ProudGlork 21706 points


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@Christian Bale, Outside of my bedroom window is all woods, and there's been a lot of fog and the streetlight a few yards away softly lights it up so everything looks like the woods in slenderman. It scared the hell out of me because I can hear the squirrels and they sound like footsteps. But then I hear my loud black neighbors complain about McDonalds not having chicken McNugget bagels, and everything is okay again. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 108)
Am I the only one who wasn't able to use this app ALL day? on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 87)
Well if Ted wasn't busy telling girls he just met that he loves them, maybe he could get something done right. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 46)
Maybe if you didn't piss on the carpet and hump me all the time I wouldn't have had to deceive you. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 104)
@MoneyMakerBrad, Or when you've made a vow of silence because you want to show control so you can be a fighter pilot, but on the way to a beauty pageant for your little sister she makes you look at cards to test for color blindness that she got at the hospital and you can't see the difference between the colors and then your uncle tells you that you're color blind, and that fighter pilots need perfect vision so you make your parents pull over the van so you can run out and scream as you bang the ground in frustration. Or is that just in movies? on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 86)

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