Smo Queed 32485 points

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@WickedStyx, So Bill Nye, the Science Guy (BILL, BILL, BILL BILL!) and Neil DeGrasse Tyson go to see Nicolas Cage perform We Are Number One at Harambe's memorial, which is held at John Travolta's house. Donald Trump audibly sweats at their sultry voices and just dabs uncontrollably. And i tell you what the shjt was lit af fam 😂😂🔥🔥👌👌👌💯💯💯💯💯. Dickbutt. After he finished dabbing he got a small loan of a million dollars. He took the money and bought some white Vans. Wait, WRONG! He spent his money to convict Ted Cruz as the zodiac killer. Nick Cage was done performing and helped with the arrest, only by yelling at the arresting officer "JUST DO IT!" The Spanish Inquisition. Nick noticed that he recognized the man. He told the man, "My name is Nicolas Cage. You killed my father, prepare to die." Neil DeGrasse Tyson looked over at Nick and exclaimed "Look out, we got a badass over here!" Bill Nye, having none of this commotion bid adieu to his date with a "Bye Felicia!" on Memes (Upvotes: 93)
@HoorayFerSocks, i feel that so much. on Funny Pics (Upvotes: 78)
@DumbleDoofus, Obviously Pole-Guy Knock Off and Put Your Own Instead on Buotaoshi (Upvotes: 77)
Sooooo one time, I was living with my girlfriend in high school. And one of my friends came over. My girlfriend was 21 so we decided to drink. Well we got pretty stupid. I don't entirely know what happened but in the morning i was in her bed with my friend. My girlfriend was in my bed. I was confused so i woke her up and asked what happened. She told me that my friend couldn't go to sleep on the couch so he went to my bed, but when he woke up in the middle of the night he forced his way in between us and passed out. The funniest thing is that i thought he was my girlfriend at first so i cuddled up. Now, he's bisexual and i didn't want to send the wrong message so i got up. But he wouldn't let me go at first and kept asking me something. I asked what he wanted. He said about tree fiddy. It was at this point i realized my friend was actually an 8 story tall crustacean from the paleozoic era. The Loch. Ness. Monstah. And i told him, "Got dammit monstah i aint givin' you no tree fiddy!" on Fail (Upvotes: 77)
Oh it turned to stone alright. 😎 on Convenient (Upvotes: 75)

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