TheAntiHistorian 3461 points

TheAntiHistorian

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Ah, yes. The infamous spin on DaVanci's "Last Supper". This was painted in 1842 after Christopher Columbus signed the Declaration of Independence in Manhattan to commemorate the People's freedom from drinking tax tea in Britain. You'll notice at the right, St. Bernard's palm pointed skyward represents longevity and good will to men, since this was done shortly before Christmas. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 95)
Coffee was an accidental invention. Circa 1200 AD, Galileo accidentally threw a wet cat into a field of cocoa beans. The deranged feline acted as a natural food processor and annihilated the crops' entirety. After a long night of playing his favorite drinking game-chess-with Rasputin, Galileo stumbled through the field and vomited uncontrollably. The next morning's shower revealed that mixing the powder with water creates coffee. And then Starbucks bought it. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 53)
Cats were originally invented in 3010 b.c. by Jimmy Fallon coffee assistant in order to expedite the process of brewing. About 20 years after, Kung Rasputan the Herp ordered the immediate execution of all cats because of his allergies. With only a few cats remaining, Al Gore invented the internet, which in time rebalanced the population of cats. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 70)
What do stickless lollipops have anything to do with meth and sandals? on Just don't do it (Upvotes: 30)
@Beeftinkle, dude, I don't know. I'm fairly drunk right now. I'll find out who called that bitch later. on Funnyism Picture (Upvotes: 29)

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