gets beaten by everyone (Upvotes: 31)
Also, nice legs on cat dragged on leash (Upvotes: 24)

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