LuciferTheFabulous 6270 points


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@LuciferTheFabulous, We made eye contact and I went still. I waited for the sadistic bird to do something, anything. But only deafening, terrifying silence ensued. I was certain my death was impending, and slowly I was accepting this. At least I'd cleared my search history today and was wearing clean underwear. I closed my eyes and took a step forward. I felt at peace. Then the bird made a noise and I completely lost my shlt, screamed and leapt backwards. By doing so I was sent flailing down the stairs. I have a fvcking broken leg. And that evil, insidious, spawn of the lowest depths of hell is still in my house. Sorry for long post. (Not really) on Evolution of Hugh Jackman (Upvotes: 65)
This is irrelevant but I'm gonna share it anyway because I can. Yesterday I was sitting at home on the toilet when I heard a loud crashing noise coming from downstairs. I live alone, so I naturally I panicked. I got off the toilet, grabbed an umbrella from the closet (sadly that's like the most dangerous thing I have) and snuck down the stairs. I need to point out that I was freaking terrified by now, because there was still all this noise coming from my kitchen. I turned the corner and tried to stealthily see who was there.... It was my 80+ year old neighbor and her pet pig. She saw me with my umbrella and was like "I needed a casserole pan." She held up one of my pans, showing it to me, and then her and her pig just left. Once I was alone I was still so scared that I cried, then laughed at myself for crying. So if you ever feel crappy just remember I was once so frightened by an old lady that I cried. on but it was camouflaged (Upvotes: 58)
@TheAmazingSpiderMan, Emmy wished on a dragon scale And that's what started Dragon Tales Around the room the dragons flew But Emmy and Max knew what to do They climbed on the backs of their dragon friends Now the adventures never end! Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales it's almost time for Dragon Tales Come along and take my hand Let's all go to Dragon Land There's Org, he's the biggest Not so brave of heart There's Cassie So shy, but so very smart There's Zak and Wheezie and the tales of fun Cause you know two heads are better than one Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales It's almost time for Dragon Tales Come along and take my hand Let's all go to Dragon Land! on Dragontails (Upvotes: 72)
Does anyone remember my comment about the evil bird that had forcefully entered my home one night and then attacked me? Well, a few days ago I stopped seeing him around and thought that by some miracle of God that pecker fart had left. I began to feel at ease in my home again... Watched TV, went to the bathroom, and even slept peacefully without the fear of a pigeon murdering me. All was well in my life; I was happy. Today though, everything changed. I was on my way to the upstairs bathroom (the one downstairs ran out of tp). When I reached the second floor of my home I became aware of someone watching me, the hairs in my neck rising in warning. 'Run!' my instincts screamed. Instead I was like a character from a bad horror film and I looked around, searching for the predator. "Hello?" I asked cautiously, my heart thrumming rapidly in my chest. There was silence; deafening and terrifying silence. I turned to make for the bathroom, and there on the stair rail was the bird. on Evolution of Hugh Jackman (Upvotes: 69)
I recently started sleeping with stuffed animals again because my dog Gary is at the vet and I'm not used to sleeping without him. *Sings 'Gary come home' on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 36)

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